Alright. In my last question I mentioned that I was going out with this really nice girl and asked what a first kiss experience was like. First off, thank you to those who responded. Since that time… things have taken a turn. I will try to sum this up as best I can. We only have 2 days that we can go out during the week due to schedules not aligning. She’s a waitress. Because of family stuff, she’s had to cancel the last two times. Each time she’s canceled, she hasn’t said anything about rescheduling. But, when I ask her about going out again, she seems to be on board. I don’t mind planning, but it bugs me when I have to schedule every date. I’m meeting her tomorrow in hopes to discuss where this is going. I don’t want to drag something out that will only make us feel worse when we realize there is no future. But I also want to give it a valiente effort if it seems like a possibility. (I am an over thinker if you couldn’t tell) Fasten your seat belts cuz I ain’t done yet. Last night I went to my go-to hang out bar where I usually meet with friends. There is a very attractive waitress who bar tends on Saturdays. I literally went in there to just have some food and a few drinks. This girl started asking me questions and building a conversation. I was not the only one sitting at the bar, yet, I was the only one she was talking to. I could tell that she wasn’t flirting for tips. I know the difference. The first thing that attracted me to her was her eyes. So, before I left, I mentioned that she had pretty eyes. She was very appreciative. I meant nothing more than to pay her a compliment. I’m not trying to be a player. Then she told me “come see me again when I bar tend next Saturday!” I told her I would and left. Here’s my thought. Make an effort with the first girl if it’s not a ridiculous sacrifice. If that doesn’t work, try and start a relationship with the second girl. I want to be fair to both girls and not lead them on or hurt them. Sorry for the length. Thoughts?
I have a girl dilemma. Any insight?
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Anonymous
(45 Plus)
1 y
'Each time she’s canceled, she hasn’t said anything about rescheduling'
The ball's in her court so it's down to her to reschedule. When you do it, you communicate a scarcity mindset and lack of boundaries.
'it bugs me when I have to schedule every date.'
That's because it's bad for your self esteem but you're still doing it. Why?
'I’m meeting her tomorrow in hopes to discuss where this is going.'
Bad idea. Let the feminine energy worry about where this is going...
'I don’t want to drag something out that will only make us feel worse when we realize there is no future.
If that doesn’t work, try and start a relationship with the second girl.'
You are making the same mistake I made at your age, and that most young men make, and continue to make. You are putting more effort into chasing women, than chasing your life purpose. I know this because if you were on your purpose, you wouldn't have the time to worry about this, and she would be 'forced' to be the one rescheduling because your schedule would be tight.
Starting a relationship with either girl at your age will amount to nothing that moves your life forward in a meaningful way. Focusing on, discovering and working on your life purpose is what should be every mans priority. This is what will determine so much in your life. Chasing those girls will add nothing to your life other than time, energy and money unwisely spent. Women should be at the bottom of the list of priorities. When you get to your 30's and above, you will have more attention from women providing you look after yourself and if you're on your purpose by then, the world will be your oyster.
But continue on your current path, you will realize what I'm saying here at a later time and will wish you prioritized better.
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1 y
There’s only so much I can write in the description. So I apologize for not being able to provide all details that apply to this whole scenario. I have found my life purpose. I am a full time manufacturing engineer for a metalcasting foundry, and I work mostly 9 to 11 hour days. I also have been working with other engineers to attend nation wide events and seminars in order to look at what the future holds for our industry while making new connections with other companies. So I am constantly learning and building my career. Throughout my day I don’t give these girls much thought because I’m at work to do just that. The only reason I want to start a relationship now is because I want to add more to my life. Not because I’m lonely, depressed, or anything else like that. But because I want to have a family someday. If it doesn’t work out with either girl, I would be fine. Being on my own has been good too. I do agree with you, I should let the other girl do the work herself and stop doing it for her. But I don’t want to just keep my nose in work until I hit 30 and hope the dating scene looks better then. Thank you for your time! If you have other comments, by all means keep the conversation going 👍🏻
It's refreshing to finally see a young man on his purpose and it's good to be wrong for once. Just note that life purpose is not always the same as our career, but it's easy to confuse it with this. In your case it could well be so it's great you are on the best track. But this means you need to be even more careful of the type of girl you invite into your life and will need stricter boundaries. When a girl says she can't make it but does not reschedule, that is no good. Any woman that will be the wife of your new generation will need to do much better than that.
However, many times I've seen people say that the only way to find the right partner is through God...
Thank you! Agreed. I do need to find someone who can bring that kind of responsibility to the table. I am a Christian myself, and I make sure to address that topic early on with whoever I get involved with. I absolutely think that two people need to have the same mindset in regards to religion as to not cause conflict when raising kids or making other life decisions together.
