Search Results: trying to annoy me or like me

Waking up to the sounds of her mother doing dishes in the kitchen, she could only think about how her life went through for the last few weeks. Drained of energy, feeling like a corpse she got up from bed and went towards the kitchen.

“you’re being really lazy lately, sleeping till midday, don’t you have to study?’ her mother started to throw out words. These words were never annoying to Lizz somewhere deep she felt her mother doesn’t have the required knowledge in communication to ask what was really going on and to phrase another word for ‘laziness’. No one could in her life. with just a hum as reply, Lizz grabbed the cup of tea from the kitchen as usual and walked towards the balcony to enjoy the tea in peace. Placing the glass of tea on the small table on the balcony, she dropped herself onto the bamboo chair. As winds blew on her wavy long black hair, and sun kissing her golden skin, she sunk into the chair in comfort.

Taking a sip of the warm hot tea, her warm brown eyes caught onto something. Nothing changed in the view from the balcony, her mother’s pretty garden and the neighbor’s plushy green trees but her eyes which skipped through the trees found a young boy with a girl. They seemed to be having a good time. “at least they are happy” Leaning back on her chair, taking sips from tea trying to relax. The concept of love was confusing to Lizz, it was as if something was always missing.

Thinking of the last week. It was kind of dramatic, apart from Alex who never picks up on her likeness for him. Seeing him she always feels the same, weak, no thoughts entering her brain as if her whole body is going through a mixture of feeling, exploding inside.

Being the end of semester Lizz was having exams last week. Reaching her college on scooter, she went to the parking lot which was on the west side of the college which happened to be near to the college boys hostel. Just as she was about to park her scooter.

I'll give you an example: I was out working, doing food deliveries. I went to a restaurant to pick up an order. I had been there once before. The girl working behind the counter was really pretty. She was the same one who was working there last time I came. The first time I saw her, I was kind of in shock and awe of her beauty; so I didn't say anything, of course. Just made the transaction and got out.
This time -- the second time -- I remembered her (of course; how could you forget an angel like that?); but I had had enough time to process her existence and emotionally deal with it, and I had already grown a cold heart about her. (Because that is my modus operandus: noticing beautiful girls and growing a cold heart. I'm very emo.)

So I had my poker face on (which is what I wear to ensure that a hot girl doesn't think that I like her.) Unfortunately, my poker face is actually a Resting Bitch Face. So it may come off as a bit unfriendly. Maybe she might have even thought I was scowling at her. (I wasn't, really; I was just trying to cope with my internal angst. And I guess that ends up showing on the outside. The darkness in my heart and the pain in my soul.). But truthfully, I don't hate her. Not at all. I just hate myself for not knowing what to say to a woman.

Anyway, I noticed that she seemed a bit cold and rigid herself. So maybe she was mirroring the energy that I was giving off towards her. I was a bit surprised, though, and kind of embarrassed. I felt bad, because I thought that maybe I had taken it too far and come off as a bit TOO intense. I never wanted to come off as mean or rude. Just "not interested," that's all. All I wanted was to hide and camouflage my attraction and infatuation with her.

So, what do you guys think? Did she know that I liked her? Did she see through the mask, and was she annoyed that I was hiding it?
Or did my deceptive maneuver work (too well) and did she actually think that I disliked her?