Is my mother right for calling me out?

[Anonymous]

28F, I sold my condo 2 months ago & moved back in with my mom to save up money for my future home. The longest my mother and I have gone without talking was a yr back in 2020 & we were back in good terms fall 2021. Since I’ve moved back in that broke the streak, this is our second argument since last month.

We haven’t spoken for two wks and we had a concert scheduled tonight, along with her boyfriend. I decided I don’t want to go again, she texted me last night when she was at my grandmas place to confirm & I told her I don’t think I want to go again. I was going to text her this morning if she didn’t ask & she went off. Only downside is she has to take an Uber & I already paid her for the tickets, since is the convo:

Her: Dan are you going to see Air Supply tomorrow?

Me: I was going to message tomorrow morning, I don’t think so

Her: Is it cause we’re not speaking?

Me: No

Her:It’s unfortunate you’re not going because I know you like them. It would have been nice if you had the decency to let me know that you were planning to cancel all along. This is the second time concert wise that after money is spent that you make these decisions. I won't bug you to go to concerts again because it’s not cool how you play these games.

Me: Are you serious? I was going to tell you tomorrow morning & I paid you back for the tickets, you’re just having to pay for an Uber? Whatever

Her: Uber is not the issue. I am going regardless so don’t go there. I am talking about how we made plans and you did not have the decency to tell me that you changed your mind. You’re too caught up in your ways to realize what I’m saying so I won’t waste my time.

Yes

No

Updates

1 y

To clarify, she didn’t go to the concert alone her boyfriend also went along

[Guy13]

You seem like one of those people who operate best on their own. It seems a little bit selfish not to communicate and notify your Mom. the person who birthed you, of your change in Plans. She obviously was trying to convince you to go but you seemed stuck on not communicating and getting over things.

[Haha456]

here's what you dont understand :

your mom doesn't want to go alone. Most of us do not like going to places / events all alone. Its not as fun. It can even feel awkward too. You canceled because you felt like your own personal whims are more important than keeping a promise to someone else.

I've had my own experiences with a guy. He said he wanted to meet up with me the night before. Then 2 hours prior to the meeting, he canceled on me. When you don't respect / value other people enough, other people can see that very clearly

[kylee2437]

Your mother seems reasonable. Just because you paid for the tickets - doesn’t mean you should lack decency to let her know plans have changed.

[PraviteliNahuiValite]

Who is right? If both of you are doing what you have the right to do, then both are right.

[Anonymous]

Yeah she’s right. You were going to wait until the same day to cancel? Who the f does that. That’s extremely disrespectful. If you have made plans then you go, you don’t cancel just because you don’t feel like it anymore which seems to be something you’ve done before too. If you have to cancel you cancel as soon as possible, right when you know you’re not going you cancel then. Not the last day!

[MrPotatoHead78]

Time to cut the apron strings. Seriously.