Learn to Love Yourself

Learn to love yourself first, instead of loving the idea of other people loving you.

Start telling yourself what you love about yourself

In your own life it’s important to know how spectacular you are. You really have to look in the mirror and be kind. Because what we see in the mirror is often what we see in the world. Our disappointment in others, our acceptance of others, our ability to see potential in others, out patience with others often reflects all of this within ourselves. You’ve got to show yourself some love first and foremost.

^)  Learn to Love Yourself  (^

Be one with what is

Something that’s really difficult, but worth it, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the journey of becoming your true self. The most beautiful part of this journey is simply returning to the peaceful feeling of being. You will have to retrain your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.

Focus less on winning the approval of others

Remind yourself that you don’t have to do what everyone else is doing. You don’t have to get permission to do it differently either. As the saying goes, “What you do today is important, because you are exchanging a day of your life for it.” Don’t wait around for someone else to give you permission to live.

Distance yourself from those who bring you down

Being in no relationship is better than being in a wrong one. Don’t worry too much about people who don’t worry about you. Know your worth! When you give yourself to those who disrespect you, you lose. Your friends in life should motivate, inspire and respect you. Keep it tight. Quality over quantity, always.

Forgive your past self

You should confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with forgiveness. It’s just a matter of accepting that sometimes good people like you make bad choices. It doesn’t mean you’re bad; it means you’re human. Forgive yourself for what you think you did or didn’t do, and focus on what you will do starting now.

Start making the changes you know you need to make

Just because something made you happy in the past doesn’t mean you have to keep it forever. If you want to see changes in your life today, you’ll have to do things that you’ve never done before. Different input = different output. Move away from the things that drain you and move toward the thoughts and activities that empower and fulfill you.

Embrace the mistakes you haven’t even made yet

To be successful in the long run, you must fail sometimes. Don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision prevent you from making any decision at all.

Show gratitude for who you are and what you have right now

No, you won’t always get what you want. And no, you won’t always be exactly where you want to be. But remember this: There are lots of people who will never have what you have right now. So use pain, frustration and inconvenience to motivate you rather than annoy you.

Do something every day that makes you happy

There’s a big difference between empty fatigue and gratifying exhaustion. Life is too short. Invest in the activities you deeply care about. A good life is about making a good decision every day to do something that moves you – caring for yourself by doing things you care about. It’s a matter of realizing that there’s nothing selfish about self-care.

Give yourself a fair chance to explore new ideas and opportunities

Don’t let not knowing how it’ll end keep you from beginning. When we act, uncertainty forces us into the open where opportunity awaits.

Listen to your intuition and be honest with yourself about everything

We cannot speak with integrity about a lifestyle we are not living. We don’t need more glorified storytellers; we need more genuine ones. Listen to that inner voice. Confidence comes from knowing that what you’re doing is right, and that what you’re doing is right for YOU.

Believe in your abilities

All things are possible! The key is to identify what you want, claim it as part of who you are, and believe that you are worthy to have it.

Focus on writing your story, instead of reading, watching and hearing about everyone else’s

And when you catch yourself comparing your life to someone else’s, remember that people often only show their highlight reel – not their reality.

Pay close attention to your life as you’re living it

One of the greatest presents you can give yourself, is to be present, every chance you get. Distractions are in the palms of our hands these days, but we need to remember to look up more often. So much is lost when we don’t.

Loosen up and be a little less serious about it all

All self-misery has its roots in self-pity, and all self-pity is rooted in taking life too seriously. If you take everything too seriously, especially yourself, you’ll wind up fearing every new step you take. Loosen up and laugh it off when you can – especially when things don’t go as planned. People with a good sense of humor have a better sense of life. You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself and your circumstances.

Go out of your way to be loving and kind to others too

Almost everything comes full circle. People who love themselves come across as very caring, generous and kind to others too; they express their self-confidence through humility, forgiveness and inclusiveness. So seek to understand others before you attempt to judge. And be thankful for rude, difficult people too – they serve as great reminders of how not to be.


