Search Results: giving up on love

A few years ago, a high school friend created a dating profile for me on a website since she wanted to see me with a boyfriend (i know, weird). Anyway, I used the profile and started chatting it up with a few men, some I even know today. One guy, in particular, liked me a lot, even though I wasn't too keen on him at first. I entertained him since I was bored, but I eventually developed feelings for him. I did break it off with him because he lived 3 hours away from me, gave off very aggressive vibes, and I started to like someone closer by. Over time, he was on my mind, and we did text each other occasionally, but it was very short convos. He even wrote many poems about how heartbroken he was that I ended that online long-distance thing with him too.

Fast forward to recently, he told me he was joining the military and wanted to pursue me again. I was interested and was thinking about him frequently while he was at boot camp. Right after he came back, we texted like usual, and everything was fine until he wanted to make a last-minute trip to see me before leaving the country. I had to decline and that changed the dynamic of the relationship a little bit. A few weeks later, he informed me that he had gotten a girl pregnant. I immediately cut contact with him since he betrayed me somewhat. Now, he's texting me frequently and calling, claiming that he loves me still and cannot die without giving "us" a chance. He knew what he did was wrong and apologized for his mistakes to the point he doesn't think about anything sexual anymore as often as he once did. Do you think it is worth it to pursue a relationship with him with all of this information or should i let him be? I don't want to waste time in a toxic relationship.

My boyfriend and I have been long-distance dating for closer to 4 years, and it's been a rollercoaster for many reasons. But, recently, we both finally had an opportunity to spend a night together at a hotel and enjoy ourselves. As soon as we walked in since I had not seen him for some time, he wanted sex. I wanted to do it as well because, mentally, I thought it would be fun for us both. However, while we were doing it, he kept telling me not to take my shirt off and other stuff that seemed distant. He finished and was quiet, giving a stand-offish vibe afterwards. I kept asking him what the issue was, and he insisted it was nothing. Finally, once I got ready for the event he wanted to go to, he stated that he was worried about my health since I had gotten "bigger."

My weight has fluctuated a lot throughout the years in early adulthood, especially with working and college. When we met, I was on the smaller side, but it was an unhealthy time for me, hardly eating. I got on the hormonal IUD for him, and that caused me to gain a lot of weight.

I started crying and asked if he was ashamed of me, if he was still wanting me in that way, the works basically because of my body. He apologized a while later about it, and admitted saying that I deserve better which was also weird. I'm not sure how to really feel or go about this since he is health-crazy and wants to make sure I live a long life with him. However, his behavior did not match up to what he was saying. I mentioned it to a few friends to which they said that he might have seen better and now has a desire for that, or he's using health as a scapegoat to cover up his lack of wanting me now. What do you think? I'm afraid he doesn't find me attractive anymore but the weight is mainly because of him wanting this birth control in me. Do you think he is just using me for sex/companionship? Does he actually love me?