Why do some men hate the idea of having a female boss?

Question

I used to work for a pretty diverse company, but when I became manager, some of the guys in my division out right did not even try to hide their dislike of me because I was a woman in that position. They would ignore my instructions, they would try to talk down to me, they would act like I was singling them out if ever I actually asked them to just do their basic jobs. It was just plain annoying. I didn't just show up and get the job, I worked very hard for years to get to that position and it was like, this is the 21st century, grow up! To be fair, there were a lot of male employees that had zero issues with me and who worked very well with me and my gender wasn't even a question.

Even so, why do some men just hate even the idea of having a female boss?

RavVid · Accepted Answer

I'm glad you said some. One of the best I've had was female. But gender does affect style.

There are some problems. Some female managers who have children tend to treat you as a well meaning but somewhat misguided child. No male animal past puberty wants to be mom'ed. Goes for dogs and cats too. I had another good female manager but had to consciously forgive her mom style.

On the weekend a gay guy was complaining to me extensively that his female manager was a manipulative bitch. And I've known women to complain bitterly about female managers. I have an impression that female managers can be far more rule based than males.

Another issue is that guys cut deals in the work place - you build working relations. As an example there was a guy in another company that I needed to work closely with. The way my company was doing business was making his job hard, so I said I will try to fix it and semi did. I was a mate after that and got a lot of discretionary effort out of him. We cut a deal.

It is much harder to cut I'll help you with X if you help me with Y deals with females - most often not honored in my experience. I think that it is that male and female hierarchies just operate differently. As a manger you need to be aware of those gender differences in how males and females work.

As an example there was a vacancy in my team and a guy and a gal seemed to be interested. I wanted the keenest who would work hardest. The guy did everything right. He lobbied for the role in the same I would have. The girl didn't. I too belatedly realized that the reason she failed to express interest in the way I expected was because... well... because she was a girl. She was expressing interest in a different form to that I would have.

The thing is it can be it is so intuitive to our own gender that we don't pick up how the other gender goes about things. My brother in law says to my sister 'tell me what you want done or tell me how you want me to do it - not both'.

I'm just suggesting these might be factors in your experience and might be factors to think about. I don't know anything about your work places dynamics so I have to be generic. Maybe your workplace is more operational than mine. I certainly have known guys who have done very little work - struggled to deliver 4 hrs - and were surprised by their redundancy. Maybe they prefer to discuss sports than work in which case they are asking for it.

For myself I like a boss to focus on the objectives and hear me out on the yeah... buts whilst I work out how to achieve the objectives most efficiently.

My thoughts for whatever they are worth. Mostly trying expand your viewpoint.

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

It's not that women aren't capable of being good leaders, it's that men have been working in leadership roles for thousands of years and woman largely started about 80 years ago... So there's a lot of social, maturity, leadership and practical aspects which need to be learned because they go directly against the perspectives most women are encouraged/taught/conditioned to have.

I believe it's less of a biological problem and more of a growing pain for humanity as a species as we become more civilized.

There's plenty of people saying why women don't belong in leadership roles and some of them are valid concerns but I want to talk about why I believe in having women in the workplace doing important jobs.

Like how about how differently woman think from men. That right there is a strength. Companies look for diversity because having different life perspectives aids in problem identifying and solving.

Women are naturally more anylitical than men. If you want to say "men are more logical, so it doesn't matter" I would say what better match then to put the analyst with the "problem solver"

Women are also typically better in my experience at completeness. In the industry I work in, we have a saying that you can find a guy who can do 90% of the job by themself easily but that last 10% is the most important part. If you put me in a room with a man and a woman and asked me which one feels more uncomfortable seeing an unfinished product that could maybe be passed off as done, my money is on the woman. Which is major points for a management position if you ask me.

They also I think will be superior in getting employees to stay with companies as their empathy is usually much higher than in men. I think back to all my other jobs and even if I didn't like how they went about solving the problem, women always are willing to admit when someone is not doing their job. (sometimes a little too quick but other people probably talked about that)

Everyone man, woman or other has a place in this world and at the end it's up to them to develop themselves to be as useful as possible.

