Search Results: boyfriend is avoiding me

My boyfriend and I have been together for the last 3+ years and we have had our fair shares of ups and downs. It’s still somewhat difficult to be in a relationship with him because he tends to keep the same unhealthy patterns going even though we have went to couple’s counseling about it.

Background: we met during undergraduate school when I was a junior and he was a freshman. I am currently enrolled in graduate school now, not working whereas he started his career after graduating in May.

The problem is that he lives 3 hours away from me and doesn’t like driving to a big city which is only a hour away from me to visit me. He prefers if I drove to him which I have done before but it costed me a lot anxiety driving and waking up early hours to hit the road to see him.

the last time he visited was because his friend had made a plan for a double date thing where he couldn’t really cancel. We went and he was worried about his finances the whole time. Then, we had sex in my car since he wanted it and didn’t finish me really. When I asked for him to do so, he claimed I was too “sweaty” now and didn’t want to do that. I was very upset since I felt used and he felt bad about it later as well.

recently, I was having back problems and asked him to help pay for my office visit since I was avoiding to go because didn’t have health insurance and he kept pushing me to schedule it. He said he would send money but kept asking if I could help in any way and I said “no hence why I asked you, you’re my last resource.” He didn’t send the money and I had to put it on my credit card which would be hard to pay off since my graduate program doesn’t allow me to work while in school. I’m not sure but I feel like I’m in the rude one when I just want him to do what he said he’d do and pursue me like how he’s supposed to. I tried to confront him about it but he kept apologizing and still didn’t send any sort of money to help. I just don’t know what to do.

Hi, I’m a just 20F so am pretty inexperienced but curious with how relationship dynamics work. My boyfriend of a month and I are planning our first weekend trip together to the beach. Basically, last week we just texted our availability and then I bought the hotel and he bought the rental car. However, yesterday I found out my brother is getting out of the hospital the weekend boyfriend and I planned our vacation and found cheap flights home that day… since I haven’t been able to see him in a couple months, I want to fly home that weekend now. (And I see much much nicer hotel options for the following weeks). Am I wrong for asking my boyfriend to reschedule our vacation plans? I want this to be little stress so feel kinda bad about it but think it may be worth it with how the prices and schedules workout.

We will be discussing it all this evening when he gets back from work, but I want to avoid these mixups in the future, so.. how do you typically plan these types of coordinated events with your partner and split it up? Is it a good idea to sit down and do everything in person, side by side? Any advice would be great 😊