Rebuilding a friendship after miscommunication but I don't know what I should do?

[Anonymous]

This is a long complex issue; I'll sum it up by saying I met this girl were going to date but didn't happen, I retained feelings that screwed with our friendship then after introducing her into my friend group I feel a mutual friend got in-between and made things worse so for the last month she wanted space between us.

We've only really been back talking for a few days, not often but small conversation mainly, I try to keep things short and sweet. A mutual friend (The one i suspect to be messing with things between us, both girls) is coming over in the new year so I've been asked by the main friend if i was up for hanging out with them for a day, of course I said yes but a few short weeks ago I fell out with this mutual friend over some out-of-nowhere hostile comments she made so we've not spoken since, they got pretty close once I was pushed away

Another friend has said that they're going to try to have a 3-way call after Christmas but before the new year so we can just sit down and hash things out between us. A few weeks ago the friend said that they wanted to have a big talk in reguards to this situation but then changed their mind, instead saying lets leave the situation be and move forward, let time fix things etc and that everything will go back to normal if we don't pick at the situation, which of course bothered me as I feel like i wasn't given a chance to defend myself

So currently I'm in a weird state of friends-but-not-friends, where I've just got to take things slow i suppose, though I am due to meet both her and the mutual on the 3rd of January so things may be back to normal somewhat soon but again I got to just take it easy

Is it wrong to be bothered about this? Anything i should do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Dude, that's a really complex situation you've got going on there. It sounds like there's been a lot of miscommunication and tension between you, this girl, and the mutual friend. That can't be easy to navigate.

I totally understand why you're feeling bothered by it all. When there's that much history and unresolved stuff hanging in the air, it's natural to feel frustrated and want some clarity. It's good that your other friend is trying to set up a three-way call to hash things out - that could be really helpful.

In the meantime, I think taking things slow is probably your best approach. As tempting as it might be to try and force the issue or defend yourself, sometimes it's better to just let things play out naturally. Trying to rush back into a normal friendship when the foundations aren't fully there yet could just make things worse.

The fact that you're still talking, even if it's brief, is a good sign. That shows there's still a willingness to reconnect, even if it's going slowly. And the fact that you're all going to be hanging out together soon is another positive step.

My advice would be to just focus on being your best, most authentic self when you're around this girl and the mutual friend. Don't try to put on an act or force things. Just be genuine, keep the conversations light and positive, and let the chips fall where they may. With time and open communication, hopefully you can get back to a good place.

It's normal to feel frustrated, but try not to let that tension seep out too much. Stay cool, stay confident, and take it one day at a time. This thing is gonna work itself out, you just gotta be patient. You got this, bro!

[Anonymous]