That said, when I see a woman in a management role, experience has taught me to tread very cautiously 😂

SakuraBlossoms87 · Accepted Answer

Because 8 out of 10 female "bosses" should NOT be in their position. And I am saying that AS a woman. Who has been THE acting boss for a company when the owner was undergoing chemo therapy and had to have other women in managerial positions removed from their roles & ultimately fired as they were essentially harassing staff.

Unless brought up a specific way - with good role respectful & mature models - or have specific life experiences - such as military - most women are NOT meant to be leaders.

I was brought up with good respectful & mature role models, both my parents treat others exactly how they want to be regardless of others' status in life, and I served in the military. I can lead a company and did lead a company to success for 3 years.

But the average woman in leadership does NOT have that background. Are NOT meant to be leaders. It is WHY 97% of ALL major companies DO NOT have female leaders.

They can not deal with the pressure, they can not deal with the responsibilities, and unlike men they are very often petty, vindictive and all around immature for AGES whereas a bad male boss will get back at an employee once women do it over & over.

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As for your question

Look at yourself first.

Like many women in leadership roles you very, very obviously have an "I am woman, hear me roar" attitude problem. That much is obvious by your commentary.

You think because you worked hard you are entitled to your role. NO you are NOT entitled to your role. You received your role ONLY because the company was unable to find someone better. If they HAD found someone better you would NOT have your job.

This applies to ALL people in leadership roles.

However MOST men acknowledge that they are NOT entitled to their position, that they earned their position by fortune or stupid dumb luck, and why they WORK WITH their employees instead of parading around barking orders and expecting to be followed.

And exact reason why BAD male bosses are almost ALWAYS identified as having small dick symdrome. They parade thinking they are entitled to bark orders & be followed.

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Bluntly if you were a man with your attitude those SAME male employees would still be acting as they do because you DO NOT deserve & you have NOT EARNED their respect.

You waltz around expecting to be respected and NOBODY respects that sort of boss.

As for your other employees they are what everyone calls SHEEP.

They do the minimum requirements of the job & get paid. That is as far as they care. If you came into the office dressed as a stripper & put on a show they WOULD NOT care.

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

A female boss can be great or terrible or in between same as a male boss but if I had my choice of two bosses and all I knew was one was male and the other was female, I would pick the male boss every time and, I am female. JMO!

ArrowheadSW · Answer

I am fine with it. Just like anyone, as long as they know what they are doing. In one case, my bosses boss was a woman. I had to go over my bosses head because he was making a decision that would screw things up at the workplace. She had to call him and get it straight. Later he thanked me because he realized that the business decision he was going to make would have ruined us.

zeitgeist057 · Answer

um, it's called misogyny?

Another way to look at it, is that there are men (and women) who are more traditional in their perspectives. They enjoy the genders having specific roles and don't enjoy when the roles are reversed, crossed, mismatched, or otherwise "out of alignment". They see men as being dominant, strong, logical, aggressive, etc. And women are supposed to be docile, emotional, adoring, sweet, kind, etc.

The problem is that at this point, people who subscribe to these ideas don't see people for who they are, they see them as 2 dimensional profiles (are you a man or a woman?) and all the associated characteristics that go along with it. If a person doesn't mesh with those roles, they are seen as UN-ladylike or UN-gentleman-like (not a "real man"), and it makes them uncomfortable and they blame the person who isn't conforming to the cookie cutter profile they want to impose on everyone.

It's a simple minded perspective for simple minded folk, who can't be bothered to step outside the box and do some critical thinking or have emotional intelligence. When I say simple minded I don't mean dumb, I mean basic. It's not necessarily a bad thing, everyone has their limitations and things they want to focus their time and energy on. It's not that they are dumb, it's a different form of intelligence to be able to have that kind of depth. There are plenty of smart engineer, scientist, and doctor types or whatever who hold this kind of perspective.

