On my first date with a woman, she laid out where she was at. She said that she didn't want a relationship. So people say that when a woman says that she doesn't want a relationship with YOU. Fair enough, but I figure since she said it so early on I believed her. OK so we had an awesome 5-hour first date but I was like dang it won't work then, but she was like "I am happy to talk about it more" and wanted a second date. When I thought things over, the not wanting a relationship issue still seemed bad, but wanting to date around and get to know people seemed very reasonable to me, so I was like, well, maybe we can just spend some time together and get to know each other, and then I can worry about it later.
The thing that bugs me now that it didn't work out when I left the ball in her court is wondering if I was needy or expecting too much. The thing is I'm 39 now and I think I've come a long way, but I used to be really needy. It was just confusing to me a little--like to me, it makes sense to date several people for a bit, without sex, and pick someone who interests you more, focus on them a bit, and see what happens. I hadn't been in this type of situation before, so I had a lot of questions--like wondering what getting to know each other meant--could we hang out like once a week?
I guess I am feeling old fashioned and have been called that. I suppose the question is do a lot of women think it's needy to want the POSSIBILITY of a relationship with them as you get to know each other better? Is it OK for men to want exclusivity before sex? I think some people see that as needy too, but for me, sex is something I want with someone special, not just for the sake of doing it. I guess everyone's different but I wanted to hear from some women. Lately I just don't feel so understood and am starting to worry I am coming across as wanting too much. I just don't get the more casual climate, even though I respect that it works well for others. Thanks! :)
What Girls Said
Some people are dating for a relationship. Others are dating to just have fun.
Some people only have sex in a relationship.
Some people can have sex even if they aren't in a relationship and can separate it from love and only use it for pleasure.
There are many many different types of people in the dating world who like and enjoy different things. It just depends on the person you are dating.
thank you that helps
People date for different reasons. You need to find someone who is on the same page as you.
thanks so much for your time