Search Results: should i meet him

I met Brad in Nov 2023 through a dating app & we were long-distance until I moved closer to his city in March-June. We were living together & things were going alright. Whenever we had issues, they tended to get resolved relatively quickly. A few people were worried that he was controlling since all his exes said he was manipulative, etc. He proposed to me in May.

My sister came in June to move me back home unexpectedly since I was done with school & I didn't tell my family about him beforehand, so that was the first time they had met. She didn't like him for various reasons. We left so he could meet the rest of my family & they didn't like him either for multiple reasons. Brad was expecting me to leave with him that day since we agreed/made a plan. I chose to stay with my family because my mom said she needed me due to a heart issue & they wanted to do a party that honored them in the community. Brad felt betrayed & still is holding onto it to this day.

This whole time, it's been a rollercoaster between Brad & me since he feels like what I'm doing is wrong, there's no reason for us not to see each other physically until the party, & my family is using the party in Sept as an excuse to end/separate us. I spoke with my mom recently & she agreed it was an excuse for the last couple of months since she hoped we would end by now. Since we're still together, she is now working on it, but I feel betrayed, don't want to do it anymore, & want to leave to be with Brad, even though that would put me in a tough position if we were to divorce since my family would disown me.

Brad has also tried to leave the relationship a few times & followed other girls on social media since he was upset about all this. He said that the party needed to happen this month, as my mom promised, or else he'd end the relationship seriously unless I left to be with him. My mom went to the venue, and their available date is Dec. I don't know what to do; please help, i miss him :(

I’m possibly moving to another country to make my family with someone from that other country.

I don’t know the language I just know some words. So i told him that while he’s at work, I’m gonna be going to school to learn his language

he quickly said no!
I thought he was joking so I laughed

he said no.
Because I could meet someone there better than him & leave him.

that never crossed my mind. I’m going there to make a family not to try to find someone else. I’m 39 years old. I can’t be wasting time. I look really young but I’m not young. If I were younger then I would understand him, but I just want to make a family.

he said I should find something to do in his flat while he returns from work. Also that I should not work because I have to raise our kids.

I agree with him mostly as I don’t trust random babysitters but I want to go to school at least for learning the language and to the gym to stay fit but after he said this I didn’t even mention the gym anymore

I’ve been single almost my whole life. I don’t really find anyone attractive around me and I almost never go out so nobody approaches me. I feel he is my only chance If I even want to try to have a family.

BUT does what he said sound Scary? Creepy?
I also notice one of the doors in the videos and photos he’s sent me, has multiple locks on it. I asked why so many locks on a door, it seems rather creepy. And he was insulted by it saying I think he’s a serial killer. I didn’t say that. But it did cross my mind.

if I don’t go to him, the chances of me finding someone fast and telling him I need to make babies asap! Is very low probably less than 1% most men would flee at the sound of me saying any of that. They would want to get to know me first and then see how it goes etc etc

don’t really have time for that. I need to make a baby asap.

so having said all that,

what would you do if you were me? After what he said. Is it very weird or just a little?

I met a guy named Brad back in Nov 2023. We were dating long distance until March-June when we began living together and got engaged in May. I was in school at the time and got dismissed, so when my family found out, they sent my sister to move me back home. My sister met Brad for the first time because I hadn't told them I was with anyone until then. She immediately didn't like him because he doesn't make much money and his house looked very run down. She basically said I had no choice but to come home because my mom wasn't doing well, and we all left the same day so Brad could meet my family. Me and Brad promised each other I would leave that day to be with him.

While I watched him interact with my family and heard their concerns, i thought it would be best for me to be at home for the time being since my mom just got a pacemaker placed and needed me to care for her. Brad threatened to end the relationship then, but decided later that he will wait because my family said they'd throw a small party and I'd move in back with him after that in Sept. He kept saying how me staying with family wasn't right the whole time, and how he didn't want to do the party anymore. I did not know what to do because we all agreed that the party was fine.

Now, it's been a day that he blocked my number and Instagram so there's no way for me to contact him. I do want to be with him in marriage because I care about him and don't understand why he can't do the party. Everyone is telling me varied things but do you think I did the right thing by staying with family and waiting for the party? Or do you think I should've just left to be with him by now? I thought what my family was doing was fair considering that me and brad are from different cultures and he didn't ask for my hand in marriage prior to the engagement either. Plus I had gotten dismissed from my program so I needed time to figure out a new career path too.