Search Results: mind games

I don't often do this, but on occasion when I'm talking about my favorite sports team, I have said, "I hope we make it to the finals this year," or "I hope we win the championship" and there are those that lose their mind over this phrasing and say, you don't play on the team, you're not out there, so there is no we. I'm not an idiot, I know I'm not actually on the team, but is it really that stupid to say things like that, because I think as a fan you are part of what makes the sport great. Look at how the games were when we were in lockdown and no one was there...someone scores a touchdown or shoots from half court and no one cheered---that was sort of lame because there wasn't that same glory.

Ridiculous or no?

28F, I sold my condo 2 months ago & moved back in with my mom to save up money for my future home. The longest my mother and I have gone without talking was a yr back in 2020 & we were back in good terms fall 2021. Since I’ve moved back in that broke the streak, this is our second argument since last month.

We haven’t spoken for two wks and we had a concert scheduled tonight, along with her boyfriend. I decided I don’t want to go again, she texted me last night when she was at my grandmas place to confirm & I told her I don’t think I want to go again. I was going to text her this morning if she didn’t ask & she went off. Only downside is she has to take an Uber & I already paid her for the tickets, since is the convo:

Her: Dan are you going to see Air Supply tomorrow?

Me: I was going to message tomorrow morning, I don’t think so

Her: Is it cause we’re not speaking?

Me: No

Her:It’s unfortunate you’re not going because I know you like them. It would have been nice if you had the decency to let me know that you were planning to cancel all along. This is the second time concert wise that after money is spent that you make these decisions. I won't bug you to go to concerts again because it’s not cool how you play these games.

Me: Are you serious? I was going to tell you tomorrow morning & I paid you back for the tickets, you’re just having to pay for an Uber? Whatever

Her: Uber is not the issue. I am going regardless so don’t go there. I am talking about how we made plans and you did not have the decency to tell me that you changed your mind. You’re too caught up in your ways to realize what I’m saying so I won’t waste my time.

I’m sure many people go after peopke when they are uncertain bc with all the advice on acting like you DO like someone when you don’t and acting like you DON’T like someone when you do, how can anyone really know for sure. Usually takes time 🤷🏻‍♀️ but I’m wondering how common it is for people to go after someone once they have been explicitly told NO. I’m not interested in a relationship.

I know I have said this many times and it was always taken as a game or worse, that I just don’t understand my own feelings 🙄 each time I said it I went it. There were times when I was uneasy but recognized i may want to try and I’m gonna have to go real slow, and this was very different from “ no absolutely not” and sone tones it was bc I didn’t want a relationship and wasn’t into the person.

Sometimes I very much liked the person but did not want a relationship. It’s really awkward to tell someone you don’t want a relationship when they don’t ask directly but Persue you anyhow and each time I had to wait until they said something or Reyes something out if respect bc I didn’t want to assume, so I really encourage people to be DIRECT. It saves everyone time & dignity.

I never became interested in a relationship based on the person changing my mind. It was based on when I had decided I don’t disapprove of being emotionally intimate with someone and for me that’s rare.

Anyhow, I’m my case people obit ever benefited being upfront. Inversely I’ve never had luck being upfront. It’s taken as a game or they play games, oh well. In my perfect universe everyone is direct and they get their kicks from fun stuff not d*cking people around. One can dream 🤷🏻‍♀️

(Assuming she is physically attractive to you).

Men complain about getting bored with women (including their partners), get annoyed by their emotional needs and anxieties, get repulsed and frustrated when facing a discussion that is not faced with with logic; complain about women wanting gender equality, thinking they wouldn't do their part or that they wouldn't offer enough on the table in exchange; complain about women being difficult to talk with and "expensive".

Now, imagine a woman who counters the complaints: she shares the same interests as yours with the same depth, has a technical and goal-oriented mindset, is confident and insightful about any topic you open, takes a lot of initiative to drive the day, is not anxious, doesn't feel gender inequality effects, doesn't need a boyfriend (but accepts one), is very logical and assertive during conflicts, coherent, chill and very easy to start any conversation with, men have an unusually very good esteem of her, she manager herself alone by a lot, reasons like a man would, knows what she wants, is generous, trustworthy.

All this can easily come with a cost that is typical of any "too" independent individual: she is sometimes cold and drastic, likes sex but doesn't easily commit to a relationship, doesn't perceive your authority, puts in you in circumstances that imply gender equality, is often too busy for your emotional needs and fully absorbed in her interests, doesn't reply fast to your texts, can't fall for any mind game or power struggles and reads your intentions in advance, doesn't forgive you by just by "missing" you, fights about strongly grounded opinions, is not afraid to offend you with a "no", has male friends she shares interests with, she needs alone-time and if you don't follow her initiatives she leaves you behind.

Is that a cost you would pay?