Search Results: men not getting what they want

Its a very tough topic to talk about but I (26 M) sometimes do experience sexual harassment.

!! Before going further I do acknowledge that girls experience this from men as well and I do not want to deny this, I merely want to open up the conversation that it can go both ways!!

But when I talk about it with my friends they usually laugh it off because I'm a guy and specially female friends are like yeah I really doubt its close to what I'm experiencing.

Now with small stuff I'm not too bothered, like a girl when shouts like take me home with you when I'm out is kinda funny and easy to brush off. Although there are things that go too far. One example is that when I arrive at a gym I have girls staring at me and aggressively trying to take a peek when I'm changing clothes (it has subsides since I go there once or twice a day now and I'm quite a regular). This stuff does creep me out.

Also sometimes when I walk in jogging pants or something loose some girl will randomly grab my ass. This only happened twice in the last year but this really does cross a line.

The worst part is though that there is no right way to respond as a guy, if I get angry at her people will think im being aggressive to a helpless woman, and if I tell the truth people just stare in disbelief because I'm a man.

Now I will be honest that it's not the scariest thing to me since I don't go to clubs and I only drink water so getting something slipped in my drink is nearly impossible. I'm also physically stronger then 99% of other people I meet (men and women). But I worry since I have a girlfriend and we are extreemly prude with these things.

I wanted to ask for guys, have you ever experienced this and how do you deal with this? And for girls do you think this happens to guys and have you done it in the past?

And more importantly how to open up this conversation?

I feel like my ex was emotionally abusive. I used to really be into her more than she was into me. She used tell me “I didn’t want this relationship, you did”. And when people would ask how we met she’d say “I didn’t wanna date him”. I explained to her how it hurts me when she says these things m. And she’d say “you’re just insecure”.

What’s even worse, she told me about how before we started dating. She went on dates with guys who she really liked and they rejected her. So am I the nice guy who finished last?

I used to be highly attracted to her. She never wanted sex with me, at the same time, complaining that her ex boyfriend didn’t want sex with her. She barely wanted to be affectionate with me.

Even worse, she used deliberately turn me on so she could sexually reject me. Would tell me “come over I’ll lick your balls and your butt” and refuse sex when I show up. Every single time we’d have an argument, even if it’s minor she’d say “you’re getting none”. So I started keeping silent to avoid conflict.

She used to complain that I’m not making her happy and give me reasons why. Which I’ll admit I’m not perfect, I know I have my flaws and bad habits, but. When I’d tell her what she’s doing to make me unhappy she’d reply “you knew I was a bitch when you met me”.

About 3 weeks ago we went to a Thanksgiving dinner at her friends house and I felt like she was kinda flirty with a guy. She seemed very touchy with him. I even saw her put her arm around him. I mentioned it to her a few days later. About how I was uncomfortable with how she behaved with him, and again. Told me “im insecure” and broke up with me. Denied ever putting her arm around him when I saw her do it.

It’s been a couple weeks and I’m still emotionally hurting over her. Haven’t been able to eat or sleep. Having nightmares and visions of her in bed with other men. I’ve dated and had sex with other women since. But I still can’t get her out of my head. What should I do?