Search Results: how to make things work

He said let’s do a happy hour can you leave work early and I said absolutely! Around 4pm im packing up my things and he calls to ask if it is ok if he goes to meet up with a female coworker who wants to celebrate him for just a drink and then he’ll meet me at 5:30pm for our happy hour.

My disappointment comes from constantly communicating I always feel last to him and that he only makes me a priority when convenient. He goes to drinks with this coworker about once a week and though I’m not concerned about anything between them I don’t like feeling like im last in who he wants to share with. I later found out he had reached out to her to meet up sounded like she said something around lunch and then he followed up.

He ended up showing up 45 minutes late and then got upset when I responded to a message from my boss. He said it was disrespectful to do so in front of him especially being my boss is a man. I just said sorry and moved on.

It really bothers me that I try to tell him how I feel and it’s usually met with defensive responses and then he immediately gets upset with me when it comes to someone of the opposite sex.

Am I overreacting?

30F either DA or FA, want to say I’m some kind of avoidant. Based on life experiences, are these pretty tell tale signs I’m probably…well not attractive? I’ve always questioned how almost every pretty woman I’ve come across is always in a relationship with an equally attractive guy. When I was chubby younger, I thought losing weight would solve everything and it hasn’t. I feel like regardless of what anyone else says, I’ll always wholeheartedly believe attractive women have no issue finding a partner & they have life easier. I’ve been told I’m attractive by a variety of people for most of my life, even when I was chubby. I’m not thin, 5’7 women’s US 10 so midsize but I have that thicker thigh/flatter stomach build. The only time I get attention from guys I find attractive are on dating apps and that’s not telling in my opinion. I’ve been told this guy looked at me/this guy found me attractive from other people but the guy never makes it known to me. And there’s been very very few times where I would see an attractive guy making eye contact with me or at least caught my gaze but I just look away b/c I don’t see the point. I’m anxious/reserved but a lot of people with anxiety are in fulfilling relationships.

Last thing I’ll add was being bullied pretty badly as a kid, again I was chubby so I know this played a part. Worse in middle school, I didn’t have to be homeschooled but it still sucked really freaking bad. And in HS but not as extreme as middle school, HS was more mean girls if anything. As an adult at old jobs, I did have confrontation/clashing w/personalities too. And let’s not forget shit bosses. Since I’ve worked remotely for the past few years, I haven’t had drama with coworkers or mgmt. Let’s hope it stays that way, I’ve had to deal with toxic family members too but that’s a thing of the past.

I’M SO CONVINCED THESE THINGS DON’T HAPPEN TO ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE

I like I’m sure most of you see gimmicks constantly about how to get a partner keep a partner make a partner happy make sure they don’t stop loving you, blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah. I think it’s all really overcomplicated.

in my opinion, If you’re good to yourself and good to your partner (something you can’t exactly prepare for or no until you get to know that person, specifically) and things still don’t work out it’s just not right.

A Partner like a friendship, fits into your life and when it doesn’t work despite your best intentions, it’s not the right fit. It’s strange to me to make sure they can make something work with the person they’ve never met. Because you can’t really know how to work things out with someone that doesn’t exist in your life yet.

I don’t think there’s a magic recipe. I don’t think there are truisms that span over billions of people exactly the same way. not beyond kindness…

And I’ve seen tons of relationships, where people went to all kinds of links to maintain a good relationship, and they followed all these rules and at the end of the day some worked some didn’t.

Trying to make something or lose yourself and that can cause the relationship to break apart if you came together because of who you are and who the other person is, and then one of you gets lost, that’s problematic.

Anyhow, I think the way that each person needs to be treated is Definitely context in case & person dependent. There’s no magic bullet. Except Kindness. But that’s true for any relation, not just partners.

I especially dislike people acting fake trying to impress the person And then you end up with someone that you’re not expecting at all. A disillusionment That is totally unnecessary and avoidable.