Search Results: tell someone you could not be with them

30F and I don’t think I’ll ever shake my core belief that any decently presentable lady has no prob finding a man, a pretty girl well forget about it. I’m very reserved, I’ve always been but was *friendlier* in my early twenties, now I’m borderline antisocial. I always blamed growing up overweight as the reason why I didn’t get attention from guys/wasn’t popular, I lost weight in my early twenties and have maintained my weight loss since (still slim thick). Again, this weight loss didn’t change the attention I got from guys & I was a bit more sociable back then.

I’m told I’m attractive (from all kinds of people for most of my life & not only family/friends) & the only times attractive guys take initiative are on dating apps. And apps are absolute trash as we know, guys I’d find attractive in person have never made it known to me directly. It’s always that RARE occasion where I think one is maybe making eye contact or someone I knew pointed out a guy was looking at me/word of mouth this or that guy found me attractive etc. Then on dating apps, I’d have guys that I initially considered *potential* eventually showing interest in me (asking out etc) after I got to know them a bit more and I just find a way to dip out.

Im so conflicted. I feel invisible & when a guy appeals to me in some way on a dating app (which should be taken with a grain of salt), I just can’t be bothered for whatever the reason is for me at that moment. It’s apathy/anxiety/self sabotage/confusion etc?

He said let’s do a happy hour can you leave work early and I said absolutely! Around 4pm im packing up my things and he calls to ask if it is ok if he goes to meet up with a female coworker who wants to celebrate him for just a drink and then he’ll meet me at 5:30pm for our happy hour.

My disappointment comes from constantly communicating I always feel last to him and that he only makes me a priority when convenient. He goes to drinks with this coworker about once a week and though I’m not concerned about anything between them I don’t like feeling like im last in who he wants to share with. I later found out he had reached out to her to meet up sounded like she said something around lunch and then he followed up.

He ended up showing up 45 minutes late and then got upset when I responded to a message from my boss. He said it was disrespectful to do so in front of him especially being my boss is a man. I just said sorry and moved on.

It really bothers me that I try to tell him how I feel and it’s usually met with defensive responses and then he immediately gets upset with me when it comes to someone of the opposite sex.

Am I overreacting?

I think she said it beautifully.

It’s that anyone MUST initiate. But rather, to wait just for the sake of waiting. For permission. To live. Is detrimental.

“Q : How do I ask a guy out on a date?

A : Did you know, that when it comes to psychology, when you say to someone you’re attracted to them, this increases their curiosity to you and even gets them thinking you’re attractive. It can, if the person sees you attractive already at an unconscious level, get him to start thinking of dating you.

Did you also know, that most men, the confident ones, whether it’s a bad boy or someone who is just confident guy, will be very impressed by you asking him out.

Did you also know, that you can tell if the persons values, the world is positive or stinks, shallow, by asking them out on a date. If that person who is a friend or someone you just met starts acting weird, ignores you, this tells you a lot about how deep down, they are not really good person. They judge people a lot, they are shallow.

A person who takes it as a compliment, even if they say they are not interested will be nice to you, and when you see them again, they’ll be looking forward to saying hello to you. That shows they have goodness inside them and they feel a lot of empathy.

Did you also know…the experienenced, confident guys or guys who have never dated, like open communication. They don’t like the games, the hints. Many guys are like that anyways.

When you say it, it is a relief for them because they know you’re not into the mind games, you’re not insecure and you are sincere.

Did you also know, you’re not the only one attracted to the guy.

There are women who are and so, if you don’t make the move then you make it possible and increase the chance to 95% that the other, whoever she is, who asks him out, gets the guy.

Did you also know, whenever you don’t take action on something or someone you want, your growth is slowed down. You’re not learning, growing in confidence. “

CONTINUED* 👇🏽