My boyfriend wants to convert to Islam, should I stay or leave?

[Anonymous]

I had doubts in my heart that something's going on and he is not telling me about it. Yesterday we had a conversation about religions in general just because i want to know if what i'm feeling is right and he told me about his feelings but he is not sure yet. I'm not going to convicin him to change his mind or to believe in what i believe in but i don't think that our relationship in going to be the same anymore. He won't drink, he won't even kiss me and i think that he will stop having sex with me because of it. Should i stay and support him or just leave him? I'm not religious and i will never be but for him i think he is being serious about religions.

Yes leave him

No support him

[kimmi862]

The important thing is that you guys love each other for who you are. You have to take note of any behaviour you cannot live with long-term. One of the most famous good Muslim converts is Mohammed Ali, he was a good man and was very dedicated to his religion. But his first marriage failed because of his conversion; she had to convert too but found it difficult. Janet Jackson recently divorced a muslim dude; while they were married she was often seen covering her hair but it was never confirmed if it was related to Islam. In Australia there is a rich dude called Salim Mahejer who married a white girl with blonde hair; got her to convert to Islam, he even got her to have plastic surgery to look more Arabic. She had to memorise the Koran before getting married.
This does not represent all relationships in such a scenario mainly because it depends on how serious one takes their beliefs. If you are serious about your current beliefs, they might conflict with his beliefs and cause more friction. But my advice is in this case you need to think with your head coz no matter what religion it is. Coz many religions can aggressively affect a new convert.
But in all this, love him for who he is. Don't try to change him or mock him.

[Asker]

No i'm not trying to change him or something but i'm just sad because after all these years that our relationship might end because of something like this. He knows that i don't to be religious or even get married now and he is ok with it but maybe this will change over the years. I'm sad and confused

[kimmi862]

Yeah I understand your worry and you have every right to feel the way you do. It might make or break things in your relationship and I'm so sorry that you have to process all of this. He will get to know what he is getting into, but right now don't overlook any red flags. He knows who you are and he knows how this change will affect you and your relationship. You have been clear on where you stand and your beliefs; so if he does try to change you it will be a sign that you are no longer what he wants you to be. Let him see for himself if this really is what he wants. But I hope all works out in the end coz it sounds like you guys have been through a lot.

[Asker]

Thanks

[btbc92]

That is entirely up to you. I don't believe in that faith, but if you have no desire to follow through then leave. Because eventually if he goes through with it, he is going to be forced to leave you anyway if he can't have a woman who also desires the same thing. You want premarital sex and, no2 he realizing that's it wrong. BUT, he's getting into a faith that is damaging and controlling. That's what happens when you're living in sin. You attract people who does the same sin, then when you realize the kind of lifestyle was wrong, it will separate you from that person. At the end of the day he has to do what he thinks is right for him to do. He can't force you. But once he does go in, that relationship is already over.

[Asker]

I'm just sad because our relationship may end because of something like this after being together for 6 years. I really don't know what's happening to him

[btbc92]

There is nothing to be really sad about. He made his choices, and you chose to live in that kind of life. He always thought about it, he probably just never told you. For I'm sure if you knew this from the beginning then you wouldn't have dated him. I won't date guys who doesn't share my views, beliefs, values, moral's and principles. Or at least have similar, but he has o respect that the kind of man I needed at the time is somebody who is going to wait until marriage to have sex. One doesn't need to be religious or be a believer in God to share those values. He feels that becoming Muslim will help him grow in those values that you don't equally share with him.

[btbc92]

to respect*

[btbc92]

Those who are in some type of faith tend's to have stronger relationships than those who doesn't. But those who are religious who tries to copy secular values tend's to fail just as well. Dating is not forever. Marriage is supposed to be. But again, people don't want marriage or are commitment phobic so they take what's supposed to be only in a marriage into dating, and cause all of this problems that your now dealing with. Somebody who doesn't share your views. Or is questioning his life choices. Because you two never established this years ago.

[Asker]

He used to believe in what i believe in and we share the same thoughts. Besides he said that didn't decide yet if he want to or not which is why i'm confused

[btbc92]

He wants to do what is right. It doesn't matter what he used to believe. Remember what I just said. When you are living in sin, you will attract people who are also living in that same kind of sin. When God wakes you up and calls you out from that life, you will end up shattering hearts because they chose a different path. Again, I don't agree with that faith, but as a Christian, that is what it means about being unequally yoked with somebody. He is only debating because he doesn't want to hurt you. And he doesn't know if actually going into Islam is the right thing.

