You have it so easy, blondie.
And I also have heard it many times, that
Being blessed with the right, beautiful and fit genes, all you gotta do is cruise seamlessly through life.
... is what many people think or even say out aloud when they meet me. But is that really so? Beware: this myTake will not spare you from the details!
The stereotypes
In today's society many, either desperate or not desperate person think that women, who have the right looks can just simply bypass all the obstacles that are given to the average. Not to mention that they can just do everything half the effort, since people are there readily to help them out. But is that really so? And are these women really blessed in such a way as it seems for the first sight?
My story
Believe it or not, but every person has their own problems, sadness or sorrow. Even when you can't tell by looking at them Let's discuss my story. In fact, I am also cursed with (unusual) medical problems that I must cope even up to day.
Dyslexia
Right. You probably heard the term. What does it mean in practice? Well I am deadly sure you didn't want to be in my place in school when I had to read texts out lout in front of class. I missed so many letters, words. I wish I didn't have those moments. That really made me sweat. Even today I read text half the speed as others. And it gets awkward when I miss a word of "not" , somehow my eyes seem to skip words sometimes.
Poor math and concentration skills
I don't even know if there's a better, yet not derogatory term for this. I wish I didn't have to just slightly pass math classes. I've always had to do hard effort because there was always the one tiny operation where I confused an addition for a subtraction addition. Or a 6 to an 8.
In addition it usually give me a hard task to remember things the precisely the way it was told and this is very painful in the business world. I also have very bad skills when planning routes at driving even though living at my place here for so many years. Awful.
Hemorrhagia
This hormonal illness (hate this word) is likely not a familiar word to you if you are born in one half of the society (female), and you are lucky if you don't have to deal with it. Long story short, it means extreme blood loss on (monthly) periods. Yeah, I know, disgusting topic, right? Excuse me anyway... 🩸
What does it mean though? Imagine, since the age of 12, having to rush to replace your pad 1.5 or 2 hours latest. Exams, sports class or important events or being in the middle of the forest are not an excuse. Plus having to use the bulkiest and thickest products available, or else ending up in accident (girls know this). Using up 1️⃣6️⃣ (S I X T E E N) pads a single day sounds unrealistic? Well to me it is rather the average. And all this lasts for at least 5-7 days straight plus regular doctor checkups is not a fairy tale trust me. And I can't even use pills since all this originates of a hormonal imbalance. And I can't even use anything other than single-use pads due to tons of allergies that I have. What's more, the only way for me to escape period pains is to exercise. Running, gym, whatever.
Incontinence
You thought it couldn't get worse? Wrong! Here I am coming out.... in the last year or months I just have collected this one more curse to my arsenal. Despite my young age, I essentially have difficulties holding my pee. Whaaat?! Yeah... no comments to say here. Except that next time you fantasize about my leather enclosed thighs or underwear mind that actually it might not be a victoria secret panties but rather a plastic diaper, or, when panties, then is trying real hard to hold a massively huge pad. 😅
That's right, I was wearing one even when my avatar and cover image was made. Don't believe me? Take a sneak peek at my stash. Sorry guys for the disappointment! 😁
Overcoming all these miserable things in my life
So, you might wonder, how self-blaming this has made me. I felt so ashamed for all the problem I couldn't do anything about. I even blamed myself for all the trash I produced, because, let's be honest, using all this day-to-day really kills the planet! 🗡🌍
You really are who you stamp yourself to be
Over the years I realized, that I get much worse reception from others, when I get anxious. When I don't stretch myself and I don't speak standing up tall with self confidence. It is really difficult to describe, that in the moment I started to value myself, my self confidence actually went through the roof.
So how to get started?
Regardless you consider yourself
- ugly
- fat
- clumsy voiced
- just yucky
remember, that your image in others eyes' will really be whatever way you present yourself to be. Focus on your success things, or even by talking about the efforts you commit. Think about it: people are so more amazed by those overweight people who take the effort to get out and to their 5km/h "jogging". It is just more impressive to see them trying their best to get out of the pit they life in, than professional athletes running at the speed of light.
People focus the things you actually present to them.
You are okay the way you are
Cliché, I know. But trust me, I also had to develop this state of mind.
- It's okay to have reading difficulties. It is fine to tell them that you need more time to read due to your dyslexia related issues. They will understand and it is much better than repeatedly asking for "sorry".
- It is okay to ask for assistance if you don't understand something. You wouldn't believe how many trivial things there that's obvious to you, but not to others. And you're also happy to help, aren't you?
- It is okay explain them that you must often take a stop due to womanly issues, or just call 'em Aunt Flo. You will be surprised to see how understanding and supporting people will be!
- Don't blame yourself for problems you can do nothing against and are not your fault. Blame (and punish (see garbage truck gif haha)... ok maybe not 😅) mother nature for bringing you the clumsy genes!
- Personally for me: it is okay to privately tell a trip leader about your incontinence problems. They'll be assistive to remind you about the upcoming "facilities" if they know more about your situation.
- It's okay to ask your sibling (even brother) to check if your pad or diaper is showing
You are not your problems. Your problems are things you cope with, but those are not you
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