Search Results: he canceled the date

My boyfriend and I have been together for the last 3+ years and we have had our fair shares of ups and downs. It’s still somewhat difficult to be in a relationship with him because he tends to keep the same unhealthy patterns going even though we have went to couple’s counseling about it.

Background: we met during undergraduate school when I was a junior and he was a freshman. I am currently enrolled in graduate school now, not working whereas he started his career after graduating in May.

The problem is that he lives 3 hours away from me and doesn’t like driving to a big city which is only a hour away from me to visit me. He prefers if I drove to him which I have done before but it costed me a lot anxiety driving and waking up early hours to hit the road to see him.

the last time he visited was because his friend had made a plan for a double date thing where he couldn’t really cancel. We went and he was worried about his finances the whole time. Then, we had sex in my car since he wanted it and didn’t finish me really. When I asked for him to do so, he claimed I was too “sweaty” now and didn’t want to do that. I was very upset since I felt used and he felt bad about it later as well.

recently, I was having back problems and asked him to help pay for my office visit since I was avoiding to go because didn’t have health insurance and he kept pushing me to schedule it. He said he would send money but kept asking if I could help in any way and I said “no hence why I asked you, you’re my last resource.” He didn’t send the money and I had to put it on my credit card which would be hard to pay off since my graduate program doesn’t allow me to work while in school. I’m not sure but I feel like I’m in the rude one when I just want him to do what he said he’d do and pursue me like how he’s supposed to. I tried to confront him about it but he kept apologizing and still didn’t send any sort of money to help. I just don’t know what to do.

My ex colleague/ex manager messaged me 2-3 months after I quit to check in and asked to go out for coffee sometime to catch up.

We got along pretty well at work. However, he is single (I think) and I am in a relationship. I personally don’t see anything wrong with it but I don't know how my boyfriend will see it. I don’t want to disrespect him either. Before I ask him I wanted to get opinions because even if I ask him, he might take offense to it and it’ll be an inevitable argument.

Is meeting for coffee w an ex colleague ok if it’s casual? After Googling it I’m wondering … if it sounds more like a date? I might cancel or decline.