Search Results: trying to get over her

I’m 40, she’s 39 and both of us spent way too much time navigating the dating world. We’ve both been told since turning 30 to date men 10 to 20 years older. I’ve been more open to it than she was. She’s still not open to it. She’s really pretty so her looks aren’t an issue, but she gets passed over and dumped CONSTANTLY by men our age for younger women and the last time really hurt her.

I started dating a man age 54 last year and have never been happier, and dating him taught me two things: 1.) it’s really true that men like to be a little bit older than their women and 2.) men need to feel lucky to have a woman in order for a relationship to work (my boyfriend and I both know how lucky we are to have each other, but he courted and pursued me like no man my own age ever did). My friend has not accepted this yet, and it’s such a shame because my boyfriend has a friend who is perfect for her. The guy met her one time and has been begging me ever since to set him up with her and he’s been pursuing her nonstop but she won’t give him a chance just because he’s 60. She says the age gap is too big and she won’t date him because he’s 20 years older even though he treats women really well, can give her the life and love she deserves and can also respect all of the wonderful qualities that she has to offer.

That man has outright told me that he wants someone our age. How can I make her see that women our age are better off with men that age?

She said the oldest she’ll date is 50.

Am I right when I say middle aged women in their late 30’s should be dating men in their late 50’s/early 60’s? Is she right that the age gap is too big?

So my best friend has been feeling down the past month or so and since I no longer live in the same state as her I can’t physically be there for her. But I am also 8 months pregnant and barely have the energy to do anything even working has been a struggle. We didn’t text for over a week, not my fault she just never responded but read my message. Gets upset today because I didn’t check in on her but when I have been she barely responded.

At the end of the day I feel as though if you’re depressed it’s understandable & I’m giving the best advice I can give. But your situation is not going to go above mine when I’m pregnant and she barely checks on me. Plus she isn’t doing anything to get herself out of the depression so it’s not up to me to solve that problem. She hasn’t asked about me, she hasn’t asked if the baby has been okay but wants this title as a god parent.

In a way she tries to guilt trip me saying well our communication isn’t the same since you’ve been pregnant blah blah blah. Like what does my personal life have to do with YOU not responding. And honestly I have no energy to cater to someone else when we’re both grown and I have a husband and a baby on the & work full time.

I always acknowledge her feelings but today I had enough of the pity party bullshit. And when I told her “ I've reached out to you and you rarely respond now I give you space because no matter what I say or whatever advice I give your going to feel how you feel you need work on your shit” I got no response again. Im mot going to kiss ass or pity someone who just expects someone to always be there when they can’t!