How do you plan a first vacation/trip with your SO?

[Anonymous]

Hi, I’m a just 20F so am pretty inexperienced with how relationship dynamics work. My boyfriend of a month and I are planning our first weekend trip together to the beach. Basically, last week we just texted our availability and then I got the hotel and he bought the rental car for the weekend. However, yesterday I found out my brother is getting out of the hospital the weekend boyfriend and I planned our vacation and found cheap flights home that day… since I haven’t been able to see him in a couple months, I really want to fly home that weekend now. (And I see much much nicer hotel options for the following weeks). Am I wrong for asking my boyfriend to reschedule our vacation plans?

We will be discussing it all this evening when he gets back from work, but I want to avoid these mixups in the future, so.. how do you typically plan these types of coordinated events with your partner and split it up? Is it a good idea to sit down and do everything in person, side by side? Any advice would be great :)

[Jamie05rhs]

Ok, I will give you my opinion:

Women talk a lot, and that can be very distracting; so when I'm trying to plan something with someone, I prefer to be in separate locations, communicating through a messaging platform. That way we can share ideas, while also having the space to accomplish our research.

However, I do 100% believe in face-to-face communication as well. Because body language and nonverbal feedback really helps a LOT when you're trying to guage interest in various things on behalf of the other person. And you can have a good dialogue and hash things out.

But when it comes to the details (hours of operation, admission costs, special events, promotional discounts, etc), it's best to do research separately and gather all of the data, THEN come together and share what you have found.

Also, when dealing with dates (as in, days on the calendar), always always ALWAYS communicate with your partner and decide that together. Never pick an arbitrary date without asking them first.

[Jamie05rhs]

Oh- ALSO, trips should never be planned in a rush. Always spread the planning process over a period of at least 2 weeks.

[Jamie05rhs]

And complete the planning process at least 2 months before the event.

(If it involves flying, complete at least 9 months in advance.)

[midnightmoon05]

I agree with what you said. They have part of it planned out. Her dilemma is about her brother.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks, @midnightmoon05!

[Jamie05rhs]

I personally think it's okay to adjust the plans in this case. She should just ask her boyfriend politely.

[Jamie05rhs]

Thanks for the MHO!

[In_Trance]

you can't wait a couple of days to see your brother? I don't get why that's a consideration.

[Asker]

My SO works mon-fri so we’d have to plan for another weekend

[Asker]

And part of it is the flights home being reasonabley affordable that weekend.

[In_Trance]

again, you can't go and see your brother before or after the trip? Why does it need to be disruptive to your plans?

[Asker]

Well I can wait… that’s why I asked my boyfriend and didn’t demand… it’s because the weekend after the original plan works better.
1. I am a full time college student so want to take advantage of a relatively cheap flight
2. The next week he starts work later so we can spend sat-Monday morning at the beach instead of just sat-Sunday.
3. There are better hotel options for that week that are a lotttt nicer than this original week.

[In_Trance]

I still don't get it, but whatever.

You made a plan and he spent money. Stick to the plan

[Asker]

All of it is refundable.

[midnightmoon05]

Go with what you have already planned unless it’s life and death situation. in this case, it’s not.

it also depends if this is a very serious relationship with the new boyfriend.
you can always talk to him and learn to communicate… at the end, respect each other’s decisions.

[TransAm85]

You've only been w/the guy a month? I think your family is more important, even if he's not on his death bed. Tell ur boyfriend u have to reschedule. Ur only 20. U think that guy would jump to vacation w/u if his brother was just getting out of the hospital? No way..

[sheikalana]

Make a list of the places both of you would like to go and chose from that list. Decide with your partner what kind of vibes do you want to go for like beach, mountains, museums, nature.

[serious_miss419]

I’d have to plan their death so I could collect money and then I could afford a trip 😂😂😂

[Anonymous]

You sit down and discuss it, and talk about what's important for both of you to see.

[Sonorous]

I don't 👄