Search Results: getting the old him back

I’ve tried to take lessons from bad past experiences and not do the same to someone else.

For example I had one ex girlfriend ghosted me after dating for 9 months after a minor argument. A few years later I found myself in the reverse position (wanting to break up). Even though I didn’t want to see my soon to be ex face to face (because I knew she would go ballistic) I gave her the respect of doing it anyway.

She went nuclear and it lasted for an agonizing 2 hours. Culminated with her threatening to kill herself (she didn’t do it thank God). But I left knowing I did the right thing. I let her get everything off her chest. Gave her closure. Also her behavior sadly confirmed I made the right choice.

But I find that usually women use bad past experiences with men as an excuse to screw over innocent (ish) men they meet in the future. Like they are “evening the score” by getting back at an ex by screwing over an unrelated man.

Reason I say this my experience grown women in their 30s with emotional baggage actually get worse then older men who have similar bad experiences.

This woman that I used to work with is close to my age (we're both of legal age), I'd make memes about her name (only first name) because it was sincerely my favorite name to use to joke around with. We used to chit chat and go to the same school. I'm having a really rough year. I've ALREADY been into a LOT of trouble over the last 5-6 years, high school and college included. I've said a LOT of stupid ******* things I wish I could take back.

Anyway she never added me back on social media except once on Snapchat two years ago and she unfriended me the week after. I commented an emoji (nothing gross or racy, just a single laughter emoji without any words) on a funny video she made, and she literally had the audacity to block me on all social platforms she knows I use.

Now she has AT LEAST THREE of my profiles blocked even though I'd not engaged in her content this year. I deleted my old TikTok profile which was also the one she blocked. I still jokingly brought her up in stuff like groupchats and (just her name in) videos. I used her name like people use "Karen", "Kevin", or "Jezebel" as an insult—except it is a more edgy way of saying those names to insult the trolls, and sometimes I would use her name in place of the "red" pill (the so-called "alpha-male" tactic).

I had her number but didn't call her for the first 3 years. When I did, she basically said hello and got pissed at me when she found out a Snapchat friend of mine snitched on me for using her pictures. Her profiles were public, now all of them that I know of are set to private.

I am highly influenced by the people I am around with, especially as far as dudes are concerned. Andrew Tate and his followers taught me that men are dominant, that they must learn that women like to play hard-to-get.

I feel bad for whoever blocked me. I didn't rant about her in groupchats til' AFTER she blocked me.

I have been single all my life. Meanwhile, I am watching everyone around me get married and form new chapters of their lives with their new families.

In addition, my reputation has been tarnished and I have been having trouble keeping jobs because of it. It is a long story, and I rather not explain, but I did something a while back that has haunted me everywhere I go.

At least if I was going to be single for the rest of my life, I was hoping I could at least establish a wealthy career, but no. I have yet to hold a job for at least a year in my entire lifetime.

I am getting older. My parents are getting older of course. They are my rock, and when they are no longer here one day, I won't have a shoulder to cry on. I will be lost.

I have a feeling an early death will spare me from a life of loneliness and depression.