What should I do if my girlfriend's friends hate me?

[Anonymous]

It’s super awkward because I want to get along with them, but no matter what I do, they don’t seem to like me. I’m not sure if it’s something I’ve done or if they just don’t want me around. Should I try harder to win them over, or is it better to just keep my distance and focus on my relationship with her? Any advice?

[hahahmm]

I never needed to get along with a girlfriend's friends. I wasn't hanging out with her friends or dating her friends. I did hang out with her girlfriend's boyfriend/husband sometimes. If a girlfriend ever had a friend who hated me, it made me think about why the girlfriend would listen to that friend instead of go by how I acted & treated her... never lost sleep over it. It was a source of amusement to me sometimes. But I can only think of 1 time a friend hated me like that. And what ended up happening was that friend eventually got divorced from her a-hole husband and married a guy more like me. Then she told my girlfriend how she had been wrong about me.

[hahahmm]

*sometimes I would go to parties/events where girlfriend's friends were there but honestly, I don't remember ever trying to be friends with them.

[Finchie40]

Just treat them the way they treat you , but ignore them for the most part and act like they don’t exist , Most female friends’ like to talk shit and gossip behind peoples’ backs , so they probably already talked shit about you , so just ignore it until the day something to your face , if they are rude to your face , be rude back , if your girlfriend loves you and cares about you , she willl eventually distance herself from those friends’ if they don’t respect you

[adriano]

Don’t force it. Be polite, but don’t bend over backward for their approval. Focus on your relationship if your girlfriend values you, her friends should respect that. If they have a real issue, talk to your girlfriend and see if there’s something you can address. Otherwise, don’t stress it.

[Asker]

A logical point of view, there is absolutely no need to try too hard. It is best to proceed by maintaining a balance

[Anonymous]

Why should they like you? Have you markedly improved their friends life? Have you made any real effort to let them know that you recognize that you are an outsider coming in and want to be a net positive? Are you a decent person with his life together meaning no criminal record or criminal affiliated tats, have a big boy job and reliable transportation? If you got her pregnant would it be a celebration or a freak out?

If they don't like you it's because they don't think you're good enough for her, take it as a cue to try to do better.

[Aubrey97]

I kinda had a similar thing with my boyfriend's best friend for years. It's not that he disliked me necessarily it's just that I could not like get him to have a conversation with me like ever so it felt like we didn't get along even though we didn't... not get along either? He was infuriating. I gave up eventually. It's not really necessary to get along with them. You're not spending time alone with them most likely so meh.

[Miristheiss]

Flip it. Only date women with high quality, high character friends. If her friends want her to go out clubbing and drinking every night and want her to go on girls trips and party then don't date her as her friends will corrupt the relationship.

[Chevy1_kb]

sounds like her friends could be a little off edge with you. feeling your going to steal there best friend away from them. scared in case she hangs out with you more than them anymore. or try and ask her to have a talk with them so she can ask them what the problem is there is obv some problem why they don't. i think its in case you get more attention

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

I would be wary,

The sister hood and all that.

Those bitches will lead her astray out of spite.

If you know they are disrespectful about you, I wouldn't advise making it a long term relationship. You will end up on your ass.

[Chevy1_kb]

no he shouldn't break up with her because of her friends that makes him look like shit yeah just left my bird cause of her friends what a pussy sort it out that's what he should do tell her to sort it out

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

@Chevy1_kb that's quite toxic.

She choose her friends, they represent her and her judgment.

Who is he to "demand" she sorts it out, that's abusive and would have your kids taken from you in family law court, would count as controlling and coercive behaviour.

If things aren't right now, then they won't be right moving forward, she may well need to work on herself, her judgement and her friends, but it's not his responsibility to "make her" do that.

You need to work and act on what is in front of you, don't commit to something that isn't right, thats somone ellses problem.

Move on.

[Chevy1_kb]

i didn't say he was to forse her ffs a said ask her not force her your taking me wrong

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

@Chevy1_kb fair enough,
Although, the logic still holds true,
If you have to ask, it will put him at risk, becuase the girl will start asking questions and manipulating,

Your better making statements as man. So yeah he should say something, but not "ask"

But even then, he is either asking or stating that her friends are unacceptable, then the question from her is "will you leave me if I don't ditch /sort my friends out"

It's just a bad position to be in as a man, because then you are manipulating and threatening her.
And this will be used against you.

If something is unacceptable, never make threats to a woman as a man, and by threat, I mean, "if you don't do X / if you don't stop X, I will do Y"

Becuase it's classed as manipulative / abuse.

Much better of just taking action, if something isn't right or good, take action, then let her ask why you did the thing, and never go back on your actions or words, as its manipulative again.

