Boyfriend said he’s “not feeling it” but he also said he still loves me?

[Anonymous]

He’s barely trying. I asked and he said he’s “not feeling us”, which was totally sudden, we were fine a month ago. He said he still loved me

Updates

1 y

He definitely likes me sexually. It’s something else.

[PolishedMonkey]

Yup, the old "not feeling it but I still love you routine". One of the oldest in the book. To put it in simple terms, he thinks that your a Toyota but he's more of a guy that should be driving a Mercedes or a BMW. It's quite easy to resolve this situation as he is doing what the French call, "having his cake and eating it to". In other words, he wants to continue to have sex with you but doesn't want to commit. So, his reality is, that although he thinks he should be driving a Mercedes and you're the Toyota, the true situation is really that he's not going to be moving up to that Mercedes pretty much in this lifetime, I mean as long as he's making minimum wage at that Taco Bell gig, he won't be able to afford it. He's also very likely underestimating your value and most likely doesn't see that while you may indeed be a Toyota, you could care less, because you're fast enough to hit the speed limit, you've got a clean interior, low miles, and most men wouldn't hesitate to get in and drive you across country without having to worry about a breakdown. My suggestion would be to tell him that you're cool with him "not feeling it" but because he's not feeling it, he ain't gonna be feelin' it, or anything else in your zip code, and that there's no need to whimper, and there's no need to shout, cuz this parties over, so get the F out. Make sure to slam the door aggressively when he's just cleared the frame, so he gets some of the breeze on his backside when the door slams shut. That should fix things right up, and then you can get on with your life and live it like you want to.

[OlderAndWiser]

Don't just drift along ignoring the problem. Ask him what he IS feeling. Ask him what he wants to do about your relationship. Ask him whether he still wants to work on making this work permanently.

If you are afraid to ask him, then you probably know what his answers will be. Answering these questions MIGHT hasten the end of the relationship, but if so, the end is probably inevitable anyway. If the end is inevitable, why waste more time with someone if it isn't going to survive?

On the other hand, this may force both of you to talk about how you got off track and what you can do to get back on track. In a good relationship, you confront and address problems together.

[Crimsyjo]

Either dump him for saying that. Nicely. doesn't have to be big drama. Or try to get that spark back. Pull back physically and try being flirty and teasing. Is he depressed or feeling flat in life in general? Cos that happens. And planning some goals to look forward to can help. But it's a two way street. If he doesn't respond to your efforts then like others said... it's a dead end street. He's just not being upfront about it.

[DishLady]

He doesn't love you in a sexual way. He's friendzoning you.

[Account]

He's barely trying, therefore he doesn't love you.

[bobalife]

be direct & ask him if he still wanna be in the relationship. If he does, ask him how can you guys rekindle your relationship in what he feels is lacking? Relationships is a team effort and commitment.

[Lliam]

He doesn't love you. He is saying that to string you along in order to keep getting sex from you.
In reality, he's too young to know what love is or to bond with anyone. He hasn't experienced life yet so he doesn't want to get tied down.

[RageBabe]

It sounds like he has no idea what he wants; perhaps he is going through an emotional crisis; in any case, you do not deserve the mental games.

[DrPepper12]

He's looking to get out via the side door instead of directly.

[rienna888]

It means you deserve better. You need a man whos 100% sure of his feelings and reveals them to you. If there’s any sort of hesitation, he’s not fully in it

[ProbablyClueless]

He means that the relationship doesn't have any spark or spice for him anymore.

[FreyaRed]

Sure, I tell all people I love "I don't feel it"

[Caroline91]

Has something else changed in his life? Ask him what "not feeling us" means exactly.

[Nikki1989]

Don't be a fool. Men will always say what they think you want to hear.

[Serkee]

I doubt he thinks she wants to hear that.

[Anonymous]

Guys will fuck anything with a vagina. He just doesn’t like you as a permanent girlfriend anymore.

[Gdude9]

Sometimes guys need their space to make themselves feel better

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're giving him reason to pause.

[Cheerfull009]

He is not interested in relationship with you

[Serkee]

You're getting friendzoned.

[itsannalee]

Maybe he met someone else.

[supercutebutt]

Time to move on.

[Nerdvana]

Are you guys having sex? How old is he?

[Asker]

Yes and he’s the same age as me

[Staximus]

Get rid of that wishy-washy bum

[nawtee_me]

He wants sex from you without commitment

[noohair]

What kind of bull are you dealing with?

[Bigantdog69]

Wants his cake and eat it yoo

[MasterKS]

such an easy trap!