When you’re close to losing someone you used to love, do you start to reminisce like crazy?

[DizzyDesii]

One of my exes got shot last night and all I keep thinking about is our last hug yet I can't even remember if that was this year or last year. The years are going to fast. He’s an ICU and we don’t know if he’ll make it but I’m hopeful. He’s definitely changed from the man I once fell for, but he was trying to get back on the right track and even saved a kid from a bullet while he took 2. I really hope he’s okay because I hope to see his sweet smile again. He’s one of the few exes who never ended up on my bad side but I never could allow myself to fall for him again. To think it started with a punch to his balls in vacation bible school to him becoming my first “I love you” after I escaped that first boyfriend/psycho ex. I don't know I just want him to be okay. No matter if I open or close my eyes, all I see is his face rn... I can’t stop reminiscing and my head hurts

#FeelFreeToList #StaySafe

Updates

+1 y

Haven’t been to church in about 2 years but I’d like to be able to hug him again once I return. I just need him to be alive and well. My head is pounding and its getting hard to keep smiling/laughing through the pain
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I_5WQNm0nvc
c.tenor.com/sWyJSZPGPX4AAAAd/im-fine-fine.gif

Updates

+1 y

So both shooters have now been captured without bond. One news report update says my boy is in critical but stable condition. I’m a bit confused as to how it can be both critical and stable but all i know is they are basically saying he’s alive and hopefully stays alive and gets well 🙏🥺

[Th3ft]

Oh Desii I am so sorry! If you don’t mind where did he get hit? You said he took two bullets?

i can’t suggest that he will be fine and I 100% do not believe that the Bible teaches anything about life being easy or that if we just have faith everything gets better. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason. If you knew him from church I would Guess that that might well mean that he is going to heaven. And if he can’t pull through I hope and prey that he is there for you when you get there. But either way I have to believe that there is something good that can come from it. Perhaps he will come through this just fine and this will just be a lesson for someone. Another thing I can confidently tell you is that the only way to make it through the trauma of losing someone is to trust God’s strength in every moment. He’s got you and your friend and he is HOLDING ON for life! For eternity actually!

[DizzyDesii]

In the neck but I don't know where the other bullet struck

[Th3ft]

Gotcha! That is pretty scary then for sure!

[Th3ft]

Oh good to hear! And I wonder if they meant to say that he was still in ICU… but stabilizing.

[DizzyDesii]

Idkk

[Th3ft]

Thank For the MHO!

[DizzyDesii]

They showin the little bastards that shot my boy on the news. They talkin bout if the investigator doesn't get paperwork together by Friday, they get to be released on $25,000 bond. Fcked up

[Th3ft]

Holy fuck!!! How is that possible? I mean that is a lot of money but still shit!

[DizzyDesii]

If they turn out to be drug dealers they can make that in a week

[Th3ft]

Well and they very well maybe…

[Th3ft]

It seems so wrong that they can get out with just two days or so in the slammer for turning themselves in.

[RavVid]

That is tough. There isn't good anybody can say other we hope for you.

[RavVid]

Hope your ex is out of danger now and you are less worried

[DizzyDesii]

Unfortunately haven't gotten a further update

[RavVid]

Does without bond mean they don't have bail or they have bail on their own recognizance? we don't use the term bond so unsure. I would hope they are in jail til tried.

Hope the critical becomes non-critical.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea they are basically not allowed bail bt turned themselves in thinking they’d get it

[RavVid]

OK got it now.

[DizzyDesii]

They showin the little bastards that shot my boy on the news. They talkin bout if the investigator doesn't get paperwork together by Friday, they get to be released on $25,000 bond. Fcked up

[ChrisMaster69]

Really sorry what you are going through, I can imagine the pain and emotional anguish.

i historically suck with loss of someone I love, my just rips in to me and pulls out raw memories, ones I had forgot, ones I wish I had and ones I loved,

I then tend to just throw myself off a cliff,

I stayed over at my Ex wife’s the other day, I had a night of remembering all the memories, photos of us both, but also I had a night of remembering the nearly a year of pain following our divorce. A lot of that I had thought was buried but like all things it just ripped open with raw memories.

anyhow I hope things work out for him,

[DizzyDesii]

Im trying to stay in an upbeat mood since i have no word on his results. Are you going to consider reuniting with her or does the pain of the divorce ruin everything all over again?

