Is my fiancé wrong?

Question

Hello everyone, I am engaged to a 27 m and I am a 28 f, we've been together almost 7 years.

Let’s jump right into it.

My fiancé is in a weird position right now with his family. He has two siblings (one little brother and one older sister) and both his parents.

His younger brother (26 m) has a suspended drivers license because of a DUI. One night him and a friend of theirs were out driving around in the city area. The friend was driving at first but asked the little brother if he could drive because he was too drunk. Both of them were drinking that night. So apparently his brother gets behind the wheel of their friends car and gets pulled over because he ran a stop sign. The police tell them to get out the car and basically instead of the brother giving the officer his info he gave my FIANCÉS NAME instead, the friend follows suit and gives my fiancés name too.

The officer writes two tickets in my man’s name and we find all of this out the very next day.

So now what’s happening is his brother is supposed to go to court for these tickets and their parents want my fiancé to basically take the fall for it. They want him to let his brother use his Drivers License in court and let him put the tickets on his record.

My fiance has a clean driving record and has never gotten a ticket by the police.

He told his dad he didn’t want to give up his license and then his mom calls saying “you trippin for not wanting to let your brother use your license, it’s not like you’ll get in trouble.”

This clearly makes me very upset and I’m pregnant with our first child. I think it’s super unfair for him to take the fall when he wasn’t even there with those guys that night.

He hasn’t given up his ID but his brother thinks he’s a snitch for not helping him out and the rest of his family thinks he’s trippin’ cause his brother could potentially go to jail.

Any advice on this situation? I would hate for him to fall out with his family over this but I just feel it’s so wrong.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Ok I get that they’re his family, but guess what he has a family of his own now too w one on the way. He needs to lookout for the welfare of you as well as his future child. First of all this teaches the younger brother nothing, which chances are he’ll just do again. Second what kind of parents does this dude have that they would tell him to do such a thing. The parents need to let the son face the consequences. Otherwise they’re doing him a disservice, because next time he could end up getting in an accident, possibly killing someone. As much as we don’t want him to “lose” his family over this, I think it’s best to say no even if they don’t talk to him for a while. Besides if all he got was a ticket he got off light, I went to jail. Paid a lawyer almost 10k to get charges lowered. His family seems screed up mentally. You can’t tell him what to do though, let’s just hope he makes the right choice.

AviatorTom · Accepted Answer

It's his decision, not yours. I'm sure you've told him what you think, and that's all you can do. I personally would not allow my family to use me like this.

I'm kind of curious how the tickets were written. Here in the US, you have to show the police your driver's license, not just say some random name. Plus, why did the police think that two people had the same name? How did that happen?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

There is absolutely no reason for your fiancé to take the fall. His parents are trippin’ for thinking he won’t get in trouble, and for enabling the brother’s behavior.

Your fiancé needs to get his hands on the citation, which should have the date and time of the traffic stop and should have officer name and badge number. Then he should go to the police station and ask to speak with the officer who conducted the traffic stop, and explain the situation. The officer should have body cam footage of that traffic stop. He should provide name and date of birth of his brother so the officer can look up that suspended license and obtain a driver license photo. The officer needs to see plainly that your fiancé was not the subject of that traffic stop. If your fiancé has to go to court, he can probably contest the DUI charge on the grounds that he is a victim of fraud and identity theft.

msmissydc · Accepted Answer

I dont know your family so nothing personal here but this is fucked up.
Let his brother go to jail for DUI AND fraud or something fitting. You fiance should not take the fall!! DUI is just fucked up in the first place. You are not only endenraging yourself but everyone around you. If it would be something like a parking ticket sure maybe thats different but his brother needs to learn and if this apperantly wasn't his first problem with the police and driving letting himself get out of it free, is just making it way worse.
Do you really need the family if thats what they give you? Can he expect to get something back of equal value? (Not talking about money here)

AydenHazor · Answer

He should definitely not allow his brother to use his ID. His brother did something stupid and needs to own up to it. Falsely claiming to be your fiance while in that situation is also a crime. I'm curious how he got away with a ticket while he was driving drunk with a drunk passenger and didn't wind up in jail for the night, where they would have taken his possessions off him and logged his ID. I can't imagine they let him drive the rest of the way home when he was caught driving under the influence. I'm also pretty sure that if brother gets away with using fiance's ID, he'll also expect fiance to pay any fines and tickets, because they'll be in fiance's babe so they won't affect him personally if they don't get paid.

boggboss · Answer

Any normal person would cut their family off what kind of juvenile shit am I reading he clearly don't need people like them in his life

JacobJordan · Answer

That isn't family. He needs to drop them mad quick. He also needs to file a police report last week for identity theft and name the culprits

Is my fiancé wrong?

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