Sorry you had that experience, but the thing is we can take any experience like this and learn from it. Grow and maybe push those people who have issues with you out, and keep the ones who don't have an issue with you. They can do some learning and growing, too.

Anonymous · Answer

Most men don’t care if they have a female boss. However I have met women who overcompensate by acting “tough” and demanding when they get in positions of power. They assume that off the bat guys won’t respect them just because their women.

Sometimes there are men and women who are just bad employees period. They wouldn’t be any more respectful to male bosses. Yes there are still dbag guys who get insecure by being managed by women. However they are small and shrinking minority of men.

Also I have personally experienced and observed reverse sexism with female bosses. I remember a female director once said during a product demonstration that “we choose Joey’s picture as a model account director since he’s the best looking guy on the team”. Word for word she said and people laughed at the time.

But afterwards I left thinking what if a male director showed a picture of a female account director and said “we choose Stephanie’s picture as a model account director because she’s the best looking woman on the team”. If that happened all hell would of broken loose. But the female director got away with it because sexism against men is considered “okay” and comical in our society.

SomeGuyCalledTom · Answer

I don't go by "male" versus "female" bosses, I go by "good" versus "shitty" bosses. Most problems female bosses have with male subordinates are likely not all that different from problems male bosses have with their workers. When you get promoted upwards the interpersonal dynamics with people you've known for some time can all change overnight. It's your responsibility to navigate those shifting dynamics in a mature and productive way. I don't know the particulars of your workplace, but imho most problems should be able to be resolved purely at the interpersonal level without needing to pull the 'gender card'. Maybe the corporate world has some ingrained sexism that I'm not privy to though. I've mostly worked in hospitality and have probably had more female direct superiors than male. The competent ones seem perfectly able to both give and earn respect in equal measure. Competence is what matters. Be a manager worthy of respect, and who gives respect where it's due, and focus on what you can control rather than fussing over whether you're being treated differently because you have a vagina instead of a penis. Nothing lies that way but misery. "Service is service" as they say in hospitality, focus on the work and make yourself formidable, strive to be a calibre of manager that even the most flagrantly sexist colleague can't help but admit "yeah, she's a good'n". You're management, the burden to prove yourself an effective leader is on you, respect is earned, not given freely. This doesn't excuse actual sexism within the company, and any gender discrimination should be handled through the appropriate channels. But most problems you have are likely just people problems, not mysogony problems. You're a manager now, so learning to deal with people problems is the bread and butter of your work. Get used to it, because it will only get harder if you buck against it rather than embrace it.

Sabretooth · Answer

they are often overbearing. women are not meant to be leaders. they are more emotionally driven and not logically driven. that puts them in a supportive role. to lead, one must be logically driven--or, you create hostile environment. look at the feminist movement. I've noticed they they are hostile and erratic and have destroyed their families... and, themselves. I'm not trying to be a misogynist and I'm very much attracted to strong women and encourage to take the reins when necessary. a few few articles to bolster my case:   and resonates with me:   it makes me think about my aunt who is career oriented but makes very little time for family... and it's gotten worse. she's now married and has a daughter with a man who also works... last I heard... she hasn't toned it down... you KNOW that this will have a negative affect.

jongreat46 · Answer

Because whether they will admit it or not, they are chauvinist and misgonyists. They feel that as a man that they deserve being promoted over a woman, I remember I watched the series self made which was about madame cj walker and her husband and even the association for color people president felt that all men needed to be successful and rich first before they even considered allowing women to be richer and more successful than them and nothing bruises a man's ego like not bring to do the things his daddy did. Oh yes misgonyistslove their mothers but they idolized their daddies for owning their mother and they think that one day they will be able to do what their daddy did and now they are not able too, it makes them mad because now they have to compete on an even play8ng field and no woman will marry them out of desperation and this makes them angry and resentful because if they can't get a woman then they have to face the painful truth that they are misgonyistic Incel assholes.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

Most women bosses are shitty asf. Also they usually insist on female style of communication and doing things. Like idgaf if Brenda felt I was rude. I say "pass me the stapler" "this needed to be done today and its not i need you to do it right now" idgaf if she's sensitive or on her period I make a damn normal request and I expect a normal response. And I got no patience for anything else. If you're not fucking me idgaf about your sensitive feelings. I'm direct it's work that's how you do shit. The end. But women bosses want to make you act like a bitch and do nonsense shit.

