Do You Ever Stop and Remember The Good Memories You Had With Someone You Loved and Is No Longer Here, Or No Longer In Your Life?

[sage2021]

https://youtu.be/hfaWK291Fr0?si=gW27w54vwOOJ_btq

https://youtu.be/hfaWK291Fr0?si=zfufDwBFDw4kQ0Su

Listening to this beautiful song by Elvis Presley called "Memories" makes me think of all of the priceless wonderful memories I had with my late boyfriend Patrick. He is sorely missed. RIP

Updates

4 mo

https://youtu.be/0EsWYj5iACU?si=inWsiSw9Rxa2lShE

Updates

4 mo

If you tap the link in the update it will play the song now.

[nolabels]

I do.

I'm sorry for the loss of your boyfriend.

I may feel close to where you're at right now.
Maybe not.

My wife of 32 years passed several weeks ago.
RIP Jeanie.

This topic made me think of our song, Van Morrison - Have I Told You Lately

https://www.youtube.com/embed/J789GId1kaY

Yes, I do stop and remember.

Thanks for the reminder of Elvis' "Memories".
It's been a long while since I've heard it.
Great song, great entertainer.

Peace.

[sage2021]

@nobabels

Thank you for sharing your lovely video. Listening to the words, it's that part that saddens us because we still would love to hear those words being said to us, but they are our memories now.

I lost Patrick on September 8, 2023 - not that long ago for me anyway. He was here one minute and then he was in heaven the next minute. So unexpected.

I think that we are pretty close to how we are both feeling right now.

I don't want to sound like a cliche here, but I am very sorry for the loss of your wife and I pray 🙏🏼 that you are doing okay with it.🙂

[nolabels]

Hello, sage2021,

Thank you for responding and for your condolences.

I'm glad that you appreciated the Van Morrison video.
I didn't want to shift any focus away from your beautiful song, "Memories", but I did feel compelled to share our song.

I tend to submit long posts at times.
This'll be one of those times.

This afternoon I was crossing the kitchen and suddenly became overcome by emotion, and for the first time since Jeanie passed in January, through tears, I said out loud to an otherwise empty house, "I'm alone now."
As if I had to say it out loud in order to make myself believe it.

Memories, memories.
Your Patrick and my Jeanie are no longer here to tell us what we long to hear.
So, we remember.

No, 9/8/23 is not at all long ago to have lost your Patrick.
I'm sure that the suddenness of his passing was extremely difficult for you.
It sounds like you had a great relationship.
I again offer my condolences.

I really shouldn't be here myself, but I am.
On 3/3/24, I experienced a widow maker heart attack, twice going into cardiac arrest.
Obviously, the medicos twice brought me back, in a very violent manner, with CPR and defibrillation, leading to nightmarish journeys for me that seemingly lasted for an eternity, from "nowhere" back to consciousness.
Those events were very horrific for me, but to make things much more interesting, that was followed just a few short weeks later by the diagnosis of my wife's terminal glioblastoma brain cancer.
Life's been a near constant nightmare for the last two years.
I thank God that there were times for the deepening of my love for her and for my being able to entirely let go of old resentments that had gotten in the way of love over the years.
If I'd not made it back from my cardiac arrests, ...

(continued)

[nolabels]

(continued from above)

What's a better way to die, fast and possibly excruciatingly painfully or maybe even very peacefully, with no time to say the things we want to say to someone else, or to fall to a prolonged illness, where that opportunity is available for a time?
Having been afforded a very up-close look at both of those extremes in the last couple of years, I still don't know how I'd answer that question.
In the throes of my heart attack prior to the cardiac arrest events, I didn't want to die, but afterwards I became very angry that I'd been resuscitated.
There's a very complex set of reasons for my having felt angry about being resuscitated, but to thank God again, I'm no longer angry about it.
I came to believe that God had a purpose for me, the first actual purpose in life that I've ever recalled having.
That purpose was to care for my wife in her remaining days in the best way that I could.
That purpose has come to an end.
What now?
Live, that's what's now.
Wherever that takes us.
Live.
Find purpose.

(Sheesh, at the least, one more continuation)

[nolabels]

(Good grief, one more continuation after this one)

To make my long post even longer, here's a little story of how chunks of precious time can be steered to become something unexpectedly memorable.
Early last summer, with my wife's speech and cognitive ability being severely affected, I put on a bit of a production by arranging a "fancy" outdoor "Watermelon Party" for the two of us (the watermelon being super-chilled-in-a-tub-of-iced-saltwater), along with the "good" set of plastic party plates, of course, then followed later that day with me preparing one of the few meals that I'm capable of doing quite well (If I must say so myself, lol), a fish fry, from fish that we'd caught the previous summer.
During the watermelon party and then again while we were eating our fish dinner, my wife began speaking with near perfect clarity of the times when she was little, with her dad frequently inviting the entire neighborhood full of kids to come and have watermelon, sitting on the tailgate of their dad's truck, and then of the times when she'd go fishing with her dad.
That was pretty wonderful.
I shared that story with Jeanie's sister.
Those same emotional memories gratefully came flooding back for her sister, too.
I knew their dad before he passed 20 years or so ago.
He was a pretty cool guy.

