Sometimes I’m talking to my boyfriend and I don’t hear what he says and he end up yelling at me and getting pissed. I’ve told him before that I tend to be very distracted and sometimes I miss what he says, then he says he understands but when it happens again, he yells, get angry and acts as if I’m not giving him enough attention. Today it happened again and when he yelled, I just stepped outside to avoid an unnecessary confrontation but he got even more pissed. I told him I don’t like it when he yells but he doesn’t seem to understand.
My boyfriend yells at me all the time, what should I do?
Usually, people raise their voices out of feeling like they're not being heard. If that's the case he's probably repeating himself a bit too much and literally not being listened to. You can imagine how frustrating it could be.
There's another reason to raise their voice and it's just to shout down the other person and not give them a chance to respond... like you see most of the time from hood rats.
I'm going to assume he starts yelling out of the first reason... He's trying to communicate and you're just not listening to what he feels is important to convey. Practice listening skills and try not to multitask when he's trying to convey things to you. I would say he needs to practice communication skills as well.
I'm currently going through this with my wife, and I'm just now to the point where I can calm myself and not yell or raise my voice... I just start repeating myself until she can't ignore it. I will say it is very fucking frustrating to deal with though.
Hmmm sounds like a big miscommunication going on that keeps repeating and making him get even more mad each time. Also sounds like he's getting fed up with you not understanding/listening/etc with what he says to you sometimes.
From these things, it's an incompatible issue going on. It will keep getting worse as you're describing. His lack of patience vs your lack of understanding what he says sometimes.
As a lot of people have already recommended, this toxic relationship going on shouldn't continue in my opinion. I don't see some sort of compromise for this. I'm sure you'll better understand another man vs that guy or another guy won't mind explaining things to you again or better. Another man having more patience than him and more self control with anger.
Are you dating my verbally abusive ex boyfriend? Wow, you've just described one of the most awful person I've ever crossed path with. He used to do that. If I accidentally didn't pay attention to a small detail or didn't get something right, it was getting yelled at, downgrading me and at times threatening to break-up. It was bad.
one of my rules with me is no yelling. I don’t know but I withdraw from people when they yell at me. There are so many alternatives to figure out an argument. Just don’t tell or be physically abusive. I tell that to anyone I’m dating because I’m going to withdraw from them when they do
this is my opinion, personally I can't take being yelled at. I cry and I just couldn't control my emotions. no one deserves to be yelled at, its a sign of disrespect. if I were you I'd end the relationship because I know that you know better, you deserve better.
"Don't yell at me and don't talk to me like that. I'm leaving"
Get up leave. Don't see him or interact with him for the next week.
Do that any time, EVERY time he does it no matter what you are doing. Even if you are out at a restaurant, get up call a taxi and leave.
If you show him he can't treat you that way and that you won't stand for something in your life treating you that way, he'll learn to respect you more and see your character and strength.
If he still keeps doing it then dump him and go no contact and start seeing other men.
If enough “good flags” are there, talk to him, see if he’s able to apologize and change. If not, dump him.
I have irrational mood swings and my beloved wife knows how to direct me to my meds and take me off the ledge rather quickly. I always ask if she's ever frightened. She always says no. Thats my cue to go to an asylum.
Just reading the question is cringe-worthy. At best he sounds immature. Maybe a little dull. I mean, wtf, change your behavior, dude. If she didn't hear you, repeat yourself. Or, change how you interact. Say something to get her attention before you launch in.
Talk to him about this. The larger issue is that he has problems controlling his anger. If he doesn't make obvious and consistent changes, get out. This is not a recipe for a happy life.
There's 2 things you can do. 1, when he's talking to you just give him all your attention. That should keep him from yelling at you. If it doesn't work do number 2 2, pack up your stuff and leave him. You don't need all the verbal abuse. Verbal abuse usually leads to physical abuse.
Please leave the relationship. That’s not going to get better and it’ll only get worse over time if you stay, making him think that you’re willing to tolerate that abuse.
It's not that he doesn't understand, it's that he doesn't give a fuck and knows you'll give in when he starts kicking and screaming like a child. The next time he pulls that shit, get up in his face and start screaming right back.
Girl to girl maybe when y'all are talking you should put more effort into focusing on just him. He prolly feels like frustrated bc he feels like you don't care enough to even listen ik bc in my relationship it's the opposite I'm the one that's not being heard and it hurts for it might not seem like a big deal to u but to him he obviously feel strongly about it but he shouldn't be yelling at you either so he needs to work on how he reacts
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women must change or judgement shall fall upon them
Maybe have a cup of coffee so that you are alert before engaging in conversation with him. If he yells regularly maybe it is a deeper issue you need to explore?
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