Why does my man want to have sex with other women if he says he loves me and is Inlove with me?

[wisexmind]

I’ve been with this man for 4 years. And just recently he’s been more opened about having sex with other women, saying he loves me and that having sex with some “hoe” as he refers to it , is not big deal because they are just for sex and he’s always going to come back to me.

you guys. I am so damn confused and conflicted with this. Please help. Continue reading.

Him and I have previously JUST RECENTLY started to discuss this more and more, as he’ wants to have multiple wives but wants me to stay with him and stay loyal and do all the wife shit. Problem is, I am getting no benefit from that

i have deleted all my social media. I don’t go anywhere I’m always home. I don’t talk to any guys hardly any girl friends. I’m so loyal to him. I do everything he needs me to do.
I’ve told him, I’m barely starting to undo that programming of believing monogamous lifestyle is what we need to do. I’ve just tried to be more open minded about it, he told me literally a few days ago he wasn’t going to have sex with anyone yet and that he’d keep his location with me, and tell me when he is going out w another girl so I can trust him.
anyways, I pulled up to his apartment literally an hour ago it’s 10pm CST, and I saw some chick getting out of his car OUTSIDE HIS PLACE AND HE HAD HIS CAR OFF. I already knew he had sex. When he saw me, he just laughed and told me not to worry it was just sex and she is just a slut? I’m like what the f?

i have been TRYING TO UNDERSTAND the men mentality and logic when it comes to this situation but oh my god, I can't. Can someone help me see through this?

i feel so hurt and so much rage. I couldn’t even touch him , I didn’t feel jealous or envious just upset because I saw him this morning and he kissed me and told me he loved me and now I saw him fucking someone else hours later?

what do I do?

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@wisexmind What do you do? You get some self respect and you LEAVE.

This man DOES NOT "love" you, he is using you. You are a doormat girlfriend, someone who will put up with his shit and that has likely being going on for 4 years. Why else do you merely stay at home, clean up after his lazy ass, and don't even have social media.

This having sex with other women is just one other thing in a LONG list of disrespectful and controlling behaviors you have given into rather than saying I am a person NOT a piece of property you own and can order around.

If you're happy being treated with all the respect he gives the furniture, stay.

If you want to be happy in life you pack up & you leave his worthless ass behind.

[Anonymous]

As fucked up as it may sound men have that ability to detach from a girl emotionally if he’s just in it for the sex. I’m not saying what he’s doing is right. I’m just saying as men we can have sex w random women w out getting emotionally involved. I don’t know how that is. Maybe having our feelings suppressed as kids growing up by telling us boys don’t cry, boys don’t do this or do that. Maybe it’s a chemical in our brain, our DNA, I don’t know. Maybe some women can do it. Women on the other hand most likely have to have some feelings involved for a man to even sleep w him. If that’s not what you want then find someone else. Regardless even if you meet someone else men will still look at other women sexually. But the difference is a lot of us won’t act on it.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Except he doesn't love her anyway. If he did, he wouldn't be so obviously controlling - no friends, no social media, etc. - to the point of being abusive. This having sex with other women is just one thing in a long list that implies he is merely using her & she the classic "doormat" partner.

[UniquelyBasic]

Men can detach feelings from sex probably easier than women but I dont think its that much different between men and women. I think the whole one sided open relationship stuff is really cringe. If he's going to sleep around then you should be able to also but thats not what you want. Its best to move on because you both want totally different things. So did he ever go behind your back sleeping with these other women or you knew about them?

[wisexmind]

He would lie to me about it. But I always had a gut feeling.
like tonight was the first time I had actually seen it with my own two eyes. So he couldn’t deny it.
Otherwise I would have never known.

I was forcing myself to be okay with him doing all this because that’s what he told me he wanted as of right now, but he still wants me too. And I I was trying to make him happy and do this for him and I also love him.

But it’s just too much I feel so drained.

I just feel like he’s taken advantage of everything I am for him.

[wisexmind]

He also says that women can’t go and sleep around but men Can because they don’t decrease in value.
He’s really manipulative but he tries to use that against me and just say I’m too emotional and I don’t think logically whenever. I try to understand and ask questions about this exactly.

[UCrayCray]

Anybody can claim they love you. It’s their actions that show you their love.
Would you say his actions show his love for you? Are you prepared to live a life where this is how you are treated?
You need to seriously ask yourself these questions, then decide what you are willing to live with.
There is no room in my relationship for other women, so I know what I would choose.
Good Luck

[FilmGuy93]

sex and love are totally different things for him.

[BarryLiverstone]

My guy instinct is to tell you to discontinue the relationship but I assume you have thought about that and are still struggling to understand him and why he thinks the way he does. Have you had many conversations and do you understand why he’s wanting all those things? I certainly agree your emotions are valid based on what you described.

