If i’m as “beautiful” as i’m told, why do guys never pursue me romantically? am I not that attractive?

Question

i’ve had plenty of guys want to sleep with me and they’re always “so” surprised (that’s men’s words for when they’re trying to get in your pants) when i tell them i’ve never been in a real relationship. it’s always “how is that possible” “how has no one snatched you up yet?” or “you’re so beautiful, you shouldn’t be available” and it’s like I don't know? i’m constantly getting stopped in the street, store or mall about how beautiful my eyes and smile are. my hair and complexion. i’m “beautiful” “gorgeous” “jaw-dropping” and i’ve tried flirting, sending signals & sweet talking, etc and NOTHING. it’s like i’m guy repellant and it takes such a big hit on my self-esteem because if i’m as gorgeous and beautiful as i’m told, why can’t i find a guy that will like me for more than sex? if i’m as attractive as i’m told, why do i always have to initiate? it’s so annoying and all i want is a connection but no. this sounds so pathetic but when is it MY TURN? 💀

RavVid · Accepted Answer

It is a quandary.

There is a girl I'm thinking of who whilst I wouldn't say jaw droppingly beautiful is none the less beautiful. She dresses elegantly in a way I admire. She is always friendly and she says she is a peace maker and I have seen her do that at the local cafe community table. I doubt she'd be anything other than a loving collaborative partner.

So why hasn't some guy snapped her up? I gave it some thought but I have committed to not marrying. 70-80% women divorcing you inside 8 years is not a good deal and I want to keep all my own assets. It wouldn't be fair to waste her time and she is a relationship kinda girl. Plus where I am you are effectively married after 12 months so you can't do cohabitation either.

Most girls are me, Me, MEE. Not so many are you, me and US which is what guys want but if we are in our I just wanna have fun phase then I'd guess we would intuitively go for 'I just wanna' MEE girls. I wouldn't have guilty feelings with them but I probably would with a you, me and US girl.

I'm guessing this is your problem as you have said lots of guys want to have sex with you.

Guys become more relationship oriented as we get a bit older. Male brains don't structurally mature till 25 yo (guess why prime military age is 18 to 25). Female brains are structurally mature at 20. So there is mish mash between you at 21 and guys at 21.

I think you should reach up to guys in the later 20s, with your beauty and your relationship attitude you'll have a lot to offer. They might question age difference but just say you like men not boys.

MementoMori777 · Accepted Answer

Be patient, and don't be easy, and I mean that in the nicest way possible, if you are for example giving sexual benefits to people without a committed relationship not only are you giving them what they most likely seek but you are also giving them the signal that you give it up easy and aren't relationship material, if you haven't given anything up then don't, at some point you'll find someone you know it's right, not everything in life should be seen or heard, sometimes we have to take leaps of faith and love is one of those leaps of faith, you stick with your morals an don't let your beauty be everything you can offer a man because that can only get you so far, be hard to get, if you are a good catch and you know it, then be a hard catch, cause not only will it be worth it to you but the guy that accepts the chase as well.

GubGubo · Answer

I don’t think people would tell you that you were gorgeous this often if it weren’t true, so I would say don’t worry about that. As for all the men pursuing for no reason other than sex, I feel that might just be because you’re only seeing the opinions of the ones that go out of their way to compliment you? If I had to give any advice I’d say look for the qualities you want in a dude, find someone like that, and take the initiative rather than trusting he take it. If you have the looks and the personality, which apparently you do, it shouldn’t be hopeless. I don't know man take everything I said with the consideration that I am 17, and single, and a male.

lightbulb27 · Answer

we have to know more to judge. I'll say this..."nice" girls, finish last... a lot. Aggressive, confident, go getter girls with dating and social relational skills, patience, that understand how guys to some extent and know how to work them... they win a lot more!

Sitting around biting your nails waiting for a guy to show up... that's a bad plan.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Men are a strange beast. What you are seeing, are the individuals who just want to get you in the sack, and spend as little time/energy as possible.

The reason why they don't pursue you romantically, is because they are so insecure, they figure a good looking women will just move onto someone better once you get to know them, which is sad. I'm sure if they spent the time to get to know you, they would likely change their tune.

TooHot2Care · Answer

i have the same problem, I’m a guy and I get rejected a lot more than I get numbers and dates and…. The other thing I like. 😏.

anyway, you know what I realized? There are more reasons to reject a good looking girl.

“Oh, she’s unapproachable.”

”Oh she will just reject or use me, imma reject her first.”

“Oh, my game isn’t on right now.”

”Oh, I’m not feeling like approaching her today.”

”-insert bullshit reason to replace “im nervous” here-“

Understand?

Fireguy17 · Answer

Sometimes just being pretty is not enough.
For me it is more about her personality vs looks.
Or, it could be that you are attracting or attracted to guys that are only interested in getting laid vs having a relationship, or a combination of both.

shades777 · Answer

Being attractive doesn't automatically equate to being pursued, a womans demeanor and body language matter as well,

if your on your phone, always looking at the floor, earbuds in people will assume your being antisocial,

if you want people to talk to you, you have to be welcoming not stand off ish

VikingWarLord · Answer

The way you dress or how you do your makeup and hair, may come off as "hit it and quit it"

I'd have to see a pic though because many chics on here say they get compliments on looks or they KNOW they're hot, but not getting any guys to approach. I see their pics and they are barely above average. Send me a DM and I'll be BRUTALLY FUUUCKIN HONEST if it's your looks.

Show me what you wear on a casual day too

Sparkie460 · Answer

Guys today are only looking for one thing. That is the woman who is easily persuaded to go to bed with him. You probably don't look like the easy type.

Guys might not like your football shaped head and your big eyes. Lmao 🤣 🤣. I'm only kidding.

Greenbean27 · Answer

I wouldn't be disturbed, with the rise of social anxiety men are less likely to ask women out. Men take rejection hard so many won't take the risk.

HighValue · Answer

Often the people that give lots of compliments give them to LOTS of people. They want attention and sex.

Do you have a past of casual sex? If you do, that can keep most good guys away regardless of your physical looks.

Berethor · Answer

If you are having casual sex then don't be surprised to have a not wife material reputation.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Are you actually sleeping with any of these guys, or are you saving yourself for the right one?

Anonymous · Answer

Because most guys except the f-boys and player losers are intimidated, are afraid that you'd say no because you're pretty or feel you already have a boyfriend so what's the point of trying.

Avicenna · Answer

What I don't hear is you taking the initiative and asking out the guys you want to date

kakaling · Answer

Are you a Scorpio?

Degenerate · Answer

Good question I honestly have no advice

In_Trance · Answer

Must be something that you're saying or doing

Anonymous · Answer

You never give them a reason to.

If i’m as “beautiful” as i’m told, why do guys never pursue me romantically? am I not that attractive?

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What Guys Said

If I am so beautiful, than Why don't guys approach me?

If i’m as “beautiful” as i’m told, why do guys never pursue me romantically? am I not that attractive?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Guys Said

If I am so beautiful, than Why don't guys approach me?

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