Make a decision, stick with it, things will work out in the wash.

A good woman will know when you are withdrawing and be emotionally sensitive to it, a bad one will try to manipulate the situation to make her the victim.

It's a shit storm out there.

Lads need to look after them selves, no one ells will.

[Chevy1_kb]

He's better to be truthful rather than not saying anything in my case I would rather be truthful not that just leave without an excuse or not try and go through it first to see if it can get sorted see if he asked a nice way not nasty just why he feels the way he does and that he feels uncomfy if she loves him that much she will understand and sort something out I mean when I was with my ex and we broke up he never spoke to me about anything why he cheated what he felt why he lied for two years I was left confused alon to solve everything alone and I couldn't it was hurtful that he never even tried to explain why it all happened or tried to sort it out so I would really prefer in this world if people that are in relationships to sort it out because loosing who you love is a horrible feeling I don't want people to go through shit I did leaving with no excuse just sitting confused head spinning I want people in relationships to be happy that's why I want them. Both to try agree on some sort of discussion I always just use to tell my ex straight forward boyfriend or not better to be truthful than. Lie lying makes it worse

[Chevy1_kb]

He is just saying something not manipulating her or abusing her it's better to get sorted I didn't say he was going to manipulate her people in relationships should sit and talk it over nice way not angry or nasty or forcefully like my ex did to me when I tried to speak in a good way to him if he was cheating or why he showed me naked pictures of a girl he said was his friend when he was pissed and was in a relationship with me and or when I said I seen girls texting you or he hit me I sicked him back though if he hit me or he threatened me with knifes twice if I didn't shut up about asking him if he was seeing other girl that's a bad attitude that he knows he's wrong and doesn't like the truth otherwise these to people should try and have a nice discussion over it not a awkward one

[Joshua_H_1010011001]

@Chevy1_kb I'm sorry to hear about the awful time and experience you had.

I absolutely agree with what you said.

Nothing wrong with sitting down and talking, being frank and straight forward.

Every thing I've said fits into that, I've never said dont explain your actions.

But always best to act, rather than demand / ask.

Peace ❤️

[Chevy1_kb]

I just want people to be happy together in relationships it's not really something I've had that's went good it doesn't feel nice peace buddy ❤️

[Chevy1_kb]

Even though my ex threatened me I stood up to him a don't take shit off anyone lover or not trying to sort stuff out with him though was like trying to find a needle in a hat stack and his mum was just pissed off with us after a year all we done was argue square go mostly Everytime I was there but sometimes he would just shout out loud don't start your pish when I was only asking him something in my point of view I knew he was shouting out loud just so his mum could hear and looked to her like it was my fault and I was talking low get me he's a prick still is even though we still sleep together a don't like who he is personally with women

[LonelyHsoul]

They are just protective and probably hate that she spending more time with you than with them. Her gfs are like parents, sometimes you won't win them over right away or maybe not at all

Focus on the relationship, aslong as you and your girlfriend make each other happy then that's all that matters.

[ProbablyClueless]

Definitely don't try to win them over. Just be polite and try to limit the time you spend around them.

I'm gonna be real with you though; who keep as friends usually says a lot about who we are. So if your girlfriend has awful friends, that may be a warning sign.

[freedom]

If her friends don’t like you despite your efforts, it might be better to focus on your relationship with her instead. Don’t try too hard to win them over; it’s not worth changing who you are. If they truly care about her, they should respect her choices.

[Asker]

Thanks! You're right, the most important thing is to focus on our relationship and continue to be myself.

[femalewolf]

Be kind and respectful, but don’t change yourself to please them. Talk to your girlfriend to understand if there’s a reason behind it.

[Asker]

Thanks! Definitely, it's best to try to understand the situation without sacrificing my own me.

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Just focus on your girl. Other girls aren't that important anyway.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I'd avoid them, explain why to my girlfriend. It's not a vendetta, it's just that I don't need the drama and she's free to see her alone if she wants. And be careful that said friend is not undermining the relationship.

[beenherebefore]

Don't do anything. You're in a relationship with her not her friends.

[Crazzyyworld]

It’s not about you but it’s about her trying to look good to everyone. She has no time to think how others look busy thinking how she look to others.

[Crazzyyworld]

Maybe they are bisexual or lesbians

[Crazzyyworld]

Girls = whore

[Ariesman81]

Do everything you can to make her hate you more

[LiamJHayden]

Eventually she will choose them over you. Move on.

[chrissykerdock]

offer them cunninlingus

[exitseven]

Hate them back.

[David5668]

I think you know the answer……..