Search Results: feel the same way

I start off simple. I’m pretty easy to get but hard to keep/satisfy. I’m pretty routine and when things start to change, I try to get it back to the way things were, otherwise, I’m ready to bounce. Like I start to feel trapped. Then i check out mentally/emotionally but rarely physically. At certain points in the relationship, I just begin self sabotaging as my way of escaping. Its just a bad habit, especially since I struggle with letting go and leaving on my own. I rather be released even if it makes me look like the sucker. In the end, it was all apart of the plan… But I hate wasting my time (and in some way theirs as well) but at the same time it makes me feel less guilty and less of the villain if i’m released versus just voluntarily leaving. I know its some sort of commitment issue but is what it is. #FeelFreeToList

As of recently, my popularity has dwindled on the dating apps & I’m unsure of the exact cause. Is it my age? As I look the same & I haven’t moved yet things went downhill a few months ago. I mainly use hinge & noticed this drought on all the other apps too, which makes me even more worried considering it seems to be across all platforms. Because of this, I’ve also been second guessing my decision to brush off the guys that previously showed interest in me. At the time I was somewhat interested in a few but either I wasn’t in the mood/doubtful because of negative dating app experiences I dealt with at that time/was too anxious. I question if I genuinely feel regret because this is a delayed reaction or if I’m reminiscing/liking the idea of them since things aren’t going my way at the moment. How can someone be told they’re “attractive” yet quality guys NEVER show them interest in person? If I got attention from these guys from the apps in person, maybe I wouldn’t be as anxious.

29F & I’ve always had this type of deep rooted anxiety when it comes to relationships, I’ve always been a loner & not the friendliest I suppose, to the point where I’m currently content with online/gamer “friends”. There’s this part of me though, that struggles with knowing I’ll never find romantic love. I’m very sure I’m only romantically attracted to men but in a way, I question at times if I really want to be with one long term. Let’s start with: I’m not very affectionate, I don’t trust easily, I get turned off quickly by “innocent” cocky or conceited banter, I’m very antsy about intimacy & not crazy about sex/masturbation to begin with. These might all seem like cop outs because I truly feel the right person will change how I feel about all these “issues”. As a woman I don’t think it’s that rare to not really have much of a sex drive, I keep hearing stories about other women in the same boat that meet their husbands & realize they weren’t “asexual” after all.