I want my future child to be an active person, no delays... is my concern valid?

[Anonymous]

Even though I'm slightly over 2 months pregnant (within marriage), I would want my child raised as an active person without delays. The first thing that comes in mind is him/her learning how to float on their backs in a pool as early as possible, take the baby outdoors and make him/her breath fresh air, get him/her socialized with the family so they don't get too attached to you the older they get, etc.

I have several plans in mind as the child gets older. I don't want delays on speech, eating nor socializing with people and don't want them getting bullied in school either. I would like getting him/her involved in social actities, not just focusing on getting good grades, make them involve in helping with household chores, etc.

It's different if the baby is born with choromosome abnormalities, causing delays. In that case, I can't do anything but be understanding. However, if they are born healthy, then it's my and her husband's job to raise them adequate if we don't want setbacks.

Note: I'll be honest, I'd rather my child does the bullying then getting bullied. Why? Since it's our child and responsibility, that matter will be taken care of quickly. I would express my great disappointment and make sure they never even think doing it again. However, if they get bullied you have to worry about several other children (of parents not doing their job in solving the issue) and excusing yourself from work to head to the principals' office, then file complaints, etc. That's already a headache. If they do the bullying, at least you'll focusing on one child instead of many.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you sound like crappy mom. You're the type of mom that imposes rules and restrictions on your child and your child will think it's unfair because they see you sitting on the on the couch living a bullshit life, but you expect the world from them.

Sitting around making a list of requirements for your child and you don't practice any virtue yourself you just expect those things to happen. Most of the stuff you want is not going to happen I can already tell.

[Asker]

With all due respect, how is teaching your child how to swim, allowing them to do basic household chores and involving them in social activities being a crappy mom? They are useful skills that a child needs and will serve for their future. Unlike my younger brother, who didn't speak until the late age of 8, got bullied at school a lot, my mom would cut his steak till he was nearly 12 and literally wipe his ass until age 11 (abnormal) and as a result he's useless now as an adult. He was born a healthy baby with a normal functioning brain but my mother coddled him too much during his early years, doing everything for him (even his own homework). Is that what you want for my child, another useless person that isn't good at anything?

[Asker]

As for me, my father made a big mistake in only focusing on me getting good grades and graduating from college. He focused too much on the good grades, instead of making sure I was actually learning and getting me involved in social activities and seeing what are my skills beyond just good grades. Instead I would end up getting good grades just to prepare for exams and homeworks and then forget everything once school ended. That's already a mediocre professional. I learned how to swim later on because my mother coddled me too (though not as extreme as with my brother) and that was wrong.

[Unit1]

Good grades...

First off good grades mean shit. Ask me how i know.

Good grades alone will make your child lethargic well into adulthood for anything else. Ask me how i know.

Good grades are counterproductive.

[Asker]

If you actually reread that part, I did said ''not just focusing on good grades''. Honestly I wouldn't mind if they get C's and B's and actually learn useful skills that can be used in their future. I'd rather prefer that than a child getting all A's just to do well on exam, homeworks and treating it as a competition. My father was too much on me getting good grades and it did nothing to prepare me for a real professional job. I have a BA degree hanging on the wall. I don't want a repetition of that.

[Asker]

Now if someone actually get good grades for the right reasons and actually applies in life what they're learning and has useful skills, that's an extra bonus.

[Unit1]

I see.
My parents too did put huge emphasis on getting good grades. They disregarded the good grades and only saw the bad grades. Taking bad grades home felt the same as being prosecuted for murder + a screaming contest from their side, which of these idiots yells louder at me and making me temporarily deaf and punishments.
That and so much more destroyed me.
School and grades are useless and a waste of time. Do what I described above and your child will become me: 30 years old, lethargic, no girlfriend, broke, sleeping 12+ hours a day.

[Asker]

I'm sorry to hear they were too pushy on just grades, which in the end is just applying your memory of the subjects taught at school. Memorizing something is totally different from emotional intelligence and social skills. In the end, there are several things that aren't even useful in the future. For instance I have yet to figure out what purpose did it serve learning about hyperbolas, parabolas, graphing slopes and doing long, teditious formulas when my major had nothing to do with it and I never used that in my remaining adulthood years. Great points indeed.

[Unit1]

I needed almost none of the things being taught in school. truthfully i didn't pay attention to school. it was dead boring. naturally, i daydreamed instead while not listening.

[Asker]

exactly; they teach many worthless things we never need in the future.

[Unit1]

Story of my life

[jahaims]

You shouldn't be a parent

[MK1997]

@jahaims neither should you

[Asker]

I'm pregnant now so therefore I'm a soon-to-be mother.

[In_Trance]

irrational

[Asker]

I guess. I just don't want the child undergoing what both my brother and I went through.