[Paris13]

Unconditional Love has to Play a Part from your Heart.
I am a Christian, and I had Married a Muslim over in Egypt a long time ago. Religion was Never a problem, But Residing under the same Rough and Tough Roof with Him and his Family, Was Later... Our Demise. And then Some, hun.
Think it Over. Everyone under the Sun has a Different Story.
Good Luck. xx

[princess_jenna]

What the hell... Why would you leave him?
He just wants something to believe in when it comes to the afterlife and he's scared, that's why most people fall into religion.

[Asker]

He started to think of different things like no sex, no drinking or partying. He didn't force me to stopor change because he knows that i will never be religious or even think of that and not ready to get married. I think our relationship won't be the same anymore. We've been together for 6 years and he is acting weird now

[princess_jenna]

Maybe he’s hurt that you’re not down to get married. It sounds like this is something he, feels like he, has to do.

[LaikaFreefall]

If I was you, I would find out how his morals are going to be affected. Now maybe you're different, but to me a person's sense of right and wrong and the #1 most important thing. If Ik that you are a good person, any crazy shit (imo) that you might believe in isn't so bad. And if we share similar values, maybe we can make something work.
But if he is changing what he values as well as his religion, then... he's not even really the same guy you started dating. :/

I guess what im saying is, try to figure out just how much he is going to change. Not merely his behaviour like drinking, kissing, etc. But also what he thinks and feels, like INSIDE of him, you know?
Learn how his heart has changed and perhaps you will know if its time for your heart to change as well.

[Dinnye001]

Leave and run the fuck away. Islam converts are prone to radicalisation.

[Asker]

He is not sure about this decision yet

[kimmi862]

Yeah. Treat him with respect and not through stereotypes. Not many muslim converts get crazy. I have noticed that their teachings are big on love but obviously terrorists have made muslims look bad.

[Esther5234]

I know this post is old but I would love to know what happened and what you did? I am currently going through this myself 6 years deep into a relationship, we are engaged and trying to start a family. I am so conflicted and feel like my relationship is changing and I have no control. Its like do you follow your head or your heart. I have nothing against Islam but him changing from being a Christian to a Muslim means we have different beliefs, no celebrating birthdays, or Christmas, having to check every restaurant and holidays we go to for halal meat, friends and family cooking meals differently, drinking on your own.. etc Things that I never signed up for when he proposed. Yes I still love him but these things cause tension almost every day. its not as simple as people say " well you love him and he's not changed" That might be correct, but the things you once enjoyed together are no more and tbh I do feel like his personality has changed, he used to be the life and soul of the party, he doesn't socialize much with his non muslim friends either.

[HGG3805]

He is off on a path that may not be the path you would desire to be on. You need to be real clear as to what he expects from you. If it is you need to convert be very clear as to what you would have to do. If you are not a religious person I would say he has chosen the other path on this fork in the road.

[MindYourEyes]

Real question is are you okay with all that he is doing now? Do you love him enough to stay around that? Is he willing to accept that you aren't and won't be religious?

[Asker]

I really don't know i'm still shocked and maybe a little sad since yesterday. He said that he is not sure about anything yet

[MindYourEyes]

If he's unsure sounds like it isn't worth sticking around. I mean that's just me. I'd rather be with someone that knows what he wants and that I'd be okay with.
But maybe you just need a little time and patience and see where he's going with all this. Then you can decide if you can accept it.

[PrincessBunBuns]

If you truly loved him then you wouldn't care. It's not even that his personality is changing, just his morals. Wow.

[Asker]

I love him and we've been through a lot together. I said that i'm not going to ask him to change his decision but i'm confused if i should leave or stay if it didn't work out anymore.

[Cammy137]

@Alice993 i'll sign up if that happens!

@kimmi863 Actually, it was found that in Islamic countries the majority of Muslims held extremist beliefs. This wasn't always related to suicide bombing but that was one example that came up. Mercy killing was one, apostasy being punishable by death, etc. So yes, stereotypes do exist and I've only ever met kind-hearted Muslims who are nothing like the stereotypes... but thats not to say that Islam isn't a disease that is turning people into criminals

[kimmi862]

And it's the small number of terrorists who are killing other muslims in those countries. If you ask a proper Muslim about ISIS, they react to it with anger because they do not agree with their beliefs. ISIS has even bombed mosques. Not all muslims are terrorists. It's like me assuming that all loner white American males will do a mass shooting (and bear in mind that mass murders have killed more americans than terrorism though we should never condone any of them.) I've lived in a huge Muslim area in Australia some time ago. I noticed a few cultural things that I was a fan of but were not a major issue; but I also noticed their goodness as well.