(You know the drill by now)

[nolabels]

After reading back over what I've written above, I fear that you could be hurt by my saying that I had time with Jeanie that I knew would be short, but it was time nonetheless, whereas you didn't have that luxury.
I offer my apologies to you if my story affects you adversely.
That is certainly not my intention.

Thank you for your prayers for my wellbeing.
Things have been very difficult in many ways for many reasons, physically, psychologically, and spiritually.
Thankfully, I've been getting wonderful assistance from Jeanie's sister and from one of my sisters.
God, too.
Hopefully, I'll soon be able to get back to being once again self-sufficient as far as basic needs go.
For emotional and social needs, though, self-sufficiency doesn't cut it.
We need people in our lives.
I never understood that until the stuff began to hit the fan two years ago.
Now I know I need people, and I hope that I never forget it.

I pray that you're doing okay with your situation, as well. 🙏

😊, Yep, smiley faces, too, even though they feel a tad false, for now anyway. 😊

[sage2021]

@nolabels

I enjoyed reading every word of what you wrote here to me.
You write ✍🏼 so wonderfully I must say.
I love all and each one of your stories!!🙂 You're a terrific story teller as well.
You didn't hurt my feelings at all with anything that you wrote here. I'm kinda glad that Patrick died suddenly because I didn't have to watch him linger with a painful illness and suffering. That would have been worse for me.
We were happy together and always said kind and loving words to each other. No arguments ever. So that was like a long goodbye in case that ever happened and one of us died suddenly.
He used to say to me that we have to die together at the same time because neither of us could go on living without the other one. He really hated to even think about living without me one day. So at least he didn't have to do that, but I did instead.

Hey, would you like to follow each other on here and we can send each other private messages and tell each other our stories and ask each other how each of us are doing? I'd like that. So I am going to follow you and then you can follow me back okay? 🙏🏼

[sage2021]

@nolabels

Oops 😬 I went to follow you and I was already following you so it unfollowed me. So I sent you a request to follow you.😊

[nolabels]

Wow, what you guys had sounds wonderful to me.
I like your analogy of your entire time together as being a long goodbye.
It's a very romantic way of looking at your lives together.
And why not?
Romance is beautiful.

I'm glad that you enjoy my telling of stories.
My English teachers of long ago certainly would not have predicted such an outcome for me.
It makes me feel good to hear of people appreciating my writing, and I also enjoy the journeys that my mind goes on while writing.
So, thank you for the compliment.

You have a way with words, as well.
I don't know how this image will hit you but reading your words above had me instantly thinking of an outdoor cafe in the spring, lovers seated closely together at a small round table, oblivious to the world rushing past them, with an accordion playing softly and romantically off to one side.
Each lover saying their long goodbyes to the other.

I'm not typically the outdoor romantic cafe kind of guy, and only you can say if you're that type of woman/gal or not, but I easily picture such a lovely scenario when presented with your description of your shared love.
Your words very nicely evoked such a loving scene in my mind.

I've followed you, too.
I think it'd be nice for us to converse.

By the way, it's nice to meet you.

Take care. 😊🙏

[sage2021]

@nolabels
Thank you for your heartfelt reply to me.
I appreciate that you understood my analogy because most people wouldn't have understood what I was saying.
I look forward to our future conversations here privately.

I am so touched by all of your words here that I am speechless! 😶 I think you took my breath away!! That's how touched I am.
Yes, you're right. When Patrick and I were together it was like we were in our own little world together, and we loved it!!🥰

It was very nice meeting you here and I hope we will be sharing more of our stories together soon.
Take care! 🙂

[ohsheeT]

Well , you know , when those popping your head like that , sit down and have a little chat with them , because they're probably sitting right next to you

It could be a sound, it could be a smell that could be anything that triggers that thought maybe they're thinking of you.\nAt that same moment

[darkcloud1945]

Usually happens at the strangest times when those thoughts sneak in and bring a shiteating grin, and people look at you strangely

[ohsheeT]

Exactly

[MontBlanc]

Yeah, sometimes.

Good memories have a way of showing up quietly.

I think they stay with us not to make us sad, but to remind us that at one point, something was real and meaningful.