[ChrisMaster69]

@DizzyDesii nah we divorced amicably, I just did not handle it well as it was my idea. The divorce it’s self was painless, zero cost, it was life after it that caused me to lose myself, sort of sex, drugs n alcohol

[DizzyDesii]

Well i hope you’ve found yourself and have been making a full recovery 🙏

[ChrisMaster69]

@DizzyDesii yeah since then, found myself lost myself, found again. Now just thrown myself off a new cliff of my own making.

[DizzyDesii]

But what makes it hard to stay motivated? Like after losing myself in one relationship, i just can't stay down for long. I repair myself that same week through music, movies, casinos, artwork, etc

[ChrisMaster69]

@DizzyDesii inner demons,

https://youtu.be/jix-u8h4KEU

That sums it up

[Lliam]

Wow. I hope your friend recovers, Des.

I know what you're saying. There's only one ex that I don't care about. I have a soft spot in my heart for the rest.

There was one particular girlfriend who I wound up loving with my heart and soul. After living together for over a year, we separated for reasons that are too complicated to go into.
Almost 20 years later, she reconnected with me on Facebook and we talked a few times on the phone. We couldn't be life partners but my love for her never diminished and I was really happy to be connected as good friends and to know that she was doing well.
Five years later, I read that she had died from a sudden medical problem at the age of 55. I was shattered. I think of her all the time and my heart breaks to know that she is no longer here. I wish that I could see or hear from her one last time.

[DizzyDesii]

Even though all my exes pissed me off in some way, I dont want any of them to die. Maybe break a leg but not die. Eitjer way, i dont wish bad on any of em. Im not the type to wish them happiness but i do wish they stay alive and well. Its just really hitting with this one because up until the pandemic, we saw eachother every Sunday at church. I’ll never forget his smile. And im soooo sorry you actually lost yours. I really dont wanna be in the “what if” position. I hate you didn't get to talk to her again. I was at peace just knowing when I die and make it to heaven, I’ll get to see Paul Walker but now the thought of my dude possibly being gone too. Just nah. Its hard to think optimistically rn

[LovingLoverReturned]

Permanent loss or break up? For permanent loss I Stress rather than reminisce.

I hope your ex will be alright.

...

Just yesterday I was saying, exes (who didn't harm us or we don't hate them) remain just like any other person in a relationship, friend, teacher, family who distanced, .. we never stop admiring the good in someone we used to know. It doesn't mean we are in love nor that they are perfect.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i mean like permanent loss as in death/death scare. And yea i agree that i def always felt he was goodhearted and could never stay mad at him

[Hulk30]

ill start by sayin that im a virgo and i understand that as a virgo and an aspie for that matter that im not the most likable person but i definitely look to be respected over bein loved in my opinion the most hated signs which i can understand why they are tend to be in this order 1. geminis 2. virgos 3. scorpios. 4. leos and id say typical to most virgos there's a certain coldness vicious temper as well as psychopathy to em which i can definitely see in myself so i'd say it really depends on how 1 of my ex treated me im not sayin i want em dead but if they dogged me ill admit it's a mary j. blidge not goin cry type situation simultaneously

[DizzyDesii]

I dont care about zodiacs anymore. I stopped foolin with that stuff

[Hulk30]

that's cool it's our right to move how we wanna

[JoseJr]

I think thats like most thing. I personally haven't lost anyone close to me. I have seen some people I know pass away, it did make me feel some kind of way but besides that I didn't think about it too much. Plus I personally live in a high high crime/murder rate area. I've kinda become used to it truth be told.

[DizzyDesii]

Well that's the first time someone i’ve known and deeply cared for has gotten hurt

[JoseJr]

Im sure it probably has you feeling some kinda of way. Im sure I'd probably be feeling some kinda way too if I was facing the same situation. But truth be told like most old fashioned dads, mine told me to keep my emotions in and truth be told I follow that mentality. I know that it isn't a light situation, but you know we all hope he's in a better place now.

[DizzyDesii]

Dude he's not dead. he's in ICU

[JoseJr]

Oh my bad I didn't read that right, Love and prayers

[AimeeKyle]

I haven’t lost anyone that I have dated / cared for yet (that I know of). I do think it is normal to reminisce about someone you have cared for if they are in a bad place or nearing the end (whether you dated them or not).