Every single one I've ever had did have an emotional public blow up at least once. I've never had a man boss do that. Once I thought one might and he left and came back... so he knew how to handle himself when he couldn't handle himself just fine. The women? No. Crying screaming. And everyone looks the other way. Seriously fire that bitch. I won't listen to a woman who cries and screams in an office no way no how. Yet I've never had a woman boss not do this.

Also petty office politics shit gossip etc.

It's not that they are women. I just don't respect someone as a leader who can't even be in control of themselves and do the right things and they expect me to be ok being in control of me? No thanks.

The_Shadow_Dweller · Answer

I have worked with two girls as the group heads in engineering 3nd and 4th semester (second year). Amazing leaders. I would prefer to work under a female boss. Actually gender does not matter that much as long as he/she knows what he/she is doing. Direction.

But since I have quite an amazing experience with female leads, I have a feeling that would be a peaceful experience, even memorable as well. There are many things I can learn from bosses, in general. Even those things I don't know I don't know.

Please don't let those people get in your head. Some problem will always be there anywhere, I have noticed. I mean, who am I, a fresher, to say this to you, a really experienced and accomplished woman. But I sort of get what you mean.

Some people just hate other people for no reason. And it is just the way it is, I think. At least I could not do anything about it in the 3rd year, the previous year.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I've had quite a few male and female bosses and colleages.

A bad male boss sucks but a bad female boss sucks worse because they will emotionally torture a person. It's the way women are and communicate... keeping in mind, that is a generality. Women can be excellent or horrible. I've seen women bosses be the most cruel.

Male bosses that were direct, clear, confident were the best. I had excellent women bosses as well, but takes one bad one to spoil the pot.

I also had the most respect for female execs, that were not my bosses... because they fought for their people and went to their corporate deaths fighting.

razelove · Answer

Because of DEI policies that will keep a guy in the same spot for years with a degree in the relevant job, then promote a woman or minority without a relevant degree or experience over them for the "equity".

At a certain point of that pervading many industries, when anyone who isn't your race or gender gets promoted you blame those policies either way. Like if a woman, or someone trans, black, whatever gets promoted over me without overwhelming qualifications, I'm going to think it's because of DEI.

Likewise, because of DEI, anyone in those categories will assume the opposite if a white guy gets promoted over their head without overwhelming qualificatons. It's created a lose/lose where it's easier for employers to just not promote people, which I'm sure most are fine with unless a job absolutely needs to be staffed.

TalynMere · Answer

My female bosses have been the best bosses I've ever had. Noone has been more focused on actually doing good work and not getting bogged down in the bullshit that comes with office work. They have been extremely supportive of personal growth and giving people room to contribute as themselves.

Obviously that's not all exclusive to women, just my experience, but most of my male bosses always get caught up in interpersonal crap and distract from the important stuff, defend their egos through their shitty ideas, and then inevitably get fired.

Summeroflove · Answer

I don’t know. Some people just don’t like their boss in general. If someone is being disrespectful you might just have to do what you gotta do.

As long as you treat your employees with respect you don’t deserve to be treated like that. You’re just trying to do your job

midnightmoon05 · Answer

I have worked for both. I prefer male.

my current female boss tortures everyone just because she knows she can use her power. My supervisor is fighting for us to tell her what she does is just making us do paper w9rk… my supervisor is also a female… but much more reasonable.

jshm2 · Answer

It's little to do with you being a woman, and more to do with competence and team morale.

But there will always be people who don't like you, and you don't like. it seems you're not a very good manager if you don't understand these basic facts.