[ElenaSeluna]

I always do that.. remembering all the good stuff about the people I love whether they are still in my life or no.. it gives me peace and positivity 😊

[Finchie40]

At times if something reminds me of them

[Sunrising]

I have memories of previous relationships, possibly missed opportunities, but they have ended, I'm fit and healthy, and I've new memories to be had.

I don't dwell in the past that might make me sad.

I might regret mistakes I've made, but the future is ahead of me, I don't look back.

Perhaps some day I will look back and reflect, but while I'm young the future is bright, and there is only room for happiness in my life.

I remember Birthdays, but for me I don't stop to remember the past, I'm living the future.

People have different ways of handling situations, this is my way.

[sage2021]

@Sunrising

God gave me a brain that holds my memories and when I heard this song on my playlist and looked at my late boyfriend's pictures, it just got to me! I have such great and happy memories of my Patrick John. I don't want to ever forget them. I was in love with him for 6 years and I love remembering the things he said and that we did together. I was happy for the first time in my life at age 63 until age 69 when he died suddenly.😞

[SamIam96]

OMG, yes. For years I've remembered and fantasized to those past memories.

On the positive side, I have good memories. Sadly, I relive the mistakes again and again.

[sage2021]

@Samlam96

I happened to run across this song that I put on here (open it on the link) by Elvis Presley and I was looking at my late boyfriend's pictures the whole time I was listening to the song. It's all about good memories!!
I have such wonderful memories of my late boyfriend and that's why I asked this question.
To see if other people wanted to share their memories and if they stop and think about people who aren't on this earth anymore I or a couple that broke up.
I don't dwell on my late boyfriends passing. But that song really got to me tonight.

[SamIam96]

@sage2021, thank you for reminding me about some of my experiences. I've never heard the Elvis cover of that song. He does it well.

I'm sorry about your old boyfriend. You're welcome to DM If you want to share some of those experiences.

[live2dance25]

Yes. Unfortunately, it always is a source of sadness and pain so it’s really hard to relive those memories.

[sage2021]

@live2dance25
Yes, I hear what you're saying.
That song made me sad listening to it. I usually don't listen to songs that I know will make me sad, but tonight I did.😞🙂

[live2dance25]

I’m sorry to hear about your late boyfriend. May he RIP and I hope you are hanging in there.

[darkcloud1945]

Sorry for your loss. I lost my wife 20 years ago and miss her to this day. I knew my wife from the day she was born till the day she passed at age 53. We had 3 kids and a million great memories. But lonely with three kids and 5 granddaughters, no, I am not lonely.

[exitseven]

Sometimes when I go someplace where we went together. even after all this time I still think about her.

[sage2021]

@exitseven
How can we not think of them when we are right where we used to be with them?
Patrick died in the apartment next to mine and we lived together in these apartments. Everything reminds me of him. Especially going outside and remembering every single place that we were and what we said to each other.
That song really got to me 7.🙂😞

[exitseven]

@sage2021 Yeah I get it. It must be hard living in the same apartment.

[LiamJHayden]

Yes. I lost both parents while in my teens and think of them daily. They were great people with the most loving relationship.

[sage2021]

@LiamJHayden
Oh... I am so sorry to hear that. I'm glad that you all had a loving relationship and you have some good memories to look back on. This makes me feel sad inside. Sorry! 😔 I can only imagine how much you miss them.
I wasn't close with my parents so you were loved like you should have been.
I better stop here because I don't know what else to say.

But I do want to thank you for sharing your video song by Ashbury because I listen to it everyday. And I shared it with my friend and he really likes it as well.
Take care YOU!! 🙂

[TonyMetal___86]

All the time, actually i don't have a life now, except living for the beautiful memories that i had...

[sage2021]

@TonyMetal___86

And that's exactly what Elvis Presley's song "Memories" is about.
I'm glad that you have beautiful memories Tony!😊

[TonyMetal___86]

Thanks but i wish if i can relive my memories or at least create new ones, well at least you're on the list but i want you to remain a living memory 😌

[sage2021]

@TonyMetal___86

I will try my best to stay above ground for as long as God allows me to. 🙏🏼

[TonyMetal___86]

🤟🏻😊

[Lliam]

Oh yeah. All the time. Girlfriends and I had some wonderful times.

[FreyaRed]

No. Two people who really love me are still alive, those who gone didn't really love me. I was just a doll to put clothes on and target for catharsis for them.

[FunkyMonkee]

Quite often but I don't exactly stop what I'm doing. A certain situation reminds me of this or that and I bask in the memory for a moment or two as I continue what I'm doing.

[Paige2006]

Yes all the time

[AgentG111]

Absolutely All the time!

[fish5505_87]

All the time!