Search Results: call me the next day

I'm 40, and recently broke up with my boyfriend (47) of 11 months. We had hundreds of days filled with highs, he is social, charming, has a lot of friends, loves going out, having fun. He was very sweet, romantic and caring during these times. There were red flags that I tried to rationalize- binge drinking multiple times a week, crippling debt from student loans and cc (>200K), no career motivation and health issues that started popping up (probably from drinking). We had 6-7 arguments over the last year, that I thought were heated but never out of control (and always under the influence of alcohol). The next day we'd both apologize and move on. I realized he'd get overwhelmed then, and sometimes even at the smallest disagreement or when I needed to vent (when both were sober). I showed concern about his health and debt and the stupid fights that happened while drinking. Asked him to cut back, but he was super defensive and in denial. Fast forward to the new year, we were going to move in together and he was going to propose. He suddenly started acting disinterested and cold and last week suddenly declares he doesn't want to move in together. I'm taken aback and ask why, and he brings up the fights and that it's too frequent. I ask if he's overwhelmed with all his issues, and he admits he is, but keeps blaming me for the fights. I say I'll work on being more understanding and only bring up stuff while we're both sober and in a calm way, but I can't change the past, only do better in the future. He's reluctant to accept my words and I finally ask in frustration if he wants to break up. He says he doesn't know what wants, but needs time on his own to think. Over the next 3 weeks, I don't hear from him and he ignores my call and texts, forcing me to text and email him an official breakup note. Rationally, I know he's not good for me in his current state, but my heart still loves him. I want to know if a man like this can change. Does he deserve a second chance?

He was interviewing my alongside the 2 senior managers of the team and was supposed to mentor me and show me around on my first day at work since I was assigned to his project. I felt like I sucked during the interview since the senior manager seemed to not like me but received an offer the next day. I assume it was because I was the only applicant for the role.

When I arrived on my first day I saw him making a phone call in the lobby but not acknowledging me. Later the senior manager welcomed me and showed me the office where he was not to be found even though he was supposed to show me around. Later I found out that his coworker would mentor me instead of him and he never made an effort to talk to me, not even work related issues. Even other coworkers mentioned that he barely spoke to me so I’m not imagining it.

Does that indicate that he thinks I’m incompetent and therefore doesn’t want to be associated with me? Or does he think I would just be a bother because I don’t come off intelligent enough for him? Or does he just find me unpleasant or physically unattractive? He is married but I know that he has an affair with his coworker and he is quite sociable so it’s not like he is afraid of metoo.