Search Results: thinking about friends as more

Ever since I was 13, during school I never really liked participating in sports or team work activities because the constant negativity was irritating and horrible to deal with, in p. e. activities usually last to get picked for anything and if I am picked I don't know how to really play any game or when I do try I just fucked my team up for winning so they bitch about it and then when I have to get picked for a partner for a group activity anyone who worked with me bitched about me being so quiet and boring, sure I still tried to finish the work but I would've prefered just being alone if i had to keep working around some bitch ass. Because of that I never bothered trying to make friends or even help my dad much with projects so I just stayed inside all day every day and during lunches I either waited in the bathroom or just avoided people no matter what way possible. As far as how i saw myself, I absolutely hated myself more and more every day, especially after some girl said, "Don't nobody want you." So i never thought of any women seriously wanting to be with me. Everyday I just felt killing myself Now being older and out of school and meeting every guy that was my classmate over again and seeing them have gone and done so much better in life than me makes me absolutely hate myself more. So i never seen any success at anything in my life. Everytime I see my former teachers and classmates i just figure they're highly disappointed in me. I wanted to be successful and have a passion for fucking something some job in life, but I could never come up with a single thing because of how much I hated myself and I likely wouldn't capable. figuring everyone else is much better off without me around anyway. Everyday now everytime I think of my parents I keep thinking they really wished I was someoneelse, like literally every and any other guy in my town. They got a good skilled job, tall, probably have success in things in life.