[BarryLiverstone]

Gut instinct *

[wisexmind]

Yes. So many. It’s like a JOKE to hint that I even ask. He doesn’t even try to keep me though even if I tell him that this shit hurts me because he just says “this is what he wants for his life right now. Status. He wants fuck a lot of women.”

Yes I am struggling to understand his logic. Because I’m not ugly. I workout everyday. I read books everyday. I’m always home. I don’t cheat or steal or lie. I’m loyal. I’m young. I just don’t get it?

[Venting101]

I would leave. Doesn't matter how he sees the girls, he is out there cheating on you and telling you he will never be faithful to you, and that he wants to marry other people.

[wisexmind]

Im just having such a hard time trying to understand why he’s even doing this?

I’m not even ugly. I’m loyal. I’m intelligent. Like what the f you know?

[Venting101]

Some guys are jerks and don't deserve your loyalty or your love. No matter how many times you question how he can be this way, truth is, you will never find the answers heartbreaking

[Berethor]

Yea you getting no benefit from that unless you bisexual or asexual, what he doing is bad.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/01/120124093142.htm

[SexyRedd1966]

Leave his ass... he's a fucking jerk and he does not love you... it's too many men out here that will love you the way you deserve to be loved and to put up with that

[wisexmind]

😞😞😞😞😞😞

[SexyRedd1966]

I'm sorry don't be sad but your dedicating your life to someone who is not giving you that in return

[Twalli]

Guys don't always equate emotion with sex. Girls usually do. He can separate the two, so he doesn't see how having sex with another girl or multiple other girls is wrong because it doesn't mean he no longer loves you, and what you want is to be in love with him.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Except he doesn't love her anyway. If he did, he wouldn't be so obviously controlling - no friends, no social media, etc. - to the point of being abusive. This having sex with other women is just one thing in a long list that implies he is merely using her & she the classic "doormat" partner.

[Twalli]

@BigWhiteWolf87 I agree it seems more like he possess her as opposed to loving her, but he can be in love with someone and have his dick wander.

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@Twalli - no. Love requires respect. If someone is willing to sleep with others they don't respect their partner & thus they do not love them as a person. They love the convience and nothing else. This is a prime example of this. He so disrespects her as a person he doesn't even let her have a life.

[cryscrys1]

D o
N o t
W a s t e
Y o u r
L I f e


R u n
U
N

[MrCommodore]

That is not normal behaviour for most men, most don't cheat like that ever.

I have never cheated on any girl ever, even if we just went on a first date, I wouldn't be seeing another girl at the same time, like not even a kiss.

[Boredaf99]

Divorce him or he’s opened the playbook for you to get back at him.

[inhua]

just because a man has sex with a woman doesn't mean the man loves the woman. sex and love are not the same

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Technically, as long as you're not married, then it would be fine. It's when you become legally married, that it becomes a problem, right bible thumpers?

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Except he doesn't love her anyway. If he did, he wouldn't be so obviously controlling - no friends, no social media, etc. - to the point of being abusive. This having sex with other women is just one thing in a long list that implies he is merely using her & she the classic "doormat" partner.

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

@BigWhiteWolf87 As long as you're not married, it would be fine

[BigWhiteWolf87]

@Dav1dTh0ma389 ROFL. You so you're APPROVING abusive behavior? Hopefully you never get a girlfriend or wife.

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

@BigWhiteWolf87 I never said I did

I said, as long as they're NOT MARRIED, cuck

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

by the way, nice biased MHO

[Anonymous]

Love & sex is two different things...
Please understand this...

We can love even our pets it's doesn't mean we should have sex with them...

Girls are like pets only for guys ✌️

[BigWhiteWolf87]

Except he doesn't love her anyway. If he did, he wouldn't be so obviously controlling - no friends, no social media, etc. - to the point of being abusive. This having sex with other women is just one thing in a long list that implies he is merely using her & she the classic "doormat" partner.

[Anonymous]

He is a player and wants you to go along with his infidelity.

[Avicenna]

Sounds like he is a manwhore

[wisexmind]

What is your perspective on this as a man?

[wisexmind]

Like what should I do

[Avicenna]

Leave his cheating ass. Now.

[HappyWoman34]

He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

[Nikki1989]

Dump him ASAP. You deserve better.

[wisexmind]

I don’t know how to just leave him. Ugh that’s so annoying cause I do deserve better. I don’t know what’s wrong with me 😩

[Pterodon]

Because he’s lying

[wisexmind]

About?

[Pterodon]

Loving you

[slatyb]

You leave.

[jimmy2]

He a cheater