Search Results: is it selfish of me

From my observations it’s tougher for women who had abusive fathers vs abusive mothers. It’s also very hard for men who had abusive mothers vs abusive fathers (society rarely talks about this).

The issue is I can easily relate to another man and understand motivations are vs. him being an actual selfish pos.

However I will never fully understand how women think. I can improve with experience but it’s next to impossible for 97% of men to fully get it (there is a tiny 3% percentage of men who naturally get it)

It’s harder for me to understand if a woman is just controlled by her emotion (hence acting unfair/irrational from my POV) vs. her actually being a selfish pos. I can’t relate to how she thinks. I can only rely on my experience and patience.

But I also need to be wise enough to quickly identify if she just doesn’t respect me. When I was younger I gave some undeserving women way too much leeway with this crap simply because they are women (I watched my dad give my mom way too much leeway). But nowadays I got better developed radar for this crap.

A mother will leave an impression (right or wrong) on how women are supposed to behave. Same goes for how a daughter sees her father.

Some people think if they “have to” ask for anything, it’s proof that their partner doesn’t really care. And that if they truly cared they would think to do it on their own without being asked.

The thought goes that if you really, really care about someone, you anticipate their needs and desires and meet them without any communication necessary. By the same token, not being a “thoughtful” person is akin to being selfish, cold, and uncaring.

Is this you? Do you wait for your partner to notice the little things you like, or drop hints, silently hoping they’ll “get it”? Do you let a birthday or an anniversary go by, miserably, only to complain the next day? Is there a secret test going on that your partner keeps failing?