Am I wrong for being pissed at my fiancé for smoking weed?

[Anonymous]

My fiancé and I have recently been planning to move out of state. Something that we’ve talked about for two years for better paying jobs for the both of us. We finally set the day we are moving for September 1st. Meaning we both have to drug test sometime within the next two to three weeks. I personally don’t do any type of drugs but my fiancé on the other hand smokes a good bit of weed so “quit” last week during my week off work. I started working again this week and came home this morning (I work over nights one week on and one off) and found cigar wrappers and the house smelled of weed. So I confronted him about since we’ve already told both of our families that we had plans to move the first of September and that with him smoking weed again he won’t be able to pass the drug test and I’m going to be honest I was pissed about it. He then told me that I had no reason to be mad since I told him at the beginning of our relationship that I didn’t care if he smoke weed as long as we were able to manage our bill. So am I wrong for being pissed about him smoking

[john6678]

As a teenager I smoked a lot of weed and I know people will disagree, but it can seriously drive you crazy and it's just a fucked up habit.

He's lucky to have a woman like you that's mature and wants to work and build a life with him.

Don't marry him if he won't stop smoking weed. You've matured and honesty I'd never do that to the woman I love.

He's not going to pass the drug test and you two both need stable jobs to build a stable life together. You have every right to be upset and this could seriously damage your future.

I myself am a nightshift worker and had to grow up. Nightshift Is not easy and I can only just imagine how horrible it must be to come home and find your partners old weed wrappers everywhere and your home stinking of weed.

If he seriously loves you, he's gotta stop now. Express just how much you hate his habit and don't be afraid to leave if he doesn't.

Stay strong.

[ProbablyClueless]

I get why you're pissed. I would be pissed too. I think your best bet is to just wait until the drug test happens and see whether he passes.

Smoking weed within 2 weeks doesn't automatically mean failure, but smoking was definitely a bad idea.

[Bryce325]

You have full right to be pissed.

You both had agreed on something that required quitting then announces his intention to quit.

The fact you said way before any of these events that you were fine with it is of no relevance anymore. It was a desperate attempt to avoid the responsibility and consequences of his actions.

[Asker]

He also has tried to blame it on me because he get lonely in our house by hisself when I’m at work and that it causes him to be really depressed. So I’m honestly not sure anymore

[Bryce325]

He just needs something more fulfilling to do other than sitting around the house smoking pot.

You aren't responsible for keeping his every moment exciting and full of purpose. It kinda sounds like his default reaction to problems is attempt to deflect back onto you.

I'm sure he won't accept it if you flat out tell him as such but maybe there are things you can do together that will help him into a better mindset.

Excersize or a feeling of accomplishment will bring a sense of satisfaction that surpasses what weed brings.

[slatyb]

Are you sure you want to marry him? Can you trust him to hold up his half of the marriage?

[Asker]

This is the first time I’ve ever had any doubt in him. I trust him with my life but the fact that he pushed for us to move for so long and after we both agreed that it was the right choice he immediately goes back to smoking weed the second I’m not around

[BoopBoopBeep]

No, you're wrong for picking a bum who doesn't want to work though. You're also wrong if you stay with him.

[DextroShade]

If it causes actual consequences like him not being able to get a job then you are right to be mad. If he can still get a job by using the fake urine to pass the drug test then you have no right to be mad.

[007kingifrit]

no sadly you are growing up and he isn't. every girl your age eventually learns a pot head is not a good partner, he isn't going to get better as weed is addictive and this isn't going to be a working relationship for you much longer

[DryGermanGuy]

You have to do drug tests… for a job? 😳
In the „land of the free“?

[exitseven]

This is why you don't get involved with druggies. He will never give it up/

[Anonymous]

The framing is incorrect and the cause of the problem.

This isn't about weed its about a drug test.

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend is a villain who wakes up everyday ready to hurt your feelings.

[Anonymous]

you obviously like living with a deadbeat loser and supporting him otherwise you would of left him a long time ago

[msc545]

He prefers not to work, obviously.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Dump him, never date a druggy.

[skyla_is_learning]

of course you are right

[In_Trance]

doesn't seem like you're on the same page