Search Results: tell someone you could not be with them

Alright. I was not going to ask about this bc I really do not think there was any bad intention, on the other hand it’s bothering me so here I go.

I regularly have physical therapy for chronic dizziness. Therapists change every few months. This last one I clicked with immediately. He gives me exercises and answers questions. There is no physical contact.

After my sessions ended, seeing as we get on pretty well & with him being new in the area I invited him out platonically— just me showing him around.

I made it clear I am not interested in dating. He said he travels so he’s not about dating atm, we understand each other. No problems.

Fourth time we met up mind you this was over three months period of time- we weren’t meeting up constantly. It was very late we were listening to street music playing their last song, he moves in (slowly enough for me to stop him - I give him props for that) I stopped him. I asked him ‘you said you wanted to be friends. We both agreed?’ He said he did. He does. He was just feeling very friendly. 👀 👀

I knew he was joking so I laughed but then my mind went back to the issue which was:

1. I do not want to get involved.

2 I thought he didn’t want to get involved.

3 he basically lied to me.

And here’s the thing. He answered me honestly but I now doubt I can trust him.

he said he kind of assumed I was just saying I didn’t want more than friends bc everyone says that (((do they?)) and we get on well so he thought he’d just wait and see.

it doesn’t bother me he turned out to be a bit interested or that he tried to kiss me or even him lying bc he didn’t have an obligation to tell he if he was interested in anything - as long as he accepted I wasn’t.

It is the fact he assumed I was lying and I’m quite tired of people thinking I am playing a game when I’m direct. Even nice people.

He didn’t trust me & I don't know if I can trust him. BUT he did come clean. He could have played it off as a misunderstanding.

What would you do?

There’s been this school that I’ve been trying to get a job at for almost as long as I was at the last school I worked for ( 2 years?). This is a recruiter I dealt with before & I’ll start with saying I finally got the gig. The application process was always tedious: indeed apply, questionnaire that can probably add up to about a paragraph, interview with recruiter (this guy) and finally panel interview w/ hiring team. The furthest I made it over a yr ago was to that panel interview & got that rejection email, every other time after they’d send the questionnaire & I got a rejection email shortly after. Well this time around, I made it to the panel interview, was told this was the last step & then am told they want to meet me one last time to ask questions to gauge my experience & my expectations were very low but tried my best and guess it worked out this time around.

This time when I first met with the recruiter, he just went on almost an hr talking about company culture and kind of tested me too. At one point he said he wanted to hear from me because “he felt like he was doing most of the talking”. Every time he’d give info or give an order he’d always end with that *reassuring* “okay” & it kinda threw me off at times. He did warn me when we first met that he thinks the hiring team would want to meet with me and they did. Yesterday, he calls me to tell me that they extended an offer & I told him I wanted to move fwd but needed to let them know I had a NYE event scheduled after I met with them & wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be an issue. And he said I threw him a curveball, I didn’t do anything wrong but he wanted me to speak with the hiring mgr before moving fwd bc he didn’t want to speak for them. He said it should be fine but that curveball comment threw me off. You know when you just feel like someone may be reading you wrong? I come across maybe as too reserved to him but I answer “okay” and asked questions to show interest almost every time.

You know when you just have a gut feeling? I’ve been on and off the dating apps for years, it’s come to the point where I’m not as interested & I swipe on matches/reply to msgs every few days or every other day. Dating apps are the only way I’ve tried dating as I dont have a social life but dating apps have been successful for quite a few people I know. I’ve never had a real relationship, I saw someone for a few months maybe 5 years ago & something told me after I saw him that’d I’d be single for a long time. With him it felt like settling & I refuse to ever be with someone that made me feel like that again.

I had to use dating apps bc I’m not very friendly & I don’t get approached in person. I’m told I’m cute/attractive & I will say I have a very low sex drive (haven’t masturbated or had sex in 5 years). I don’t think this is a huge deal considering this isn’t something that will be an issue that early on, a guy can’t just look at my profile/see me in person & know that right off the bat.

I get matches (never been the issue) but it’s always: ghosting, fizzling out, lack of interest (can go both ways), feelings not reciprocated, just not a good match & some guys are just crazy. A lot of the time, I expect the guy to be a certain way from their profile & I just get disappointed because they’re so different even though they didn’t catfish me, am I being unrealistic? I just always have a gnawing feeling like guys aren’t attracted to me, I’d get told once in a while that some guy looked at me/found me cute but they never do anything about it (it’s always word of mouth).

Maybe this is an irrelevant comparison but I mean I can do everything in my life but find a LTR with a man like buy property, get decent jobs etc but what gives? I’m told I’m attractive but being pretty much 30…I can’t help but believe it really is bad luck.