Search Results: ways to let him know you are interested

I usually just assume someone is being friendly/considerate. There's someone I met through a friend 1 year ago, and he's very friendly and social. We started talking more recently.

I have a feeling my friend told him I'm very shy with people I don't know that well, because whenever we're talking, it's like he saved all of the questions I asked him through text and shoots them at me to make me talk more. "I remember you mentioned [topic], what did you like about it?" He also always tells me the reason why he's replying late while he doesn't have to or tells me about funny anecdotes when we talk. And some of the information he knows about me is through my friend because sometimes I'm like: "I can't remember I ever told him this".

"Let me know how it goes"
"Hopefully we can play again"
"I'll let you know when I try"
He always makes sure I feel comfortable and is really helpful.

Some of his friends came over, but he asked to game together, so we ended up talking while they were in his room as well. I found it a bit funny cause we could ways play/call another time

I always think of myself as very straightforward and someone who appreciates the opportunity to be direct (direct in terms of honesty if not brevity) to make sure that things don’t get unnecessarily confusing. I suppose we can I say I believe very strongly in being direct. I absolutely have no interest in being evasive…

However, in practice, often times when met with specific situations, I’m surprised at how NON-ecstatic I am to discuss things. (Not thinking of anything in particular at the moment, I’m just reflecting overall)

I think I’m finding a discrepancy between my opinion of how direct I am and how actually direct I am in ALL situations. Of course it’s Fairly easy to be direct about something that you want to be directed, but of course.

And of course we’re all going to have behavioral practices that differ from our ideas of how we behave but I think usually there there’s a pretty strong overlap. Well I guess unless you’re totally delusional, but let’s take for granted most of us aren’t totally delusional..

I think im _not_ direct a lot more often than I think i am. At least I WANT to be. That’s important 😅

Anyhow, I don’t know what stops me… True, it’s uncomfortable but I think 78% of my life has been uncomfortable so I don’t see that as being the main culprit. I don’t know firsthand that information is way worse in the long run.

Maybe I’m fairly certain they’re not going to understand if I try to explain and so I’m just saving us both time by saying nothing 🤔 that’s possible.

They always used to say *if a boy is mean to you, it means he likes you*. So I can see how this could’ve been the case when we were younger, even back then as a middle schooler I was kind of turned off by this logic. Yes, I’m a sensitive person but this method throws me off. If you’re in HS then yes this approach is more expected or you can say it’s all you know. If you’re still doing this well into your adult years then yea…it’s time to switch your game up🤷🏻‍♀️. I just find it to be kind of immature, a grown man can find better ways to let a woman know he’s into her. Don’t hurt me in the comments please

I ask this question because I noticed often times when someone’s trying to solve a conflict where a Partner is let with them, they are more so trying to extricate themselves from an uncomfortable situation of somebody being angry with them.

🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s similar to “just give me the answer” on a maths problem, rather than understanding how you arrived at the answer. Which is always going to be tempting for people at one point or another. But this doesn’t solve the problem long-term because if you don’t know what’s going on and you don’t know what causes you don’t know how to keep it from happening again, if that’s not possible sometimes conflicts come up repeatedly.

🫤 I tend NOT to see much trying to _understand_ what is happening with the other person.. what is really making them upset.

I’m sure you have seen solutions for getting out do the 🐶 🏡 that have nothing to do with learning anything, rather ways to hopefully placate the other party.. gifts treats surprises favors etc. Thats stuff is absolutely bonkers to me. Here you have a solid learning opportunity that can help everyone long term and you try to buy it off. 🤯

Or the lazy generic “how do you get a woman to forgive you” “ how do you get a man to not be angry” nothing about what that actual person is experiencing and what brought out the maybe overly dramatic reaction in that moment.

I think many people would even be _annoyed_ if they were upset and someone started asking “what are you going through? What’s happening with you, what even caused this?”

🧐 I find it very _interesting_ when someone’s really upset. I tend to not get defensive because I’m more interested in understanding what’s going on over having a fight… I mean, unless of course I’m being accused of something absolutely ridiculous that has nothing to do with me- that is annoying af 🤨 but otherwise I’m more into taking an observing position.. I have observed this can be irritating to people who are very angry, however not my intent. 👀

Long story short..

I talked to a guy and let him know in the beginning that I wasn’t looking for anything.. I told him my emotional wellbeing is a priority and that I’m not looking for sex or a relationship BUT we could talk until he moved… I was guarded and kind of wanted to push him away… I also post sexy pics…

I gave him a hard time but I felt he was logical and patient.. he wanted to know the safest way to talk to me and he said he didn’t want the whole placeholder thing… he said more sweet nothings like “I shouldn’t punish everyone for someone else’s sin”

I told him I was willing to take things slow… and that’s when he pulled back and I confronted him.. he said he was being careful..

He admitted that he felt that I was unstable before the date but it wasn’t in a rude way…we went on a date it Flopped a bit … we both could have done better.. I could have talked more and explained my situation more and he talked about my pics and just said things that hurt a bit… asked when I was last intimate. He just didn’t seem that interested and I wanted to wait until marriage for sex

he ghosted me