Sounds like he is in the process of turning things around…. hopefully he gets the change to complete his efforts. Prayers.

[DizzyDesii]

I hope so as well. Im trying to avoid old feelings coming back because i just mainly want him to be okay. But the reminiscing is getting to me

[AimeeKyle]

I agree and would definitely be cautious / avoid old feelings as much as possible. As much as you want him to get better, you broke up and moved on for a reason. 🙏

[DizzyDesii]

Well yea cause everytime he tries to get back together, he fails to mention he's still dating the same girl who just made a post saying he’s in pain (but i assume he must be alive and somewhat well? I don't know)

[innerman]

It’s soo saddening and annoying how brittle life is. Sometimes I wonder if we like a movie and the creator and the angels are up there watching and placing bets.


Let’s be nice to each other and pray for one another. I fear being with someone I am about to lose. I dnt know the right things to say. So I always pretend nothings wrong. And just be like, hey, we were supposed to play poker, is the hospital ok, we play in your room.

[_deeznuts]

I'm so sorry that that happened! You'll get through this, and you shouldn't have to force yourself to smile or laugh. Someone that you cared about getting seriously injured isterrible, I get it. Sending love<33

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you 🙏

[_deeznuts]

@update I'm glad the shooters were caught!! It's also great that he's in stable condition, you got this!!!

[DizzyDesii]

Lets hope 🙌

[Harleigh90]

Currently doing this now 💔 Hope your ex recovers well.

The fear of losing them makes you just love all over again

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you :) and how are you doing it now? Whats going on?

[Harleigh90]

@DizzyDesii Just remising on what could of been and some of the best moments. ❤

[JDavid25]

I hope he pulls through Desii.. But I really only have one "ex" and I'm still sorta in contact with her.. She is fine as far as I know..

[DizzyDesii]

I hope he pulls through as well. Someoneposted something about him being in pain but they made it sound like he might be alive at least but I don't know

[JDavid25]

Well, maybe you could check in on him somehow.. I don't know if you were close to his family at all..

[DizzyDesii]

His mom goes to my church but church has been closed for a while. His girl posted something to where i think he's at least alive but I don't know much more. I rather not ask her or the moms directly rn. Plus the suspects are still on the loose so the hospital may have him in hiding

[exitseven]

You really have a few interesting stories. Hope this guy makes it. Somebody who was really close to me was murdered by her husband. It still haunts me to this day.

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you. And Holy smokes! Is he in jail

[exitseven]

no, he killed her then killed himself.

[DizzyDesii]

Fckk

[Loveisgirthy]

WOAH... shit... Yeah something like that would definitely bring me back. I feel for you. I'd hope it can work if it's meant to. I pray he'll be fine. Sounds like he's a good dude fr. You punched his balls tho?

[DizzyDesii]

You’d hope what can work? I wouldn't get back with him. I just want him to be alive and well. And yea i can't remember what he did that made me so mad but i hit him in the balls as a reflex and he fell even harder for me ever since lol

[Loveisgirthy]

Right, okay I get that. Just sounded like you felt something again, but I think I get where you're coming from. I've only ever imagined this scenerio happening with past live interests so. Being hit in the balls by a girl can do some magic things I hear. I was kneed once by a girl, didn't do much for me, but a punch just hits different. I really hope it's going as good as it can in any case.

[Guardian45]

I lost someone I used to love 15 months ago, I reminisced a lot about her. A G@Ger helped me to mourn & grieve her passing and I fell in love again.

From her Death, I was reborn. Thank you, my Friend.

[DizzyDesii]

Im really sorry for your loss

[Guardian45]

Thank you

[Mark987]

All the time.. You think about the good times, crazy, sad. The first time you kissed.. or hooked up. I find breaking up hard.. because you realized the time that was wasted

[DizzyDesii]

Yea but this hits different

[Mark987]

Of course... but the main question is do you reminisce?

[Mark987]

Of course... who doesn't? the time together... the amount of fun... etc

[DizzyDesii]

I didn't until i heard he got shot

[Mark987]

Oh... man.. I am so sorry

[Sparkie460]

I'm really sorry Desii. He is a hero for saving that kid. Dm me his name so we can pray for him and put him on a prayer chain. Remember, I'm here if you want to talk.

