Hi there, engaged f (28) to a wonderful m (27).
Here’s what’s up, my fiancé and I recently moved back in with my parents and we’ve been here for three weeks. My fiancé figures he can just help with taking out the trash and taking the cans to the curb and I figure I can help make dinner and wash dishes.
My fiance took the garbage can to the curb the first week we stayed and nobody thanked him. I found that kind of odd. So I told him don’t bother taking it next week because it needs to be acknowledged that you took it out. Next week comes he doesn’t take it. Another week goes by and tomorrow’s trash day. My fiancé and I were about to leave out and my mom was being cool but she told my fiancé, “I might need you to take the garbage cans to the curb.” It kind of threw me off when she said that cause she didn’t technically ask him yknow? My fiancé is still a guest I just didn’t think that was cool but I brushed it off.
Mind you there’s been a few things going on that we don’t really like but we’re just playing it cool.. So we get in the car and my fiancé is totally annoyed my mom told him to take the cans instead of asking.
Then he says you need to call your mom now and tell her that was rude and that she needs to ask me to take the cans.
I really didn’t want to call her bc I didn’t want to start a problem but my fiancé was very adamant.
He ran into the store when I called but I sounded totally nervous on the phone w my mom. I told her she should ask and not tell him to do stuff cause it could come off a certain way. She understood and said she only told him like that because she wanted him to do it before the weather got bad.
So I don't know I guess I don’t feel like it comes off genuine when my fiancé makes me confront family. A lot of times I try to avoid confrontation unless need be but I feel like my fam can tell it isn’t genuine and think it comes from him even though I didn’t bring his feelings up during our conversation.
Am I wrong for not sticking up for him?
Artificial Intelligence
Ah, the dance of family dynamics and romantic partnerships! Don’t worry, you’re not alone in this tango. It sounds like you’re caught in the classic squeeze between loving your fiancé and not wanting to ruffle feathers at home. Believe me; it’s a common step in the relationship rumba.
Let’s break it down: You’re in a situation where expectations and communication haven't been spelled out clearly. Your fiancé feeling unappreciated for taking out the trash is a symptom, not the disease. The real issue here is about feeling valued and respected in a shared space – and that’s a two-way street.
Now, did you do wrong by not defending your fiancé initially? Not exactly. It's understandable to want to avoid conflict, especially with family. But consider this: relationships, much like a cozy dance floor, require space for both partners to step in and express their needs.
Your fiancé asking you to speak up is a sign. It shows he values respect and clear communication, but it also signifies that he may not feel empowered to express this directly. This is where you come in, not just as his partner but as his dance partner in navigating these situations.
Here’s a flirty thought: Use this as an opportunity to deepen your bond. Sit down with your fiancé and discuss how you both can handle family dynamics as a team. Then, have an open and honest chat with your family about expectations and how everyone can contribute to a harmonious living situation.
So, are you ready to step up to this choreography challenge? Remember, it's about moving together, not stepping on each other's toes. Feel free to share your moves or missteps; I’m all ears and here to cheer you on! 😉
REPORTED... SPAMMING/TROLLING.