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He was interviewing my alongside the 2 senior managers of the team and was supposed to mentor me and show me around on my first day at work since I was assigned to his project. I felt like I sucked during the interview since the senior manager seemed to not like me but received an offer the next day. I assume it was because I was the only applicant for the role.
When I arrived on my first day I saw him making a phone call in the lobby but not acknowledging me. Later the senior manager welcomed me and showed me the office where he was not to be found even though he was supposed to show me around. Later I found out that his coworker would mentor me instead of him and he never made an effort to talk to me, not even work related issues. Even other coworkers mentioned that he barely spoke to me so I’m not imagining it.
Does that indicate that he thinks I’m incompetent and therefore doesn’t want to be associated with me? Or does he think I would just be a bother because I don’t come off intelligent enough for him? Or does he just find me unpleasant or physically unattractive? He is married but I know that he has an affair with his coworker and he is quite sociable so it’s not like he is afraid of metoo.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Like someone else said maybe he doesn't want to mentor period. I hate training people I'm not the best at it. But I doubt it's because he finds you unattractive, it's possible he does find you attractive and maybe he is trying to stay clear from you so he doesn't have an affair again.
He keeps messing with her though still and he acts super cold and distant with me compared to others
Well this guy sounds shady to me honestly. He shouldn't be having an affair anyway.
He may have picked you because you were attractive still, but maybe he doesn't want the drama of two workplace affairs. Personally I think you should be happy and let someone else train you instead.
Could be any, none, or all of the above. I also hate mentoring people, so could have nothing to do with you and I just am not looking forward to babysitting because I have a lot of things going on right now.
Yeah but he has quite a lot of time on his hands and acts quite cold and distant with me compared to anyone else
How do you think you know how much time he has on his hands? He's a senior manager, you're not, you don't know everything that's on his plate.
And are the other people new hires or they've been there a while?
He is not a senior manager he is just a regular employee who was supposed to supervise me since I’m in his project. And I know since I always see him on the phone, in the lobby drinking coffee for hours or sneaking off with his affair at work. When I told my other coworker that he seems busy he started laughing out loud
Oh well then maybe he's just not looking forward to the extra work since he sounds lazy.
There were no other new hires and he has been there for over 10 years
At first I assumed that he just needed to warm up with me or avoided me because I’m not important enough but I’ve seen him chatting for hours even with new interns
Well then there ya go... the lazy guy doesn't want to babysit the only new person there. Makes sense.
Yeah I bet he would have loved to supervise me if I were hotter don’t you think?
Since he seems to get along with everyone except me
You'd never be hot enough for me to voluntarily put up with mentoring someone at work if it's not my explicit job requirement to do so.
That said, of course hotter people get more leeway in life than fuglies (not saying you're fugly.. I don't know you).
As for him getting along with everyone but you, yes. They've been there 10 years, and you're the FNG.
Let's cut to the chase. Why does it bother you that he's not all about this? Does NOBODY like you there or is it specific to him? Fancy him do you?
No I don’t fancy him I’m just tired of being treated like the ugly duckling even in professional settkngs.
And no I said he gets along with interns that joined months after me
And yes, supervising someone who is new to a project is always part of the job
Oh okay... all my people get trained by supervisors, not by peers, so that's new. I've trained new hires who were my peer on paper, but that's because I have more experience than my boss I just didn't want the promotion so she asked me to spin up the FNG.
I'm sure you'll make some other friends at work. Don't sweat this guy.
Yeah but what’s his problem really? He acts like I offended him
Yep welcome to the workplace. Some people just aren't going to like you.
Yeah being unattractive as a woman is apparently a crime
Everybody is unattractive to someone, hence the saying "show me the hottest woman you know and I'll show you a man who is sick of her shite"
And it's not like unattractive guys get a lot of love in society, so don't make this about sex.
Well he likes to chat with unattraktive guys so apparently he makes it about sex
If you don't like this guy why do you care so much who he is and isn't talking to?
He reports to my boss, who is actually a busy guy
And he told him that I was not being proactive and social enough when kn fact he is the one messing up
Then ask your boss to quantify what you need to do to be productive so you can demonstrate you've achieved that. What kind of job do you have where "social enough" is a criteria? You in public relations or something? If not then why is that even a metric. 90% of the people at work know how irrelevant they are to me because I've pointed it out, why is the expectation that you all have a group hug or some shite? ESPECIALLY if you're not public affairs or brand management or something touchy feely like that