Should I text the waiter who gave me his number, or is that too awkward?

[Anonymous]

Should I reach out to him or do you feel it’s awkward and not appropriate?

Yesterday my mom was in town and we went out to a nice restaurant and our waiter was a nice guy who looks like he’s a tad younger than me but we are in our 20s.. he was very nice and he was a nice looking guy.

He was attentive and he told us some of his favorite things on the menu. He did a good job and maybe in the back of my mind I thought he was cute and maybe said it but didn’t really think anything of it.. just a guy doing his job..

He did make eye contact with me even when just talking to my mom.. He did ask questions and asked how I got here since I’m not from this state.. I told him I was an art teacher and I told him how I stopped teaching in December to pursue something else and he tells me he understands completely and he just changed his major in college… did a 180 from film media to production…

I could tell my mom was up to something.. but the conversation was nice and he said he could give us recommendations for things to do and he tried to see if there were any free art tickets to go to the art museum.

My mom embarrassed me and told him I need to meet people and hang out and she ask him for his number and she says “maybe you have friends you can hook her up with “

It’s awkward for me and I tell him that he doesn’t have to do that or feel obligated to and i apologized… it was kind of a pause maybe because it’s awkward but he does say sure and he writes his number down

But I don’t want to reach out because I don’t know if he really wanted to or felt obligated

Don’t reach out he’s not interested

Yes reach out

[Tyler_with_Questions]

Texting him is not inappropriate or necessarily awkward, especially if you keep it casual and respectful. The fact that he gave you his number and engaged in conversation suggests openness. Your mom’s involvement might have added some pressure, but that doesn’t mean he wasn’t genuinely interested. A friendly, light message is a good way to test the waters without committing to anything.

[Asker]

Very true! I just feel a bit insecure.. I think I’m older than him and he’s in college still figuring things out.. he’s a nice looking guy I’m sure he gets women or he may be talking to someone

[Tyler_with_Questions]

Well, ultimately you have to ask yourself, do you want to get to know him? If the answer is yes, then you have nothing to lose by reaching out. Based on his response you’ll be able to tell if he’s genuinely interested or just being polite. If the former, see where it goes. If the latter, move on. No harm, no foul.

[Asker]

I think I just don’t want to know.. scared he gave me a fake number lol … he’s young and attractive… I feel like if it wasn’t a “hell yeah let’s talk!” Then it’s a hell no… especially if I need clarity

[spartan55]

@asker
You have a very defeatist attitude about all of this. Perhaps you shouldn't date right now.

[OlderAndWiser]

You have no way to know if he is interested. So you can text him, apologize for your mom being so forward, and thank him for his understanding. If he's interested, he'll respond and let you know.

[Asker]

My mom ripped up the number

[OlderAndWiser]

Is your mother schizophrenic?

[Asker]

No narcissistic

[OlderAndWiser]

She pushes the guy at you then tears up his number. Makes no sense!

[Asker]

I’m over it… but that’s okay… maybe he felt awkward about having to write down his number. Luckily my mom lives in another state… I can go back to the restaurant because I did like the dessert he recommended

[OlderAndWiser]

Go back soon, before he decides that you aren't interested. Tell him, "I thought maybe you gave me your number just to appease my mother, so I wasn't sure about calling." Then you hand him a card with your number on it, and say, "If you ARE interested, I hope to hear from you soon."

[Asker]

It just wasn’t meant to be lol 😂 he can find younger hotter women..

[OlderAndWiser]

The fact that you have an unfavorable opinion of yourself doesn't mean that he shares those beliefs. Many young men actually have a preference for slightly older women, because they are less likely to play young-girl games.

You gotta take a chance if you wanna find romance! I say that you oughta go for it!

[Asker]

I struggle with bipolar depression and ocd… maybe she’s right lol but if it’s meant ig it will happen again I don't know

[Asker]

And on top of that he’s transition from film to aviation so he’s figuring himself out

[Nikki1989]

You can actually talk to him.

Remember talking?

[236color]

That's why he gave you his number after all.

[Finchie40]

If you like him go for it , you will never know until you try

[spartan55]

You have absolutely nothing to lose. Go for it.

[Asker]

He’s married I believe

[spartan55]

How do you know that?

[Asker]

My mom won’t give me his number and it’s been 2 days… she said she didn’t like my “attitude “…. So I tried to search for him myself and I believe I found him it looks like him, same name ect… and I remember he wrote down a 7 and there was a 7 on his number for the wedding registry

[spartan55]

What are you talking about, a wedding registry.

[spartan55]

Side note: wth is up with your mom?

[Asker]

I have no idea… that’s why I tried to do my own research…

It’s me spartan the one you and Holly call crazy all the time

[Asker]

Maybe that’s why… maybe you’re right I shouldn’t date.. it only goes bad

[spartan55]

Wow, you snuck right by me. Notice that my advice is the same as before. Best of luck to you.

[Asker]

So my mom is right by not giving me the number

[Asker]

I’m asking

[spartan55]

The whole point of her getting his number was to give it to you. She should definitely give it to you, then you can do what you want with it.

[Asker]

I agree

I might mess things up anyway

[LC75LC71]

That dude knows how to rake in the tips!

[Asker]

lol that’s good for him

[LC75LC71]

It's a well known tactic. Flirt with the ladies, they are the biggest tippers!

[Asker]

He never flirted just nice

[LC75LC71]

He gave you his number!

[Asker]

He probably didn’t really want to or it’s a fake #

[LC75LC71]

Thus my first post! Trust me, I used to be a server.

[Anonymous]

Life is short, see what happens

[Alex-Snow]

I'd reach out and see how it goes.

[Likes2drive]

Sure why not, nothing ventured nothing gained

[Zionne]

go for it