All of these things aren't to be taken generally.

I always think this is implied, but then the attackers come who can't wait to point out the fact that not all of these (or any other) points can apply to everyone. They don't apply to everyone, how could they? It's a subjectively objective myTake. Take it or leave it.

LittleSally is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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Most Helpful Guy

  • “Start telling yourself what you love about yourself”
    Eh, I don’t have much but I’m fine with myself.

    “Be one with what is”
    Yeah, I’ve never had the illusion that I’m perfect.

    “Focus less on winning the approval of others”
    Well I don’t really have anyone to give approval to me.

    “Distance yourself from those who bring you down
    Being in no relationship is better than being in a wrong one”
    As someone with no relationship or friends, I disagree. You don’t know true lonelines. I for one am certain that even when I had my bad days with my friends back when I had them, I still felt generally better than being alone.

    “Forgive your past self”
    Nothing much to forgive. But plenty to improve upon.

    “Start making the changes you know you need to make”
    This I agree with. I have several things to do – becoming social is one of them. But first things first is to find out how to actually do them.

    “Show gratitude for who you are and what you have right now”
    Ha, lol nope. I wouldn’t wish my situation to anyone.

    “Do something every day that makes you happy”
    Spending time with friends would probably make me happy but I do spend time with my little bro so I have that going for me, which is nice.

    “Give yourself a fair chance to explore new ideas and opportunities”
    I’m very cautious.

    “Believe in your abilities”
    This I agree with. No point in trying if you don’t belive in yourself. Something I learned by myself.

    “Focus on writing your story, instead of reading, watching and hearing about everyone else’s”
    A readable story about me would be possible only when I achieve my goals. If I were to write one now, it’d be pretty dull.

    “Loosen up and be a little less serious about it all”
    I have a problem with this one. Being serious is exactly what gets me through day to day. I simply can not ‘loosen up’ because me doing so would be reduntant. What am I supposed to loosen up to? With whom? How? Loosening up implies being carefree and enjoying the moment but how does one do that all by themselves when there’s nothing much to enjoy (well nothing grand to be precise) and nobody to enjoy it with? Trying to loosen up would make me even more aware of how things aren’t the best (avoiding the term ‘suck’ because I’m trying to not be bitter (but it’s hard)) and thus the only way for me to stay strong and void heartache is to be serious. One can’t deal with negative feelings being carefree in my opinion.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Nice take.
    Though I can tell from experience that it's way easier said than done. But some of these were really good points.

    • Tell me about it... It's a struggle and work that has to be done every day. O. o

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What Guys Said 10

  • You really write very good takes. I dig it :)

  • Wow, that's a must read article for sure.

  • Another great myTake! 👍🏻 Most of the takes I could relate to were from you.

  • This was a beautiful take, thank you for sharing it.
    As someone struggling to improve himself I've thought of practically everything listed here and you put it all together in a mytake. Good job!

  • It was soooo longgggg but worth the read 👍

  • That picture is powerful!

    • Which one?

    • Show All
    • Sorry if my "humor" was a little crass. I was in a good mood and I forgot I wasn't talking to a friend. May I ask what inspired you to write this take?

    • Haha No problem. =)
      I wrote a MyTake before on signs of not loving yourself so this was the opposite spectrum of that - on how to help yourself love who you are. A user on here asked me to write it.

  • Well done!

  • Actually, I think it's much better to simply forget about one's self entirely. sin-and-love.deviantart.com/.../The-Screwtape-Letters-14-558739101

  • good take. you improve.

  • No doubt you are an editor!


What Girls Said 6

  • I don't really focus on myself as my family and career is important, especially when I can easily throw my goals away. Can't say I follow close to half of those guidelines, but there are a few that listed to keep me sane. That's a insightful take but I feel like that is applied to younger people or at least the mentality.

  • 1|0
  • beautiful.

  • People have to love and respect themself. İt doesn't matter what others say about you. Great work, thanks for sharing! :)

  • Great myTake! :)

  • Good advice! Thank you :)