He doesn't want to lose the friendship if we dated. I thought that men don't generally like being friends with women. Now we don't even text?

[Bethany22]

I initiated a friendship with a guy who I was secretly attracted to but he didn't seem attracted to me. I thought guys generally don't have much reason to be friends with women, unless they want to get sex. But weeks later, this guy said that good friendships like ours don't happen too often, and that while we could start dating, he wanted to first be sure that I would still want to be friends with him again if we were to break up.

But now, we haven't talked for over a month (after dating for a while). We never officially broke up, but you would think that if I was so special as a friend, he would want to keep in contact still, right?

So what's the protocol now? I mean, if he's no longer initiating contact with me, why would I assume he would be interested in getting any texts from me?

[DaveJord]

So guys say stupid shit all the time and do not really understand what it really means. I would say that your initial instincts were right about the sex. But why would some guy say he would only want to date if you two could remain freinds after?

Answer: He's young and naive, and either lacking in emotional intelligence or maturity.

Obviously, he said something like that because he is a sensitive guy. And now he started dating and shit happened, and he got his feelings hurt on some level and you are not the one. Or he was never into dating you, wanted to be freinds, but was not going to pass on the opportunity to have sex.

Like it has been like 30 days since I have had sex, and i have been on four first dates since the last time I had sex... and at this point if any of those four were to have offered me sex, I would not pass on it... because how long until I get another chance?

This seems to have had enough of it and wants to move on and probably never wanted to be "just freinds" but for one reason or the other he thought it would some smart stuff to say at the time.

[dynamicyandere]

I have friendships with women that I don’t want to progress to a relationship because I know that our compatibility as a couple wouldn’t be high enough for me to want a romantic relationship with them. But they’re still good company and nice to spend time with though. Good vibes. Just not someone I’d want to pursue romantically.


Then of course there have been friendships with women that made me want to become more than friends, and many times the feelings were mutual, and we ended up together.


As for your friend… The sudden non-responsiveness is odd. Is he online though? Is he okay? Did something happen? I think as a friend, the least he could do is give you some closure if things weren’t working out. A simple, “Hey, I don’t think this is really working out…” would be better than silence without context. If I were you, I would want to check on him to make sure everything’s alright. I wouldn’t want anything to be miscommunicated.

[dynamicyandere]

Also, for the texting, perhaps he has different texting expectations. Has he been the sole person to initiate texts? Usually people like a little back and forth on who initiates. It shows effort. So, giving him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he’s waiting to see if you’ll reach out to him. Nobody likes being the sole conversation initiator.

[OfMiceandMen]

Wow... guy's pretty fickle. I'd send a text and call him out on it... hello friend, where'd you go?

Even if he feels a little awkward about your discussion, he shouldn't just drop off the face of the world.

Pretty much a walking contradiction.

[OfMiceandMen]

Thanks.🥂

[Anonymous]

Guys don't want to be friends with women they don't respect. I would say it'd depend WHEN he said it. Some women are silly an won't date guys they consider friends. So many guys will state right out we're not friends so they don't get the hopes of dating her canceled. Personally, I wouldn't want to date a woman that didn't consider me a friend. I think women who hold his separation are not worth dating. I don't consider them emotionally healthy people.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Did you consider just texting him and see if he responds? I will be truthful, I had girls as friends, nothing more, but they would keep getting closer to me like we were more than friends.

[exitseven]

Now it gets weird apparently. Why not text him first?

[Mansearching]

Yes men can be friends with women. But if we date them its hard to stay friends after a break up. Especially if it was bad.

[Still-alive]

I'm gonna guess that another girl came into the picture. unless you know for sure what he's been up to.

[DB1973]

Probably as confused as you are. Express what you wrote on here. He needs to know where a boundary is and what to expect from you.

[Lokiion]

He probably just not attracted to you a lot of guys with female friends that don’t want more are usually not attracted to them

[DextroShade]

Men are not your friends, the sooner you realize that the better.

[In_Trance]

Ironically you've already lost a friendship so you might as well

[shortster]

Depends on the woman and if I am in a relationship.