Did my waiter genuinely want to give his number, or feel obligated?

[Anonymous]

I had a nice waiter and we seemed to connect. I wasn’t thinking much of him because he’s a bit younger than me but he was very attentive and went beyond on some things. Asking questions etc just very engaging like most great waiters. Held great eye contact while talking about his 180 turn in his life and we connected over that

my mom on the other hand didn’t really pay attention to him until she noticed how nice he was. Towards the end when everything was done he still asked questions and tried to get us some free tickets.

my mom asked for his number and I believe she suggested us being friends and she said “maybe you can introduce her to some of your friends “

he kind of paused but I think he said sure… but she gave him a piece of paper and he wrote it down

I guess it wasn’t a genuine desire? I told him omg he doesn’t have to do that! I don't know if he said anything but he didn’t say “sure I want to “

[Finchie40]

Sounds like your mom put him on the spot so he might of felt obligated to give his number because he was hoping for a good tip for doing his job , unless he was flirting with you and making eye contact with you that made it seem like he wanted to get you naked in his arms then that’s a different story , but if that didn’t happen , he was judt doing his job and hoping for a nice tip

[Asker]

He had made great lingering eye contact with me which did turn me on a bit while talking about what he wanted to do and asking questions.. but like you said waiters want to be nice for tips… if he really didn’t feel obligated he would have said “oh no I want you to have my number “

But I didn’t reach out either way … why text a guy who might have felt obligated to give his number

[Finchie40]

Well until you try, you will never know, , so if you really like him , go for it , the worst that can happen is he says no

[Asker]

My mom ripped up the number anyway

[Finchie40]

LOL , well I guess just move on unless you want to go see that waiter again

[Asker]

I did love his dessert recommendation.. olive oil lemon cake with strawberry gelato and chantilly cream “ yummm but I’ll probably just DoorDash it

I guess if he didn’t say “yeah I want you to have my number “ then he was probably being nice. I won’t bother him. He probably talks to 1000 better looking women

[Finchie40]

That’s your problem, you are just assuming things , assumptions will get ya no where in life , especially a relationship, when you constantly assume the worst case scenario you are only hurting yourself. . If I was that waiter , I wouldn’t give my number to some random girl if I wasn’t interested in her , I wouldn’t give just say , sorry I am seeing someone , even if I wasn’t. So he is probably waiting for you to call him , you also have to remember he was at work , and you and your mom put him on the spot , he might of been worried his manager would see him or whoever. So you are best to order that lemon cake and go pick it up and when you get there ask if he is working , and talk to him and ask him if you can have his number again because your Mom lost it.

[Asker]

My mom actually ripped it up and said I wasn’t ready to date… and it made me self conscious. On top of him being a bit younger..

If I see him I’ll just apologize for the awkward moment. I didn’t think my mom would do that! I was not planning on talking to him. It was just a nice conversation

[Asker]

And you probably think he’s just being nice

[Finchie40]

Well if you aren’t interested then just let it go , I assumed you were interested in him , , so erase everything I said lol

[Tomislav7]

last thing he wants is give away the girl he wants to someone else.

[Asker]

So you’re saying he didn’t really want to because he didn’t say “ yeah I want you to have it”

[Tomislav7]

No Im saying exactly what I said. No hidden meaning. No guy will pursue a girl to pass off to a friend. If I were him I wouldn't have. Your mom telling him to set u up with his friends was a big F U to him saying you're not attractive enough for my daughter

[Asker]

No that wasn’t it at all… she said that so he didn’t feel put on the spot in case he didn’t like me. He seemed more okay when she said that actually

[Asker]

But my thing is I told him he wasn’t obligated to give his number and he didn’t say “oh no it’s totally fine “

[Anonymous]

You just asked this yesterday
Did my waiter genuinely want to give his number, or feel obligated? ↗

[Anonymous]

Amazing how people on here read so much into so little.

[Asker]

I’m not understanding

[HollyK21]

Each time you post about this guy you are proving your mom right Chels. You are completely fixated on this interaction in a way that you should not be. You want to act like your mom is a complete stranger to you or your behavior but mom knew best.

[Asker]

Well she should have gave me the number because now I have anxiety. I really wanted to reach out

You’re loved I’m not.

[Asker]

Thanks for letting me know he doesn’t like me

[Asker]

Why can’t I fixate on it?

[HollyK21]

Because the way you fixate on men in general just isn’t normal. Let me ask you this, if your mom hadn’t have asked for his number or any of that, do you genuinely think you still would’ve been thinking about him? I personally do not. I believe the only reason this is carrying any significance is because you’re overthinking what your mom thought of him now. You feel like she saw value in him when it comes to you, and it’s making you overthink every single aspect of the entire encounter, obsessively at that.

It would’ve been way worse had you reached out. Just look at what your brain is making out of a 1-2 hour interaction.

[Asker]

So he wasn’t attracted to me?

[Iron_Man]

This is three times now back to back to back are you trolling

[Iron_Man]

Back again, huh? I knew that was you before I finished reading

[In_Trance]

Stop this

[Asker]

Stop what