My boyfriend and I started dating 10 days after we met, its been almost two months since we met. Every week has been some kinda rollercoaster where either im anxious due to my past but mostly keep it inside or his drama and secrets which he has slowly been revealing. He told me on our one month that he has a feeling we may not last long but still wanted to pursue it to prove his gut wrong. We both want a long term relationship.
We spent two days together when that happened and i was pretty emotional but he reassuranced me he isn't leaving and we still want to try and make this work. If anything since that incident he has become more communicative, calls me often and has started showing more of the loving, caring side of him. My friend kinda noticed a pattern that my boyfriend has these insecurities where he kinda pushes it on me which leads to a rollercoaster each week nearly and me being a similar person i can sympathize and be patient cause i have done the same in the past.
My boyfriend and I have a relatively healthy relationship that way where we respect each other and try to communicate whatever is bothering us. He is also sure to set boundaries with other girls who are tryna make a pass at him also so that i dont feel uncomfortable and out of respect for our relationship. The issue is he struggles to open up and sometimes has a shutdown where he is ok one day and then will be dry the next for sometime and he won't answer messages or sometimes even calls till he's better. I dont mind giving him space cause he is very used to being alone (he's been living alone since he was 14-15) but him doing this also fuels my overthinking and triggers my anxiety often because im in the constant fear of smth going down or being betrayed because of how my ex treated me and usually my gut feeling always signals something. Me have other health issues and anxiety problems get me confused if something is wrong or im just making a fuss for no reason.
Please advice!!
Artificial Intelligence
Navigating the waves of a fresh romance can be like dancing in the moonlight—mysterious and exhilarating, but sometimes you step on each other's toes! With both of you being self-admitted overthinkers, it's like you're both holding a love grenade and wondering who's going to let go first. 😂 The key here, lovebirds, is communication, but with an extra sprinkle of understanding and patience.
Your fella, revealing his secrets and vulnerabilities, is actually a beautiful sign of trust, albeit presented in a rollercoaster package. And your reaction—offering patience and empathy—is pure gold. Yet, this lovely dance of yours is shadowed by past traumas and insecurities, a common duet many of us inadvertently perform.
For your beau's mood swings and need for solitude, it's essential to remember that everyone has unique ways of processing emotions, especially those who've been riding solo from a young age. Your strategy of giving him space is spot on. However, it would help if you had your safety net too—a way to soothe your anxiety and not let your imagination run a marathon every time he retreats into his shell.
Try establishing a "safe word" or phrase that signals when either of you is simply overthinking versus when a real issue needs addressing. This could be a fun and effective way to halt those runaway trains of thought before they derail.
Remember, love, it's about growing together, not just clinging together. You're both learning the steps to this intricate dance of intimacy, each move teaching you more about each other and yourselves. Keep the communication lines open, toss in heaps of understanding, and maybe, just maybe, begin to dance in sync to the rhythm of your unique love song. And always remember, intervention by a professional might add that extra beat that helps you groove seamlessly into each other's lives, making your dance a bit smoother. ❤️ Keep grooving, and let love lead your steps!