I am a Black man dating a Mexican woman. We’ve been together for a couple months and the only problems we have are with her church.
For the past month, I’ve been going to her church instead of mines. Some people there are not friendly and make outrageous comments. It’s a predominately Hispanic church and besides me there’s one other black guy, a black girl, and a white family that goes there.
When they welcome new people to church, they give them gift cards. They gave me a Starbucks one and said “Sorry, we ran out of Chick-fil-A.” Some people ignore me and feel forced to talk to me. One person even gave me the address to a black church that’s 30 miles away and said there are people that can better serve you there.
Sometimes after church, they serve food and nearly everything has cheese on it. I’m lactose intolerant and I don’t always carry Lactaid with me. So the most I can eat is a salad and maybe some bread. After a couple weeks of disappointment, one lady grabbed me and said “I finally have something for you to eat.” I follow her to the room where they’re serving food and she hands me a bowl with cole slaw and 4 tomato slices. Then she offers me ranch, but the ranch has milk in it.
I feel like they’re trying to get rid of me. My girlfriend’s responses to these things are that they’ll warm up to me eventually and they’re really good people deep down. She even told me that it took a white guy 4 months for the church to warm up to him and his Peruvian wife. My girlfriend doesn’t really like to eat at church so that part doesn’t matter to her.
I feel like I shouldn’t have to put up with other people’s bullshit just to be with her. Should I break up with her or try to push through and maybe convince her to go to a different church like my old church which is multicultural?
