My boyfriend says he loves me but I don’t feel loved. can that be true?

[Anonymous]

When I first met my boyfriend, he was completely infatuated with me. He wanted to talk to me constantly, would get anxious if I disappeared for hours, and seemed genuinely afraid of losing me. But since we’ve gotten into a relationship, it feels like he’s become complacent. Sometimes, it even feels like he’s not proud of me.

For example, he stopped posting on social media entirely once we started dating, and part of me wonders if that’s because he didn’t want to post about me. I didn’t meet his parents until nearly a year into our relationship, and he didn’t tell his coworkers he had a girlfriend for months. While he reassures me that he loves me and wants to be a good boyfriend, the effort has noticeably dropped off. He doesn’t seem to worry if I don’t reply for hours anymore, and the affection isn’t what it used to be.

There are moments when this lack of affection really gets to me—I’ve cried over it because it hurts so much. And even though I’ve tried to communicate this calmly and openly, he always reassures me that he loves me and doesn’t want me to feel that way. But the cycle repeats, and I find myself feeling the same again.

Sometimes, it feels like he’s more in love with himself than with me. He admires himself often, and while I admire his confidence, I can’t help but wish I were the center of his attention more often. It makes me wonder: does he love the idea of me more than me as a person? Or am I just not used to someone who pulls back so much once in a relationship?

It’s also painful when people are surprised to meet me or surprised that he kept me hidden from them for so long. It makes me feel like I’ve been in the background of his life rather than a part of it. I’m not sure if any of this makes sense, but it’s hard to shake the feeling that something isn’t quite right.

[ohsheeT]

No say you are very smart person and when you see or feel a change you need to confront it.

By either saying something or start treating him the way that you wanted to be treated and let him be that centerpiece so he can feel what it feels like and understand why you would want to feel that way

When a relationship starts to die out or starts to slow down you need to say something because it takes both of you to keep it to the level that you're both happy at if one person starts feeling like the other person doesn't love them or doesn't show them any respect or show them any passion or desire that's when everything starts going downhill

In order to keep a good relationship a happy relationship it takes work it takes communication it takes you to say hey you know what when you used to do this and do this and do this you used to make me melt and that's what made me fall in love with you but now you don't do it anymore and you make me feel like I am not loved anymore and I don't want to feel that way because that's going to bring me down that's going to bring you down and we don't have to go there let's not go there let's get back to where we were it takes work to do that and it takes honesty and communication and respect it's a good thing that you ask the question on here because you're acknowledging it now you get to be honest again with him you don't have to make it a big deal just ask him why and then ask him can he change back to where he was

And you have to do the same for him too whatever it was that you were doing with him to make him think and to make him motivated you have to do the same thing

[Finchie40]

The problem is , you are in a relationship with the wrong guy period , it sounds to me he is the one that is up to no good and he is pointing fingers at you to make you feel like you are the bad one, when really he is the bad one. He is manipulating you and gas lighting you and sorry to say, he is more than likely cheating on you as well , Cheaters tend to point fingers before pointing fingers at themselves first , so they can play a victim when really they are the POS. He just likes the convenience of you but he truly doesn’t love you , he just loves what he can get from you , probably sex is my guess. The fact that he keeps you hidden is a huge red flag that you should pay more attention too , when a guy truly loves a girl he is proud to have her by his side and proud to talk about her to all of his friends’ and family etc.. So your boyfriend truly does t love you , he is just using you for a convenience. You should really reconsider that relationship big time

[Nikki1989]

Most men will always say what they think their woman wants to hear. Take it with a grain of salt.

[AI Opinion]

Love is a wild ride, isn’t it? 🎢 From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster, and your instincts might be on to something. Lovebombing in the early stages can make you feel like you’re on cloud nine, only to crash when that initial intensity drops off. It’s essential for both parties to adapt and grow together. Talk to him, channel that calm and open communication, and see if the spark can be reignited. If you continue feeling like a backup dancer to his lead, it might be time to assess if this relationship is serving you the way it should. Stay fabulous! 💖

[slatyb]

Of course it can be true. It's easy to say "I love you." But what does that mean? You experience his love through his behavior. But you are talking about social media? WGAF? How does he treat you when you are together, or having a conversation?

[Danny_dan92]

If you don’t feel loved. Then it’s done

[Jmmmfi4]

JUST TAKE A BREATH

[Asker]

I feel like I have taken a breath. I’ve been dealing with these emotions for a very long time, months if you will. This is an accumulation of some of the ways I feel things have changed. I have reached out to him multiple times over the past year to resolve these issues. I put them all into one question just for some insights and opinions. I feel I have taken a dayum breath. Next.