Adam1978 · Answer

You usually don't need to tell a guy to do his job. Sounds like you are micro managing or made a really bad hire. So you are the issue not the men, you can't lead if you don't know how people work. So if you don't understand men, don't try to be in charge over them.

abc3643 · Answer

You deserve a good, long answer to this insightful question and I just do not have the time at the moment to give it the answer it deserves.

If you don't mind having a conversation with me over time via PM, I can probably answer it for you. Just PM me and let me know it is about this question.

BeMuse · Answer

You just sound incompetent. The only thing you could think about was your vagina. You didn't consider your lack of leadership skills, lack of ability, lack of communication, etc. Nope just your vagina. If that's the only thing you can think about when you're trying to manage people, then you are absolutely incompetent.

Pyrofox · Answer

Its cause I think a lot of female bosses don't grasp at all how to treat their male underlings with respect and often are prone to favor other female co workers. And the more important issue which is a lot of women don't grasp how not to come off like they are hitting on guys. Which ends up making tension when every guy in the office feels like their just one step away from having a night stand with the boss.

HighValue · Answer

How do you know it was because you are a woman?

In my experience from what I have seen IRL, that is not the reason. It is when someone they worked with gets promoted and they don't, they become resentful, even when it is a man that gets promoted. That is what I have seen.

AviatorTom · Answer

I've had a female boss, actually two of them... no problem.

It can be difficult to have a female boss though, since men will never understand women, how their brains work, what's important to them. Compare that to a male boss, who thinks a lot like the main does, it's easier to have a male boss.

So, I don't think some men "hate" a female boss, they just have problems dealing with it.

worldscolide · Answer

I cannot speak for you.. But every single female boss I have ever had was a narcissist, very dishonest, stabbed me and others in the back.. Was very mean and incredibly unfair if you weren't one of her favorites.. One even felt like it was OK to sexually harass me, and when I reported it, I was fired.. So you might be the unicorn, but most women I have worked with who were senior over me were out right pieces of shit.

Quackthulu2 · Answer

They don’t. The vast majority of guys couldn’t care less as long as their boss actually knows their shit.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

I'm more interested in why you think some men behave this way. I think you know the answer. It's unfortunately really obvious and I'm convinced if you're someone's boss you're definitely smart enough to figure it out.

Some of my favorite bosses were women by the way.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think that's true for most guys, at least I haven't seen it at all. But I've had some really bad experiences myself with female bosses. They can be really mean and vindictive to other females.

Tyrael · Answer

Half the jobs I've had my life, my boss has been female. In my current job my boss is female. I've had zero issues with any of them. Some guys just aren't nice guys and they'll find fault with anyone.

Anonymous · Answer

That's not true, the vast majority of guys couldn't care less. It's actually women who seem to hate the idea of having a female boss, and tbh I can see why. Female bosses can be ruthless to female subordinates. I've been shocked many times by how badly some women treat their employees, but those same women seem to treat male employees fine.

ChillaxingLove · Answer

Some women in a position of power tend to be on a power trip in an attempt to prove themselves. If they’re not on a power trip i don’t really care if they are a leader. One of the best leaders at my job right now was a woman.

coachTanthony · Answer

My last 4 bosses in the corporate world spanning 20 years were women. Some were good some not so much.

Anonymous · Answer

Women nag, women don’t know how to lead, women can be bitchy and manipulative, women aren’t compassionate at work they think life is one big BREAK THEIR EGO, BREAK THEIR BALLS…all for her sick twisted way to climb up the corporate latter. I can’t stand female bosses, they overcomplicate things and they tend to be ruder and knit pick stupid shit. That’s not a leader, to me that’s a loser trying to justify her actions so she can have the perception of being a boss.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

All the women I met who were in a 'leader position' sooner or later were bitching around about work un-related stuff. I'm not in the mood for drama. Be focused, and I'll have no problem.

