Is it wrong to ask my fiancé to get rid of his gross cat since we have a baby on the way?

Question

So I’m 37 weeks pregnant with my first baby with my fiancé. We’ve been together for a while (obviously) and one of his two cats has worn me thin. Since we’ve been together, this cat has repeatedly caused problems in our relationship because of her bowel issues. She doesn’t bury her poop, so the whole place smells like shit. She then proceeds to drag her poopy ass on the carpet, leaving skid marks. She also often poops outside of the litter box and I’m left to clean it up when my fiancé isn’t home. This is a major problem because pregnant women should not be cleaning cat poop, as it can hurt the baby. We have been to the vet to try to help her, there’s nothing we can do to make it better.

I have now told my fiancé that she has to go. We live in a small carpeted apartment, and I can’t have our baby crawling on cat poop. (Even if I wipe it up, it’s still not clean enough for a baby to be crawling on and the putting his fingers in his mouth.) I also can’t be shampooing the carpet all the time for practical/financial/time reasons.

My fiancé himself has wanted to get rid of this one cat several times for the same reasons, but always flakes out due to his connection to her. Now, I do understand that it’s emotional for him, but our baby’s health should matter more. I’ve told him that the other cat is fine to stay (no problems with him), but that this cat has to go. He put in an application to drop off the cat a little bit ago, but is very angry and passive aggressive now. I know he will resent me, but my baby matters more than his anger right now.

Am I being unreasonable by demanding the cat to go before the baby arrives?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Gods. I'd hate to see you with the babe. Babies are "dirty" almost on par, in ways, with the "gross cat". They have bowel issues and can at times be covered in their own shit.

As for getting rid of his "gross cat" the simplest solution is to rehome it. Instead of bitching about it for the last six months you or the guy should've started making advertisements, asking at the vet if they know of anyone, etc. Dropping off the cat at a shelter with its conditions means it'll likely not be adopted & thus euthanized hence your fiance's problems.

Hannah_le · Accepted Answer

Is it old? If it’s old wait until it dies naturally ofc still give it a good life. Maybe feline diapers but do a lot of research on it like how long they will wear it for , when to change it up , but it is used for cats who have issues like that. It’s not wrong where ur coming from but if he doesn’t want to then I don’t think u can do to much. Unless u give it to a family member who would love the cat or a good owner / foster.

spartan55 · Accepted Answer

I'm typically not big on demands from one person to the other in a relationship. However I have to side with you on this one. I like cats, grew up with them in my family, had some as an adult, so I understand being attached TO A CERTAIN POINT. And when you are talking about the health of your baby, that trumps everything to me.
There is something wrong with that cat, poor thing. It's probably miserable, wouldn't you be if you were shitting everywhere?

ZackBan · Accepted Answer

You should have the sensibilities to know that it's wrong to ask someone to get rid of a pet.

That being said there is a problem here and you two need to address it, I'm sure if you take the cat to a doctor he will give you some medicine to make him shit less and with a bit of training he can be made to burry his poop

OlderAndWiser · Answer

No, he is being very unreasonable. What will you do if the cat is still in your home when the baby is born?

Sincerly_KittyCat · Answer

You would be an evil person to do something like that. If you know he likes pets why would you even go with him. Why must he do this because you are selfish. I want to say the what ifs but people are too soft these days. Just leave the man's pet alone and deal with it.

WindAtMyBack · Answer

You are being completely reasonable. He's going to be a father. His duty is to his baby first. Your arguments about sanitation are entirely valid. He needs to step up and do what needs to be done. And he needs to do it soon. That newborn needs a sanitary environment. A newborn's immune system is not developed yet. Your place should be cleansed before that baby arrives home.

It might not be easy for him, but he needs to do it.

jshm2 · Answer

You should instead rehouse the cat or put it down, if it's health is that bad.

But it's dog poop, not cat poop, you're thinking about, that can be bad for infants. Dog poop can cause toxocariasis. It's rare in housebound cats.

Or maybe section off a part of the house for the cats to stay in?

Seems you're being bitchy and hormonal and refusing to listen to your fiancé. A big red flag if I'm honest. If you're this bad before marriage, then...

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

The cat keeps doing these things and I think he should adopt the cat
out to an older person who could take care of it cause with a baby due
it's a risk to have a cat around with it's feces all over the floor and the
the floor needs shampooing all the time due to cat feces on the floor is
no good and yes the baby is at risk and your fiance' should put the baby
before himself

Anonymous · Answer

I personally think it's wrong, however There are automatic cleaning litterboxes for cats online that you can get, Petco and Walmart sells them for 30-something USD. Some for more but it really depends. I respect you trying to take care of yourself and your child, as cat poop can give pregnant women Toxoplasmosis which isn't really bad for the woman or the child unless you're really early in the pregnancy.

tallcuck · Answer

Sounds like he should have gone rid of you, too late now that you are pregnant... Poor man gonna regret having you when you think like this. Children who grow exposed to cats and dogs have much better imune system. But you just want control, don't you?

Anonymous · Answer

The way you’re communicating is probably the problem. Have you explained in a non accusatory way why this is important to you, and have you genuinely listened to him? I’m doubting you have - hence his passive aggression as you say.
Why don’t you try to help regime the cat with a family member so that he can still see the cat and know that she’s well cared for? Surely that would be the best option to explore first if you care about him.

Anonymous · Answer

No, you are completely right. Stick to your guns. Be bold. Take control and make it happen.
No baby should be near this animal and its poor hygiene. If it doesn't give you some horrible disease, the baby is at risk.
He should understand this but if he needs help, you make it happen.

TheFlak38 · Answer

As always, once the woman has locked down a man with marriage and kids she starts changing his life until he's completely destroyed and then dumps him to repeat the same with another man.

Anonymous · Answer

yea you are being unreasonable. Pets are for life find a solution  people that dispose of pets should not be allowed to get them ever again

sheikalana · Answer

No, is not wrong as long as you have a genuine reason like you feel insecure leaving the baby alone with the cat around, allergies, stuff like that.

cth96190 · Answer

I would get rid of you, not the cat. You are a horrible soulless person.

IVANNOAH2 · Answer

Oh God such a disgusting person you are. Why are you even pregnant you idiot

Anonymous · Answer

If I were in your place I would have found out some other solution.

Anonymous · Answer

R U confident in who the fiancee is going to pick when it comes down to you or the cat?

EaterPeter · Answer

Wrong, yes. Unethical, no.

GAGSucksBalls1 · Answer

if you don't like animals, shouldn't be married

Romeocuck · Answer

No. Its the right yhings to do. Just do it wisely.

Agape93 · Answer

Yeah.

Is it wrong to ask my fiancé to get rid of his gross cat since we have a baby on the way?

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