Search Results: should we break up girlfriend

My girlfriend Bianca acts like she’s not into me. For example, when people ask us how we met. She tells people “I didn’t wanna date him but my friend Becky told me to”. When that’s not even the truth. She’s the one who approached me and said “we should hang out”.

Bianca makes me feel like a simp. She acts like she’s not into me. She rarely has interest in sex. She says it turns her off how I breath so hard n deep during sex. We have sex once a week if I’m lucky. Then she acts like she’s doing me a favour because we have sex. Bianca always shows interest in other dudes and she’s not affectionate like I want her to be.

Feeling so emotionally neglected, I broke up with Bianca and immediately started a relationship with a girl named Shelly. Shelly was the best thing that happened to me in so long. The sex was amazing, she’s very affectionate, and she makes me feel like the man. But, the only problem is, Shelly lives in another city. She wants me to move to her city but I hate the city she lives in. It’s too crime infested, I know I can’t live there. And Shellys not willing to move her either. So Shelly is not forever.

A month after I started dating Shelly long distance, Bianca called me crying in the middle of night. Saying that she misses me and wants me to come over. My dumbass went back to Bianca and now I’m juggling two girlfriends. I’m emotionally tied to Bianca and sexually addicted to Shelly. If Bianca was giving me the love, sex, and affection I wouldn’t be messing with Shelly. I can’t drop either of them. What do I do?

This is in response to this question below:

Let's settle the debate, which is worse, female cheater or male cheater?

My answer above question is of course that both men and women are equally scumbags when it comes to cheating.

Yes men generally have impulsive sexual needs. Yes women generally have emotional and attention needs. But neither have an excuse to cheat. It’s natural to feel occasionally tempted however both men and women can have the willpower to abstain. If the temptation is getting to be too much they can break up first and then do what they want.

However a better question to ask is who owns up to their cheating bs better when they are caught or feel too guilty and confess?

From my observations cheating men are usually A) sociopathic lying scumbags who feel no guilt (maybe sex addicts) or B) normal guys who got blindsided by lust and caved in.

The A guys can’t be trusted or forgiven. But the B guys will usually be extremely remorseful and guilt stricken. That doesn’t mean B guys should be let off the hook. But they will own up to their crap. They won’t blame their girlfriend/wife for their shitty decision even if they were upset with them earlier

However I find that women who get caught cheating will often try to gaslight their boyfriend/husband. They will say “oh you weren’t there for me” or some other crap. Not all women but many of just have egos that can’t accept that they are cheating whores. So they try to placate their conscious through mental gymnastics vs. just saying “I cheated and I was 100% wrong. You didn’t deserve that and I accept the consequences”. I just do not see that many women doing the latter.

My girlfriend is really close with her sister, but I'd wager they haven't gotten as close as we have, if you catch my drift.

So while one is clearly more intimate, which one takes precedence? We also spend every waking moment together and have for the past 3 years, while she sees her family only occassionally. Yeah, there's a blood tie, but she admits that her family is really rude and demeaning and she doesn't like spending too much time with them.

For my situation, her sister is extremely rude and just plain mean, so I don't want to spend time with her. Girlfriend is upset that I don't want to see her sister.

But, they are still family. And while we could break up, family is more reliable, sometimes.

I have decided to minimize my time around her family as much as possible, as they are a net-negative to my life. But, I fully support her spending whatever time she wants with them. I'm just wondering how much leeway I should have to bitch about it in the event it damages our relationship. Freedom of choice, sure, but none of us get to decide freedom of outcome resulting from our actions. Does family obviously come first? Or does your romantic partner of 3 years?