Search Results: deserve better

I just read her update on reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/comments/yozb12/my_husband_40_m_and_i_39_f_are_working_things_out/

- She cheats in 2002 with the guy's friend. She was 19 at the time. They were boyfriend and girlfriend.

- The guy forgives, she betters herself, hever cheated since, they get married later on and have 3 kids.

- 20 years later, this time the husband cheats with his co-worker but for different reasons, unrelated to her old cheating.

- The guy falls in love with his co-worker, he exchanges texts about traveling to Paris with her and leaving his kids, spends money on his affair (even steals and uses some of his wife's money) and takes his wife's meals and desserts to feed the woman

- Everything backfired in the end; his AP partner was using him for money. They're currently working things out. She's sounds upset on her post though.

My boyfriend and I have been long-distance dating for closer to 4 years, and it's been a rollercoaster for many reasons. But, recently, we both finally had an opportunity to spend a night together at a hotel and enjoy ourselves. As soon as we walked in since I had not seen him for some time, he wanted sex. I wanted to do it as well because, mentally, I thought it would be fun for us both. However, while we were doing it, he kept telling me not to take my shirt off and other stuff that seemed distant. He finished and was quiet, giving a stand-offish vibe afterwards. I kept asking him what the issue was, and he insisted it was nothing. Finally, once I got ready for the event he wanted to go to, he stated that he was worried about my health since I had gotten "bigger."

My weight has fluctuated a lot throughout the years in early adulthood, especially with working and college. When we met, I was on the smaller side, but it was an unhealthy time for me, hardly eating. I got on the hormonal IUD for him, and that caused me to gain a lot of weight.

I started crying and asked if he was ashamed of me, if he was still wanting me in that way, the works basically because of my body. He apologized a while later about it, and admitted saying that I deserve better which was also weird. I'm not sure how to really feel or go about this since he is health-crazy and wants to make sure I live a long life with him. However, his behavior did not match up to what he was saying. I mentioned it to a few friends to which they said that he might have seen better and now has a desire for that, or he's using health as a scapegoat to cover up his lack of wanting me now. What do you think? I'm afraid he doesn't find me attractive anymore but the weight is mainly because of him wanting this birth control in me. Do you think he is just using me for sex/companionship? Does he actually love me?

I met this guy, I really like him but the whole situation is messy, we both have trust issues and can’t trust each other. We’re so different in so many things that even our friends don’t understand why we’re together. He’s a really extrovert outgoing guy we had a Tumultuous past, all you can imagine! And I’m the total opposite. For some reasons we love each other but it’s really toxic, it makes us really anxious specially me all day because I’m scared that he change his mind. Some of my friends who know him told me that yes he’s not a bad guy but I deserve x100 better, that I shouldn’t lower my standards just for him, that if have nothing to give me, that this bad boy guy loving a kind sweet girl is so cliché and I’ll regret this if I don’t stop now before falling a love. What should I do? Please help me I’m so so lost…