Search Results: s/he lives

I grew up with a narcissistic father and later spent five years married to a narcissistic partner. After living through that, I can recognize those patterns instantly. I’ve learned how their dynamics work — what to avoid saying, how to respond, and even how tone and body language can shift the interaction. Their tactics are sophisticated, and surviving them taught me a lot about how to protect myself.

I don’t use those skills to control people, and honestly, the idea of having that kind of influence makes me uneasy. But when I realize I’m dealing with someone who’s using manipulative behavior, I know how to hold my ground and not get pulled into their games. It’s empowering to know I’m no longer an easy target, even if the whole thing feels complicated at times.

A close friend of mine, who works in mental health and also has NPD, once gave me the best advice: “Stop oversharing and start listening.” It changed everything about how I navigate these interactions.

In a way, spending so much of my life around narcissistic personalities taught me how to mirror some of their strategies when I absolutely need to — but only as a form of self‑protection, not as a way of living.

I can this with honesty:

I wish my parents would've been divorced long ago. It was terrible having to witness their violent episodes happening probably once a month or once every two months. Personally if my husband ever laid a hand on me once that would be over for me. Even once is too much for me. That's not all. At some point in 2012, supposedly my mother said my father went on explaining how she was never the love of his life but that he was always in love with his ex girlfriend. She pretty much dislikes him by now and their marriage is a farce; a mockery of what genuine commitment, love and respect is suppose to be about.

As of now, every single hang-out they go out to and even their so called ''40th wedding anniversary'' (that was on March 27th) is a facade, all for appearances. So basically growing up, I've seen a chaotic, unloving and dysfunctional marriage with episodes of violence. My parents would cover it up by going out more often and celebrating Christmas, etc.

Tell me what's worse to you:

What I've lived though my life; parents are together but it's a total facade of a marriage, a dysfunctional one

Divorced parents with joint custody and separation of assets