[Cammy137]

My point wasn't about terrorism or ISIS. It was about the majority opinion of extremist views in Islamic countries.

[kimmi862]

yeah i agree

[sawno]

Separate it from the religion and judge him on his own behavior.
If the person he becomes as a result of the religion is no longer the person you love you should leave and consider him gone.
If he is the same person despite agreeing with the Islamic views and you can still love him stay.

[smilealways19]

Transforming into another religion is a big thing and islamic traditions are quite different. i think it's not a good idea. your parents should obey it. if your love is deep then you can go for it. if not, just leave him coz it's not a small thing.

[Asker]

Have you ever been through something like this? My boyfriend and i are together since 6 years and we've been through a lot together.

[smilealways19]

never really. i have lived in between islamic people most of my life. their culture is different. they have huge families. wives are not decision makers. they remain silent. women have to follow the rules strictly. one thing i can say is, you can't live liberally unlike what you're having now. but, they're polite and respect others. they trust others wholeheartedly.

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t kiss you, stop drinking and stop having sex because he want to preserve you. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t like, it means he respect you. Islam forbid people from doing so because women are precious. You can’t have a boyfriend who can touch all your body and when both of you are seperated, you get another one who will do the same. This man is trying to be pure and only have sex and kiss you when the you become his own ( his wife ). This is not only about Islam, but also others religion believe the same things.
If you truly love him, I would suggest you to give him time until you get married so you can do the things you want. He has no right to force you or to impose you to become something or change your status.

[Asker]

But i don't want to get married and we've had sex before for 6 years and he was my first but now he just don't want to touch me! It doesn't make any sense!😓

[Opinion Owner]

“ He just don’t want touch me” If he covert to Islam, he won’t touch you until you become his wife. If you don’t want to get married, then I would suggest you to leave him because when he get convert, he will leave all the forbidden and try to find someone who is willing to form a family with him. If he start regretting sins he has done, kissing and having sex before marriage will be among his regrets. If you don’t agree with what he’s doing, then you should leave before you get hurt because he won’t change his mind after he convert.

[Anonymous]

He is finding God and that's a positive thing. He is finding his morals and trying to be a good man. It's a good thing islam has lead him to stop drinking because alcohol is not healthy anyways. However, the physical intimacy thing is something special so that it is done only with married couples in islam. Why don't you sit down and talk to him about it or let him explain islam to you and what it means to him so you can understand.

[Anonymous]

Are you still thinking? You dumb just block that shit and move on.
ISLAM is not a religion, its Just Copied from all religions and pasted into Quran with a lot of mistakes. Even their Prophet is Rapist and thief he married had sex with Ayesha at an age 6 when he was 54. It is hard to imagine people knowing this very well still consider him to be Prophet of God. Muhammad according to Muslims is a role model for whole mankind till the end of time, if he tries this stunt today he will be behind bars for life for child molestation. Muslims try to brush this off by saying she got menstruations at age 9, so it was ok to have sex with her, as menstruation was the criteria to have sex at that time.

[MeutiaArianti]

Hmm, I thought she was 9 and not 6. Hey, why should you give the opinion anonymously? Afraid that your identity will be seen and people will judge you? I don't know if I have the right to say this, but you are being judgmental and hyperbolic just now. From references I've got, I can score that you're not educated enough to say things like that. Why, I thought people like you pro anti-discrimination? LOL

[Opinion Owner]

@MeutiaArianti Yes you are correct, I fear of some Islam dog my blast my ass...

[Anonymous]

Having a relationship with the different faith, believer and un-believer, is hard. There is always one who feel hurt. Or both part. If you stay with him but doesn't support him 100%, i think, it will breaks his heart at the time. If you want to leave him now, just don't cut the friendship. He needs a support from someone. Converting to a religion is never easy.

[jacquesvol]

Wait to see if he persists. If he persists, it's time to move on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I5cPOcsvIs

[YHL6965]

EJECT! EJECT! There are plenty of stories where men convinced their girlfirend to Islam to marry in their country. Once there, they basically became slaves, forced to wear veils and abused by their husband.