Anonymous · Answer

I have had many female bosses and they have, for the most part, been great at their job and great managers. I do know that many companies want to meet their diversity quota by having a certain number of women in managerial positions so there is the likelihood that a lot of female managers have no business being managers and are downright tyrants. That hasn’t been the case in my situation, luckily. I currently have two female bosses who are both very talented and professional.

Bricealan · Answer

Only had one woman boss, who should not have held the position, and she was put in place by the prior male manager. She was away over her head in the job she held at the Boeing Corporation.

JessicaEarl · Answer

Do you have proof that it’s because you’re a woman and not because they just don’t like you as a boss

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Fragile egos and deep insecurity. I only had 3 female bosses, 2 of them were the head of the company, one I didn't see her much but she was a very cool person and the other I worked with daily was also a nice woman and pleasant woman to work with.

Razp_Sorbet · Answer

Because they don't respect women. Simple as that. They may say otherwise but they're just lying to themselves.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Meooooow! Sorry, there is just something about a women that takes charge. As you can see I don't take issue with it. LOL

Unknown29 · Answer

Personally I HATE having a female boss.
I literally can’t stand it. Why? I really don’t know. It seems a little unnatural to me. Feminists will hate me, but it’s the truth, and a LOT of guys think the same but are afraid to say it.

Still-alive · Answer

This is just my experience but they tended to be more vindictive when you disagree with their decisions or speak up.  That doesn't mean male bosses i had weren't jerks either they certainly were

FifiJones · Answer

I have no idea 🤷‍♂️. I'm male (just registered as female to understand the difference in treatment), and I prefer female bosses.

genericname85 · Answer

they don't. that's what feminazis claim to have a reason for their existance. i mean obviously with everything in life, there's "someone" who doesn't like it but that doesn't matter.

CuriousMufuxka · Answer

Because they can sometimes be complete douchebags. Definitely when HR is usually female as well. Very power hungry "women" that use their position to fuck with employees that aren't in their inner circle.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Sometimes it's misogyny, other times it's just the guy has negative life experiences with having female bosses.

exitseven · Answer

I have had two female bosses and they were both dopes. However a couple of the male bosses I had were worse

red324 · Answer

Well of you know wtf you're talking about then that's fine, but in my opinion a women will act like she's a a pro while a guy will just straight up say this isn't my area so I may be wrong.

Keishio · Answer

I dunno. Why don't some people like chocolate milkshakes? Because people have preferences and not all of them will align with what you think is right

RationalMale · Answer

In my experience, women have more of a problem with female bosses than men do. Men can work under men or women but women need to work under men.

misogynistic_pig · Answer

It would upset me that a woman orders me around.

slatyb · Answer

They are insecure. I've worked for women. Not a problem. I don't want to be a manager.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't mind having a female boss. I don't know what to say about these other guys you dealt with. Maybe there was another reason you're missing as to why they didn't like you as their boss.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

If she can prove she can hack it I have no issue. But be ause of hiring practices I always have to ask myself qualified or diversity hire, before I place any faith in her.

Anonymous · Answer

'why do some men just hate even the idea of having a female boss?' Many get the job just because they are female...

Pete671 · Answer

Because so often they got the senior job because they are female, by the way my boss is female and she is ausome,

Rockstarrrrr · Answer

Women get mad with power way easier than men it's just a fact lol

najekim · Answer

It's the old cliché, "It's a man's world" mentality. Personally, I have no problem if she qualified for the position.

TrillXHippy · Answer

Any job that I ever worked at the boss was a female. I can really careless about if the boss is a female or not

David4358 · Answer

I'm willing to sleep my way to the top!  Jk I own my own business

serious_miss419 · Answer

It’s their preference. I don’t like a male boss or a boss that is of India background.

AimeeKyle · Answer

I guess some may. I haven’t had an issue when I had a female boss.

MountAverage · Answer

Tiny dicks. If not physically, then at least mentally.

Aiko_E_Lara · Answer

Same reason why some women hate the ideal having a male boss

Why do some men hate the idea of having a female boss?

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