Search Results: men not getting what they want

I met a guy online who told me he stayed on dating sites for 3 years. He told me he never had sex with anyone except for one girl three years ago. He travelled all the way to my city for four hours just to meet me.

When I first met him, I did pull away, but then he tried to prove that not all men are the same. He didn't force me to have sex with him. But then he told me something that somehow scared me—he doesn't want to commit. I did not bother to think about it and just had a good time with him. We shared a lot of talks, fun, and walks. We were both happy and just sending out positive vibes until we had sex together.

After the two days we spent together, he said he had to leave me to visit his friend "girl" in another city, which is 30 minutes away. I was curious about it, but he said she is just a family friend, and they have been friends for many years and are very close. Her family is already his family. He stayed there for three days, and I did not bother to overthink it.

We still communicated together right after he left, and we have been calling and texting each other for three weeks now, getting to know each other better. He eventually told me that he wanted to get serious about me; he sent a lot of kiss and hug emoticons. We become more comfortable with each other.

Now, he told me he wants to drop by to see me in the city next week. I asked him, "Where are you going?" He said to his friend, "Girl," again for two days, but his ultimate goal is to meet me.

I felt uncomfortable and scared if he was telling the truth, and I somehow doubted that this girl could be his girlfriend or fling. I pulled away again from him, even if it did hurt me a lot, and said I needed space.

Now my question is, do I need advice on whether I shouldn't be jealous of this friend's "girl" OR should I be suspicious and cautious of this guy?

I’m starting to realize that maybe men just don’t like me, I’m going to be 30 soon & never been in a proper relationship. I don’t want kids at least but I really don’t think I’m unattractive, I have self esteem issues so my opinion changes. But I’ve been on the dating apps for years on and off, my interest in them just became lesser over the years. Getting matches are never the issue it’s just it working out, always ghosting, fizzling out, etc. I’m told I’m cute/attractive, I never get asked out by guys in person, I can confidently say I’ve never been approached by a guy I found physically attractive. Back when I was 23 I dated someone briefly & I felt so offended by only being able to attract him it felt like settling I couldn’t be with him, I’ve been alone this whole time that shows you how men feel about me. When I was younger and around people my age more often I was told these guys found me attractive but they never did anything about it. The fact that beautiful people are always taken it makes me realize I’m maybe just not good enough. Isn’t it strange being as old as I am & still not meeting someone that I actually like? I’m not asking for a lot: good looks, taller than me (doesn’t have to be 6+ ft), educated, good sense of humor, not a cheater etc. I feel like I’ve genuinely become less interested in dating with my experience, I have a lower than average sex drive too I think

28F, I haven’t dated someone in years & haven’t met someone from a dating app in over a yr. I’m at the point where I just don’t feel the desire to be active on them & use them kind of sporadically throughout the week. I’m really worried that years down the line I will regret being as isolated as I’ve been, considering I don’t have a social life. I don’t want kids & when it comes to friendships, I don’t put myself out there either. I just don’t have the energy to deal with people, most friends I’ve had throughout the years I’ve cut off. Im not one to settle with people’s bs for the sake of not being alone, I’m quick to cut people off when they do things that bother me after an extended amount of time. With dating, I haven’t had sex or masturbated in years. I find men attractive but sometimes I wonder if men like me. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & getting matches on the apps have never been the issue. It usually just doesn’t work out & it can go both ways, I never get approached by guys that’s always been my reality. People are a lot of work & relationships are too much work at times, I’m kind of apathetic but my anxiety takes over at times. Maybe the right person will change everything.