Distracting yourself with hobbies isn't enough: How the way you mourn your ex determines the likelihood that you will run back to him

Bethany22

How many of you women break up with men who didn't measure up to your standards personality-wise, just to find yourself regretting breaking up with him, whereby the next thing you know, you're coming back with your tail between your legs trying to get back with him? This situation often leads to embarrassing situations, whereby you either find out that he has already moved on, or now that you're back together, he has less respect for you because he knows you can't get anyone better (at least from his perspective). Obviously, both of these situations are not fun, and at the very most you're now remember why you broke up with him in the first place.

So now, instead of telling you how to get over your ex simply by telling you to become busy with hobbies, I will tell you specifically to get over him by boring yourself to death with the hobbies that he would find interesting but that bores you to tears. This helps bring you back to reality of who it really was that you just left. So, going through the list of ways I usually mourn my ex boyfriends, I will tell you why that's destructive, and what you can do instead:

Bad habits of women when mourning their exes that winds up making their ex look better in hindsight:

  • Listening to sad love songs: If you listen to these songs in order to mourn your ex, at least make sure that they are songs that he also likes. That way, you don't have to worry about associating the sad, innocent, empathetic melodies and words with a guy that wouldn't be caught dead listening to. I've often made this mistake, and this mistake winds up making me think my ex had good intentions despite everything, all because of the songs I decided to listen to to get over him! So whatever music you listen to to cope, make sure it's music that he would listen to in order to give you more perspective.
  • Watching romantic movies/tv shows: Same as with the music, don't watch anything that he wouldn't want to watch, as the male characters in these shows may have different perspectives on love and romance than he does. If you do watch them, often what winds up happening is you start to think that your ex boyfriend has many similarities with the sensitive men on the shows, and you start to think about how important relationships and family are. Not that your ex boyfriend doesn't believe in those things, but it's better to watch movies that he likes to watch with those elements in them, like Captain America. That way, you get the more realistic experience of having to sit through mostly action and violence that you're never even going to remember as soon as the movie is over, in order to be rewarded by those few scenes of him and the love of his life. I don't know about you, but as soon as I watch action movies like that, I immediately become more down to Earth about my expectations for how relationship oriented my boyfriends are. Like, obviously the Marvel heroes are capable of romance, but it's not the whole movie, in as much the same way as men in real life.
  • Going clothes shopping: I don't know about you, but despite the fact that I never see men shopping for clothes in malls (unless their girlfriends have dragged them there), I wind up using that alone time to reflect on how wonderful my ex was. Something about the bright lights, the high ceilings, shiny floors, and food courts, provides a similar mood in me as watching chic flics that my ex would never be caught dead watching. I mean, when you're admiring how clean and shiny the mall floors are, isn't it a bit hard to remember how often you had to beg your ex to pitch in with the house cleaning? And the bright lights shining down on you, giving you that feeling of being cherished in that way that you had always hoped he would start doing again? So with that said, instead of going to your ideal public setting as a way of coping with your ex, go to a public place that HE would go to. Possibilities include playing pool, paint balling, or a boardgames meetup.
Distracting yourself with hobbies isnt enough: How the way you mourn your ex determines the likelihood that you will run back to him
Distracting yourself with hobbies isn't enough: How the way you mourn your ex determines the likelihood that you will run back to him
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