[kbharadwaj3125]

Depends on his mindset. If he changes drastically. Then leave. If he is a bit liberal then you may continue.

[LMSwastheanswer]

You should embrace Islam together with your boyfriend. Islam is the future.

[Alice993]

No it is not.

[LMSwastheanswer]

@Alice993 It is the future of Europe at least.

[jiacomoc]

No is not. Tha fact that y'all dont wear condoms doesn't make you the future

[Alice993]

Why do you think it's the future of Europe though?

@jiacomoc true ^^u

[LMSwastheanswer]

@Alice993 Because there are more and more Muslims in Europe. Soon White people will be outnumbered by them and will have to convert to islam to stay alive.

[Asker]

I will never be religious..

[Alice993]

I'm not converting to a religion because some people outnumber me.
They just reproduce like rats and infect countries.

[jiacomoc]

Wow.. good one the fact that "white people" are good enough to accept refugees and allow you to live in a country wihout subjecting you to their culture, religion and customs shows intelegence and a good civil standard. You saying that you multiple so "white" people will have to convert to survive makes you an animal litterally you think the law of the jungle applies here. And if that's it i guess you are very weak my friends beacuse the animals that reproduce the most are the weakest and they need it for their survival. #endofrant-youignorat

[Asker]

@jiacomoc you two should stop arguing over this! It's not worth it and i didn't ask because i want to argue with someone over this topic... There's no need to force your beliefs on someone it's some simple.

[jiacomoc]

Im not arguing or forcing. But i will like to express my thoughts

[Alice993]

If Islam will take over Europe I'll start a resistance group and all the Islamic people can experience terror attacks themselves.

[kimmi862]

@Alice993 hmmmmm... muslims are not terrorists. 20% of Arabs are muslims. The highest number of muslims are in Asia; Indonesia being the largest population of muslims. 48% of Africans are muslims. I know man amazing muslims here in Australia... gosh I even had a gay muslim flatmate. Stereotypes are what divide us... and so you know; its terrorists who are murdering a lot of muslims in the middle east and Africa. If all muslims were terrorists we'd all be dead by now.

[LMSwastheanswer]

@Alice993 I am a White guy and ready to embrace islam when there are too many Muslims here.

[Alice993]

Please don't tell me I shouldn't be islamophobic.
To be honest I think that not all Muslims are terrorists but Islam is raised on radical beliefs.
For example the sharia law.
Where I'm from there are a lot of refugees that think they have the right to use me as a sex object because I'm a woman and you cannot change my opinion.

[LMSwastheanswer]

@Alice993 You need to accept being viewed like this. Islam will win, there is no point denying it.

[Alice993]

I will not let some retarded idiots win because they're not capable of using birth control.
Islam will not win.

[LMSwastheanswer]

@Alice993 White people have become too soft to fight Muslims.

[Alice993]

I didn't.

[englisc]

I'm dead against the Islamification of Europe, but I agree that it's probably gonna happen because white people have been so brainwashed and dumbed down. They don't understand that Muslims have on average 4-5 children per woman while we have an average of 1.3 per woman. That will lead to Muslims outnumbering non-Muslims, and of course they'll change whatever country they're in to fit in with their religion.

@jiacomoc - your argument is weak because it's about fairness. Calling them weak, animals etc. because they want to do that despite white people accepting refugees (because they're so naive) makes no difference, the end result will be the same because people like you don't get it. Nature doesn't care about right or wrong, fairness etc.

[slatyb]

He won't even kiss you? Sounds like it's already over. This is not what you signed up for, and it's clearly not what you want. Find a nice non-religious guy. There are lots of them hoping to meet a non-religious girl.

[cinderelli]

this is a tough situation.. but if you're not religious and he's becoming more and more religious.. I don't think it's gonna work out.. I was raised Muslim.. but I am not religious and even I don't wanna be with someone who is religious...

[KyoShirogane]

Why would you left someone just because they change their religion? Well of course if you only want to have a boyfriend then leave him. If you really love him then you need to support him.

[anametouse]

Personally I wouldn't stay, especially if he was headed down a radical view of Islam. The beliefs or morals he might take upon his code should be observed. If he starts demanding you cover up, well, that should be your red flag to escape.

[Wurdom]

There's something wrong with the way he thinks. I would break up. Next thing you know he'll order you to wear a hijab.

[Asker]

I'm not going to wear that or be religious and he knows about it