[DizzyDesii]

It was apparently his own kid that he moved out the way

[Jerre]

The only girl I ever loved was my fiancé. She was killed 20+ years ago in an auto accident 2 weeks before our wedding. I haven’t loved anyone since, perhaps for fear of losing her.

[DizzyDesii]

I remember you mentioning that. I am still so sorry to hear that :(

[Jerre]

Thank you!

[Phoenix98]

I've never been in that situation so I can't say I would or wouldn't.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea its my first time

[Phoenix98]

Well I hope he'll be ok.

[DizzyDesii]

I hope so too

[Cubus]

I imagine how you feel now. Be strong, Desii

[DizzyDesii]

Im tryin. A part of me wants to be bedside holding his hand but i won't do that to myself. I just hope he's ok

[pizzalovershouse]

No if I did that with all things I wondered if made right desion it make me not able to move on

[Pudsmucker]

Sorry to hear one of your friends got shot trying to save somebody.

[DizzyDesii]

Apparently he was the target but he saved his child

[Valso]

I've never been in such a situation - to lose someone who I used to love.

[DizzyDesii]

Yea this is my first time but hopefully he recovers

[James899]

oh no. that is something so sad to hear. be strong girl. he will be alright soon!

[DizzyDesii]

Yea i grieve in a weird way. Like im numb on the inside but i still find myself smiling and laughing out loud. Not sure if its cause whats on tv or if im just reminiscing happy moments

[James899]

it happens sometimes. i felt the same when suddenly my close friend got a bike accident few years ago. its somethings hurts inside and outside we are being normal.

[DizzyDesii]

Are they alive and well now?

[James899]

No. he is alive in my memories and he is evergreen now.

[DizzyDesii]

🥺🥺

[James899]

Keep doing your works. do something you like the most. please dont be alone, it will take sometime to come out of it. at last life has to move on. This too shall pass!

[DizzyDesii]

Im okay. I cried harder for Paul Walker. But i still dont want anything to happen to him. he's a goodhearted guy deep down

[James899]

Nothing will happen to him! he will be alright soon. sometimes we are just a spectators who can simply sit back and watch out thats happening around us.

[James899]

@DizzyDesii how's he now?

[DizzyDesii]

Unfortunately no word on it. The people who shot him are still on the loose so i’m assuming the immediate fam are freaking out and keeping quiet. I don't know but i’d like to know more. My uncle is closest to his mom so he’ll let me know if he hears anything

[DizzyDesii]

They’re showin the little bastards that shot my boy on the news. They’re talkin about if the investigator doesn't get paperwork together by Friday, they get to be released on $25,000 bond. Thats fcked up. Last i heard, he's in critical but stable condition

[maximumpower]

No. You really need to move on and find another set with whom to associate.

[DizzyDesii]

Dude what are you talking about? Im not in love with the guy anymore. I just dont want him to die

[Alcoholic_Wannabe]

Only if I feel like whatever happened could have been easily avoided.

[SamIam96]

OMG. I'm so sorry about your friend.

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you

[SamIam96]

would you post an update, pls

[DizzyDesii]

haven't gotten one unfortunately

[SamIam96]

We're thinking of you.

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you.

[Anpu23]

I am so sorry, Desii. Hope he is okay!!!

[DizzyDesii]

I hope so too. And i hope you’re feeling okay because I know you’re going through a lot as well

[Anpu23]

Yah, it's good. I've had a couple of day now. We buried him in our back field, and I check on him this morning. The other dogs are still adjusting as well. I cried like a baby when I put him down, the vets won't release the body if you have them do it so... So yah, I drank pretty heavily that night and didn't sleep a wink. But it's getting better... day by day. Thank you for asking

[DizzyDesii]

Anytime 🙏

[Anonymous]

do you live in the ghetto?

[Birdlegs]

Probably not the best time for a question like that

[DizzyDesii]

I feel like she's trying to be funny. And no i do not. He was at a gas station near the church

[Jamie05rhs]

I prayed for you, Desi.

[DizzyDesii]

Thank you

[Jamie05rhs]

You're welcome! 💜

[TrillXHippy]

Hope he survives and I hope you’ll be okay

[DizzyDesii]

Hope so too

[Zolly99999]

Some times I guess

[legalboxers]

not anymore

[DizzyDesii]

:( :(

[eagle1951]

yes!